[Closed] May 6th, Night

[princely_calyx]

Who: Utena Tenjo princely_calyx  and Riza Hawkeye firebornfidelis 
When: Late night, Thursday. Aftermath of this.
Where: Pathway to the ruins from outlander apartments, ruins
Format: Paragraph, past-tense
What: Utena runs to Riza's aid after a disturbing network post. She gets more than she bargained for in the ruins.
Warnings: Possible language and violence, mist effects abound

Comments

[firebornfidelis]

Riza had been a fool, and she knew it. She had known it earlier when, after seeing the Colonel back to his room at the end of their patrol, she had set out again, into the dark, alone. She knew it when she stepped back into the ruins, though the mist had been giving her worse chills today than it ever had before. But the darkness had drawn her out, as it had every night that week. Only the familiarity of fear and shadow could shut off the mad wanderings in her head and she knew it was stupid to go out alone and she had been punished for it.

But now Utena. She had refused Riza's warning and come running out into the dangers of the dark too. She had pointedly ignored Riza's warnings and come pelting out into a place she had no familiarity with to find Riza, though she had no idea where in the ruins she was.

So Riza would have to find her.

[princely_calyx]

Utena stopped at the edge of the city. She had never been in the ruins before, so many had warned her against it. She took a deep breath and walked briskly in.

"Riza!" Utena's voice was actually muffled by the thick mist. She highly doubted that anyone would hear her. She'd have to go deeper.

How would she find Riza? Once again, she had rushed head long into something without thinking it through. She gave a frustrated sigh. She had to come up with some sort of plan.

If people patrolled, there should be some sort of path that they follow. She scanned the outer most edges for signs of constant footfall. For once, she had a stroke of luck. There was a barely visible trail going off to the right.

She followed the trail. Perhaps Riza had done the same thing.

[firebornfidelis]

There were things everywhere. Riza could hear them walking, moving, stirring. There were too many, she couldn't tell where any one of them was but she could tell that they were not kind. And Utena was out here, in this.

With the semiautomatic in her hands, fully loaded and safety off, she ran toward the edge of the city and hoped that she didn't miss the girl in the clinging mist.

Alone in the dark

[princely_calyx]

The mist was almost smothering. Utena was having a hard time seeing the path the patrol followed. She still hadn't gone too far from the city's edge. She could still hear the calliope music echoing behind her, causing her to grind her teeth.

"Riza! Where are you?"

She wondered if Riza had wandered from the path, lost in the mist. No, that was foolish. Riza was too good for such a foolish move. The air, which had a stale smell before, suddenly changed scents. Now there was a familiar smell...roses! Like her prince! But it was slightly different, something acidic, burnt almost.

It was gun powder! It had to be Riza, who else could it be? Utena forged ahead into the mist, leaving the trail and following the scent of roses and gunpowder.

"Riza!"

Riza's gearing up for it

[firebornfidelis]

Utena's fierce outburst brought back a little of Riza's ferocity, too. The strength of her voice returned somewhat and her fingers curled into fists where they lay against the blanket. She didn't raise her voice, but her tone was bordering on dangerous.

"It's not as simple as you seem to think. You don't understand. And I can't explain. Suffice it to say that I accepted this fifteen years ago and I accept it now. Prices must be paid, and I paid mine."

Re: Riza's gearing up for it

[princely_calyx]

"Prices to be paid? What price did you have to pay? Why did you have to pay it?!"

She can't believe what she was hearing. Just accept it? No. Utena never lived her life that way and she wasn't starting now. How could one just sit back and accept that whatever happened they deserved.

"Don't you see what this thing is doing to you? How it's affecting you?"

She turns away angrily to walk toward the door then walk back. When she reached her spot again she stopped and looked at Riza hard. Her voice becomes quiet, with a razor's edge.

"I've seen what keeping secrets like your's leads to. And trust me, it isn't good. If you won't let me help you let someone help you! I don't want to see you end the same way."

