...fuck ( Read more... )

It's so cold here.

I did do some self harm and the stupid part was it really didn't do anything as it hurts way less then the pain from my conditions so I just actually got exasperated. 😓

Oh...and the therapists called and said it was too cold outside to see me...

Fuck them

The worst part about being lonely and hating just about everything about other people is you really want a best friend or sometimes any friend that isn't a complete asshat but the choices make you regret it so much every time ( it's just better to not engage). you just stop looking and become angry everyone disappoints you so much, especially when ( Read more... )

I'm pretty close to giving up again. The worst part is things are ok but I'm not. I'm running out of reasons not to. I'm desperate for help but I can't ask for it. I don't think therapy or anything else is going to help because therapy doesn't help nerve pain. It doesn't help that I probably will never have the joy of having children, get married, ( Read more... )

How am I ever gonna get a life again when I dont have a clue how I had one once? So stuck.

Hate being depressed but can't talk to anyone. Don't have anything I can do to fix it. Just a sea of pretending to be ok, not that anyone could help if I did talk. What would I even say? I'm in pain and tired of living, welcome to the real world. I'm not even in the real world. I'm too sick to be anything of relevance which makes my life mean even ( Read more... )

I can't imagine how much longer I can keep living in this amount of pain. Just when I'm optimistic I can handle it, it's like some horrible plague amps it up again until I'm a screaming mess. I wish I could give up. I don't know why I'm fighting so hard, it's definitely not for me

So much pain lately all I do is try and not think about killing myself and have nightmares every time I fall asleep about horrible and random things over and over. Getting up, being ok because I have to for a few hours, then torture. My body turns on itself and I'm writhing in my own body in pain wanting out, unable to even rest. I don't know how ( Read more... )

Just remember it can always get worse. Always.

Eh this year has been rough but hopefully it's rounding out. Still have this annoying cough. Hm don't think I ever mentioned we have a bird for like what a few months now? He's the best really but feel bad his previous owners had no concept what a vet is apparently. People annoy me.