Went to a psychiatric appointment yesterday, which for some reason always makes me feel worse. I don't know what it is, whether I feel judged by my doctor or she just unnerves me or what, but I felt horrible after the appointment whereas before I'd been a bit paranoid but okay. I nearly broke down crying on the bus when I realized that one of the ( Read more... )

I went to therapy today and talked to Deborah about why I'm having so much trouble lately (with depression in general, getting through everything, and urges to self-harm [filtered post]) and she thinks that it may be linked to the fact that there's so much pressure put on me by my dad to not only complete college but succeed in every aspect of it, ( Read more... )

-cold sores erupting over my face ( Read more... )

So basically, for reasons I can't understand, I'm emotionally in a really awful place right now. Not only do I feel insecure, I'm also starting to doubt everything and getting paranoid about what I'm doing, where I'm living, and what people are thinking about me, and the slightest ambiguous comment can send me into a flurry of tears. I'm having a ( Read more... )

I had a nervous breakdown yesterday. It seems I appeared quite strung out, as Dad saw me having it and asked if I was on drugs.

I'm fine now, it was mostly a passing thing, and RENT last night was wonderful. Tomorrow is La Boheme; we're not the only people in Seattle doing this, a lady in the parking lot outside the theatre today talked to me ( Read more... )

I would've been in bed by one but I kept rolling over onto my hand and feeling the wounds protest; at midnight my fingers had oozed so much I had to change the bandages ( Read more... )

Doesn't even feel like a holiday anymore ( Read more... )

I failed two tests today, am working on a homework assignment I didn't previously know about, and am skipping a class to do it. I now feel guilty and stupid. What a supremely awful day!

This rivals Alexander and the No-Good Very-Bad Day. I shouldn't even have gotten out of bed this morning.

Either that, or I should move to Australia.

I took an eight-mile bike ride today. Normally my limit is six. I'm dying. I'm also angry at my father, because I spent four miles following incorrect directions he gave me.

As if that wasn't enough, I didn't get enough leisure time to actually get online and talk to anyone-- my brother, any of my buddies, gandsgirl who is new to AIM, no one-- because ( Read more... )