That last bit almost put tears in her eyes. She could feel them trying to well but she refused to let them show.

[firebornfidelis]

"Where I come from there is a principle called equivalent exchange. In order to gain, something of equal value must be sacrificed. I wanted something significant and I had to pay accordingly." As if things were ever really that simple. She did believe in equivalent exchange, in life as well as in alchemy, but it always seemed that the thing to be given up was a steeper price in the long run than what was gained. "Utena, I chose this. What my Father did, I agreed to. It doesn't matter how it affects me because it was my choice."

When Utena began pacing, Riza's expression softened. Clearly there was something beyond her current situation that was distressing her. She could hear a slight waver in the girl's voice and she stood and approached her. First anger and now concern staved off her exhaustion enough to keep her functioning

"I don't need help, I've already dealt with this," she said softly. She reached a hand out to touch Utena's elbow in an attempt to comfort her and watched her with concerned eyes. "This won't go the way you

Oh look, more yelling

[princely_calyx]

"Equivalent exchange? You wanted whatever happened to your back? That thing that causes you pain, humiliation, and alienation?! Really?"

She ran her fingers through her hair, frustrated at the woman before her.

"You clearly haven't already dealt with this! If you can't face me with it, how can you face others with it? Others who would understand the implications of ...whatever is on your back!"

When Riza reached out to touch her, she drew back quickly. She didn't want comfort. That was just a pacifier at this point.

"If it won't go the way I think, why are you doing all the same things? Withdrawl, denial, this supposed acceptance...it's all the same!"

[firebornfidelis]

Riza was silent for several moments, trying to process everything that Utena was saying. Her story sounded crazy - princes and magic and eternal pain - but Riza had no reason not to believe it. Utena did not strike her as a girl who would make up such a story, and the violence of her emotion may as well have proved the truth of it in Riza's mind

You will hate me for this

[princely_calyx]

Utena fought the urge to just throw the glass still in her hand across the room. It didn't matter what she said, what she did, Riza wasn't listening. She'd poured out the most painful part of herself out in the open and this is what came of it?

What, exactly, was so hard to get about this? She had the power, the whatever that was on her back, she had the prince she so desperately protected and gave power to, all she needed was the swords. When would they come in?

They already had. Riza, and Anthy to some extent, created her own swords. She isolated herself from potential friends and relationships, following whatever her prince said blindly. Oh, maybe sometimes she worked behind the scenes to help him out, "save" him from his "failures" but his word was always law. And when that word led to his destruction, there would be Riza, blaming herself. The agony of the swords, made real through her own power and mind.

The Rose Bride will do whatever the engaged wishes. The rule that had taunted and haunted her all throughout her

SHE JUST DOESN'T GET IT OKAY

[firebornfidelis]

She thought about the question for a moment. Maybe she didn't, maybe this purgatory of not knowing was her punishment for what she had done. It would be fitting. To take her away moments before the final moves of the chess game she had devoted so much of herself to, sacrificed so much of herself for. So that she could never know if all the sins she had committed were ultimately for something. So she would have to remain in this limbo of helpless guilt forever

Re:

[princely_calyx]

There is was, the crack in the coffin. The opening in the gate. Riza felt too much about her cause, it trumped her swords. True, she believed she had to go back to pay back whatever debt she somehow incurred. But it was something.

"Well, then. Good to know you aren't completely swallowed by the Rose Bride role."

She turned away, focused on getting a drink again. Even if it was poisoned, it hurt less than looking at Riza right now. And she felt so dry at the moment. She sat down at the table, realizing just how tired she was. She sat straight though, she wouldn't allow any hunching to clue Riza in on her fatigue.

She still had a long fight to go. It was time she accepted that she wasn't going to win it tonight. She would just have t keep telling Riza that she did deserve things, keep arguing until one of them broke. And it wasn't going to be her.