we don't want this anymore (i crack the code, you end the war)

[saveyoursanity]

I feel like this is forever. I feel like this is always, that it will be forever, it will be angst and anxiety and --just breathless, and all I want to do is breathe in, breathe deep, breathe in calm and breathe out love, my meditation mantra-but all I am is breathless

Comments

[notacrnflkgirl]

Blue, the most human color

[justdbear]

Sometimes nothing has to happen to make us feel like shit. But sometimes there are things we can do to help it.

Just be proud of yourself for getting up in the morning, getting dressed, doing your makeup, painting your nails. It's a lot to do all that when you don't want to wake up.

Chemistry isn't the only thing that makes us upset though is it? Sometimes it is, but sometimes even when the meds are keeping us stable we feel like shit. Change what you can. Change the parts you can change. It's not all chemical. Chemical makes it hard to think straight but it's not all chemical. There is something to be said about the power of self as well, don't deny yourself that power.

[kyidyl]

I don't know you well enough to know if what I'm about to say applies...so I apologize in advance if it somehow comes off wrong or is offensive...that's not the way it's meant....but you seem somewhat open to discussion about the topic and thoughts on it, so I'm going ahead with it

[pandatini]

It's crude surgery, in the 1800s, except it's MY brain they're amputating without anesthetic, my brain they're not washing their hands before they touch-simple things, things that are going to look like absolute idiocy to not know for anyone in 200 years, but we don't know them yet.

god I feel this so hard. just. yes.

[lexi35]

You have an insight into yourself and your illness that a lot of people don't have. I think that in itself is important to realize. I feel the pain and despondence in this entry and I have those days too where I hurt so violently that I am overwhelmed at the thought of fighting this fight every day of my life. It takes me a while but ultimately I remind myself what I learned in treatment - I have to take it one day at a time. If I don't take it one day at a time then I will lose myself to depression. I think you are so brave to share your struggle with all of us. You have a way with words that touches people and it's a rare and beautiful thing. You put into words what I feel but haven't figured out how to express to others. Please know that you are appreciated. I hope today is a good day for you. Best wishes!