Words 17
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Karma.
It is said in Hinduism that every action that we take will have its consequences. In order for one's soul to progress through higher levels of reincarnation, one must be able to go through the obstacles sent to him or her by the higher powers. Often, faith will be send obstacles one was not able to overcome in his or her previous life. It is similar to echoes of their past mistakes and it acts in a way like a punishment of one's failure to triumph over the task before.
Sadly, at that point in her life Rachel was not one to be able to perceive the subtle twists of her own destiny, busy that she was interfering with Santana's.
Rachel spent the rest of her day feeling anxious. Her reconciliation with Santana had put on edge. She was under the impression that something important was going to happen, as if she was about to arrive at a crossroad.
She had reached a point in her relationship with Santana where the other girl was starting to trust her. That book she had let her burrow proved it. Rachel had spent her entire class exploring it. Unlike her own school material that was in the exact same state as when it came in her possession, it was strangely private. Scribbles had been made on almost every page. A few hearts, weird looking people, circles, squares, were drawn here in there. There were a few words written in graffiti-like characters: sex, hot, gorgeous, bitch, popular, damn, boring, music, cheer, and on one page a humongous "Bla, bla, bla" right beside a man with glasses who shared a vague resemblance to Santana's biology teacher.
The written conversations between Brittany and Santana at the beginning of the book were what Rachel found the most interesting. Those where Santana's handwriting was the most heavily featured were mostly snarky comments about their classmates to which Brittany's replies were marked by amusement. When Brittany was the one to start their conversations, she mostly wrote strange illogical sentences. Santana answered them by smiley drawings or by few sweet words. There were also a few compliments, references to shared memories, and small games. On the first page of the book, both of their hands had been drawn, side by side, with glittery gel-pens. These discoveries had made her feel like an archeologist. They were interesting, intriguing, filled with history and mystery.
After school Santana and Rachel left together, there was as strange feeling in the pit of Rachel's stomach. The first thing she did when she got in Santana's car was to give her back her book. The Latina just took it and threw it carelessly unto the back seat. This nonchalance was one of those many things that Rachel disliked about her but she was starting to get used to it.
"You're quite talented." Rachel said, breaking the silence. Santana scowled, seemingly confused, and glanced in her direction. "I am talking about those drawings you made in your book. It's a joke."
"Huh, okay. Definitively, not your best." Rachel blushed and shifted nervously on her seat. She was feeling uncomfortable. It was as if her old self was back in her body and she was failing at having a normal teenage interaction.
"So what do you wanna do?" Santana asked her after some time. Rachel turned towards her. She giggled when she noticed that the Latina was scrunching her face in a funny way while trying to shield it from the sun with one of her hands.
"Didn't you want to go to the park?" Santana nodded, turned towards her, and smiled.
"Yeah, we should grab something to eat before. I'm so hungry."
They drove towards the park after stopping by a coffee shop to take out some food: a salad for Rachel and a sandwich for Santana. Rachel was trying to figure out where exactly they were going. They were far away from the Latina's part of town and pretty close to her own house. She wondered why the darker girl would feel like going to a park so distant from her own neighborhood. As they were going through familiar streets, Rachel was becoming more and more aware of their destination and, suddenly, she was feeling strangely apprehensive.
"Where are we going?" She said a bit more aggressively than she intended too.
"It's just this park I used to hang out to with Brittz and Quinn before they got all boring."
A lump settled in Rachel's throat. She licked her lips and exhaled heavily. She knew where they were going. They were going to that park, that park near her house where she used to play as a child. She hadn't been there in years. She kept away from it after the Marise incident. Eventually she grew up and there was no reason for her to go back there.
When they pulled over next to the familiar place, Rachel became livid, guilt draining her blood away. Things seemed strange suddenly. She contemplated the idea that maybe Santana was playing a mind game with her. Maybe she knew…Maybe she knew all along…Maybe Rachel was the one being manipulated.
She heard Santana unbuckle her seatbelt and shuddered with terror. Then, soft tanned hands reached for her own seatbelt, freeing her from it with the small sound of a «click».
«Come…» A word whispered in her ear, escaping from a slightly giggling mouth.
Soon after, they were walking side by side towards the dreaded playground. Santana was whistling a song with an uprising beat that was making the moment grow in tension and, consequently, it was driving Rachel crazy.
"STOP IT!" She felt like shouting but she didn't. She couldn't after what had happened the previous day.
Suddenly, Santana grabbed her hand, causing her to jump.
"Oh g- Wow, someone's on edge." She mused. "Look at this"
She bent forward, pulling Rachel with her, and pointed an inscription on the underside of the slide. Rachel squinted and moved closer.
