( private//personal thoughts//not hackable. )

Day 49
Your Name:  Alessa Gillespie.   Alessa Gillespie.  Alessa Gillespie.  Alessa Gillespie
Suicidal Ideation:  Help me...
Homicidal Ideation: 7/10
Amount of Sleep Last Night:  It was dark, but I saw myself talking, and I saw myself walk back to the room.  Was I sleeping?  Does it matter?
Any Lucid or Vivid Dreams? Explain.:  Hands everywhere, ( Read more... )

Day 49
Your Name:  Alessa Gillespie.   Should I introduce my goddamn imaginary friends too? 
Suicidal Ideation: Oh no, not at all.  Killing yourself is bad.
Homicidal Ideation:  I don't know.  I just don't know. 
Amount of Sleep Last Night: 10 hours.  Thanks to the Ambien.
Any Lucid or Vivid Dreams? Explain.:  I had a dream that this place was burning ( Read more... )

( Private notes to Alessa. )

( Private Letter from Alessa to her other persona's )

I have a roommate now.

Therapist, the-rapist

7706, 7+7+0+6 = 20

I don't even know anymore.   I hate not knowing what I'm doing half of the time.

Maybe I'll go outside at 4.   Depends.  

Day 48
Your Name: Alessa Gillespie
Suicidal Ideation: 9/10
Homicidal Ideation:  I don't care if anyone dies or not.
Amount of Sleep Last Night: I was out for ten hours, but I'm still tired.
Any Lucid or Vivid Dreams? Explain.:  There were ropes, and these men wearing red hoods.  A lot of chanting.
Moods Experienced Today:  Does it matter?
Mood Triggers:  ( Read more... )

7705 days.

( Private to Malaise Staff )

I don't know him. Why is he calling me an illusion? Is this a part of the therapy?

A dance today, but I don't think I'll go. Umm, have fun.