well
so i must be fucking up along the way somewhere, putting my paws on people that are not for me. these past two months i have spent off and on in arcata, off and on with a super nice boy that i had met.
last weekend i saw him we ended everything on such a high note, it was so universally lovely and enlightening. i went to go work on a farm, came back three days later and now he does not want to see me in that way anymore. at first he suggested we be friends, but then later he let me know that he would like nothing to do with me. at all. that he would like to close the door and be out of each others worlds completely.
i understand how my actions, assumptions and expections contributed to this decision, but i cannot help but feel sorrowful.
funny enough, i received a phone call just as this boy was walking away, waving goodbye.
i'm going back to the farm today, for several weeks. it's a chili farm an hour east of arcata in the middle of the hills. completely surrounded by woods and hiking access to the mad river which you can swim in. i guess i get to go there and think about what i have been focusing on, and what i should be focusing on next.
last weekend i saw him we ended everything on such a high note, it was so universally lovely and enlightening. i went to go work on a farm, came back three days later and now he does not want to see me in that way anymore. at first he suggested we be friends, but then later he let me know that he would like nothing to do with me. at all. that he would like to close the door and be out of each others worlds completely.
i understand how my actions, assumptions and expections contributed to this decision, but i cannot help but feel sorrowful.
funny enough, i received a phone call just as this boy was walking away, waving goodbye.
i'm going back to the farm today, for several weeks. it's a chili farm an hour east of arcata in the middle of the hills. completely surrounded by woods and hiking access to the mad river which you can swim in. i guess i get to go there and think about what i have been focusing on, and what i should be focusing on next.