"Why is my phone number written- Oh! What? "Please call me; I'm desperate enough to pay for sex." Who wrote this? You wrote this? This is absolutely outr-"Santana stopped her rant by muffling her mouth with her hand, laughing loudly as she did so. Rachel squirmed to get out of her grip, but, with her free arm, the Latina circled her waist and pulled her flush against her chest, restraining her from moving by her strong grasp.
"Shhhh" She said before letting her hand slide off the other brunette's mouth. "It's Quinn. She wrote this just before joining Glee club. You know-" Her gaze fell on Rachel's lips and her voice dropped."You know, when you were…chasing after Finn."
Rachel held her breath, scared to move, afraid to talk. Santana glanced away, released her hold, and cleared her throat.
"I brought some weed." She murmured, taking a plastic bag out of her jacket. "This is where I did some for the first time. I thought it'd be cool if you were to do your first time here too. That's -it's the surprise I had for you yesterday."
Rachel stared at her with her mouth agape. The situation might have been endearing if it hadn't been drugs they were talking about, but this, this…
"Marijuana? Do you have any id-" Santana shushed her by waving a hand impatiently in front of her face.
"Come on. You've got to try it at least once."
After a few minutes of furious debating, Rachel inhaled for the first time the illegal substance which sent her into a coughing fit. Santana tried to calm her down by gently rubbing her back and, when Rachel refused to try it again, she insisted.
"It's your first time. It's like that for everybody." She told her soothingly.
When Rachel declined it again, she shrugged her shoulders and stoop up from their uncomfortable spot on the seesaw, joint still in hand.
"What are you doing?" Rachel asked her.
"I feel like climbing on top of those monkey bars." She replied sliding the joint into her mouth and jumping to catch hold of the first bar. She then threw herself into awkward acrobatics and, somehow, she squirmed her way up. Rachel observed the strange show with her heart stammering loudly against her chest.
"Why?" She asked, anxiety sipping into her voice. "Why would you want to get up there?"
This strange situation was starting to scare her.
"It used to be my favourite spot. I used to climb up her and watch the other children play underneath. It made me feel important." She laughed pretentiously. "I liked to sway my legs like this 'cause my mother would get all nervous about it. She'd be like:"Santanita, you're gonna fall down!" Of course, I never did."
Rachel tried to talk, but now words came out of her mouth. She could hardly breathe. How could this be happening? She had to know.
"You're too far! Come here with me. You'll see. You'll like it."
Rachel scratched her forearm nervously, her gaze dancing from side to side. How could she know? Nobody knew. She took a deep breath and walked toward the other girl. It was hard for her to climb make it to the top because her palms were sweaty and her fingers were rigid.
"You look as comfortable as a cat near water." Santana laughed at her expanse before moving to the side and patting the cold metal next to her."Come next to me."
Rachel made her way towards the other girl and, when finally sat down, she realized that her heart was racing. All she could think of was the grown beneath her, waiting for her to fall. She closed her eyes shut and tried to calm herself down. She felt Santana gently take her hand, her thumb rubbing circles against her skin.
"Are you afraid of heights?" She asked her, concerned. "Rach! You're shaking."
Santana's other hand cupped her jaw, an herbal odour bypassed her nose, and she felt soft fingers brush against her cheek.
"Look at me…" She whispered and her hot breath spread across her face.
Rachel slowly opened her eyes and fell into worried-looking pool of brown. Santana knew nothing. It was just a coincidence. Immediately, the singer's fear disappeared and she smiled. That was when she noticed how Santana's hand was suddenly stiff, how her eyes were falling again unto Rachel's lips, and how her own mouth seemed to be quivering anxiously.
Santana, she did it all the time with men. Why wouldn't Rachel play her game? She could do it too: tease her, mock her, and hurt her with no care for her feelings.
Rachel took her hand out of the other girl's tight grasp and brought it up to Santana's face. She let her fingers run across her jaw, surprised by how different it felt from touching a guy's stronger bone structure. Then, she let her thumb slide across the darker girl's bottom lip. She parted it gently from the upper one, pleased by the small gasp it drew out, before leaning in to capture Santana's mouth with her own. The Latina moaned into her kiss. The hand Rachel had left earlier cupped her other cheek, pulling her forward. It was obvious by her eagerness that she had been hoping for something like this for a while and Rachel proudly relished into her own seduction power, abandoning herself to Santana's soft desire.
When Rachel pulled back, the other girl's eyes were still closed and her cheeks were flushed. The singer chuckled at the ironic view and turned her gaze to the sky. It was almost as if a higher power was helping her with her revenge. How superstitious had she been to think the contrary…
part18