Comments | sasha_dragon: Breathe

sasha_dragon

Breathe

Dec 30, 2009 12:54

Title: Breathe
Wordcount: 8420
Rating: NC17
Summary: Jensen helps Jared regain his control after filming “When The Levee Breaks.” A follow up to Take Care Of You.
Pairing: J2
Warnings: Dom/Sub themes, wax play & breath play
Disclaimer: These boys are not mine, nor do I believe that they are in this kind of relationship. It’s just nice to have the ( Read more... )

fic, bracelet verse, j2

Comments 31

epicallytired December 30 2009, 23:44:19 UTC

Parts of this were really lovely.
I would like to suggest that you rethink your use of exclamation points. Often they took me out of the story. They seem to indicate a tone that was the opposite of the one you were trying to create.

Again, overall, i really liked this, both in theme and characterization.

sasha_dragon December 31 2009, 00:13:12 UTC

Thank you for your comment, I will look back and try to edit out some of the exclamation marks. I see what you were trying to say. Thanks again for reading.

epicallytired December 31 2009, 00:15:29 UTC

Again, i really did enjoy aspects of the story and this isn't a slam, at all.

Thanks for not acting as if it is.
:D

sasha_dragon December 31 2009, 00:44:10 UTC

Don't worry, this helps me a lot. I'm terrible with punctuation, and all help is gratefully received, and if it makes it read better for others all I can say is thanks.

garvaldmains December 31 2009, 00:25:20 UTC

Hey sweetie. So proud of you. Very proud. Hugs you tight. X x x

sasha_dragon December 31 2009, 15:56:55 UTC

you know if you keep encouraging me i'll just end up writing something else. Just think of the other fan girls. Thanks for all your help *hugs*

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sasha_dragon December 31 2009, 15:57:44 UTC

I'm just happy that you're still enjoying this. Thanks.

jackfan2 December 31 2009, 04:06:38 UTC

Truly enjoyed the depth and complexity with which you displayed the boys' relationship. It was stirring in all the right places, hot and inviting in the others, and really, just a lovely read. I'm glad I found it!

sasha_dragon December 31 2009, 16:00:34 UTC

*Blushes* thank you very much for lovely comment, this was my very first attempt at a "full" sex scene, and I was nervous as hell. I wanted to try and make them partners and the Dom/Sub was only a part of their relationship, so i'm really very happy you liked the relationship.

(The comment has been removed)

sasha_dragon January 1 2010, 14:46:01 UTC

Thank for commenting, and i'm happy you enjoyed it.