[ the feed flickers on to a shot of a... sort of dirty looking red-headed teenager, knees pulled to his chest, and mouth set into a grim line. ]
This is Kujo reporting in from treefort... I repeat treefort. It's getting cold out here, I don't know how long I'll manage to survive this may be [ dramatic sideglance-- ] the last time you see me alive
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What are you doing?
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I AM DYING A SUPER COOL MANLY DEATH.
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Isn't it obvious?
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The snow's only been falling for a day. How long have you been out there?
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Like... forever. I live out here.
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stares.
teeth chattering. ]
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Why are you outside?
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'Cause I can't leave my tree-house! Captains go down with their ships, right?
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[ Tch. ]
I'll be sure to wear 'em to your funeral, kid. Some choice of last words, sheesh.
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The blue ones look nice, but I like the red ones better.
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The hell do you think you're doin', spendin' so much time lookin' at my legs?!?!
[ Shriek. Scream. Oh my god, ew. ]
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A-ah... Are you okay? Do you need, um... a blanket...? Or a place to stay?
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I'll be fine... I'm at least uh-- 78% sure that I'll be okay.
[ sage nod. ]
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...What about the other 22%?
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[ said with such a straight face. ]
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Tell him yourself.
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I did, but then he got all mad at me! And said I deserve to freeze to death.
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You will not freeze to death.
[Snap!crack! Oh hey, it's a little ball of glowy fire, derping near your foot. It looks ...grumpy. But it's warm. Ish.]
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