You Found Me: a Heisei Kumi Fanfic (17/19)
Author: ryosukekoibito
Pairing: Takachii, Chiitaro
Rating: R/NC-17
Warnings: Consensual sex between minors, Violence, Minor Character Death
Genre: Slice of life/Coming of age
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone. The end.
Summary: This is the story of how little Chinen Yuri grew from a young, homeless boy to the leader of a faction of a growing Yakuza group; and learned a lot about life, love, who he was, and what he wanted in the process.
A/N: So this is another instalation in my Heisei Kumi AU! You do not need to have read any of the other fics in that AU to read this one, as this one introduces the world through Chinen's eyes. If you're curious about it however, I have written 7 other fics for this AU, 3 multi-chaps, and 4 oneshots. You can find them at my Lj, their titles are: My new Family, A Kumi-cho's Duty, The Kumi-cho is...me?, Gaining Your Love, The Christmas Acquisition, Sequence of Upsets, and One of Many. Please take a look if you'd like! ALSO, if you have read some of my other Kumi fics, and are wondering where this one fits in the timeline, this one takes place a couple of months after The Christmas Acquisition, starting in the spring of 2006, and going on from there!
Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16
It didn’t take long for Chinen to decide he had to do something about his guilt. He was already unhappy, already miserable; he didn’t need to feel bad every time Takaki pressed their lips together too. He complained to Taiyo’s picture, lighting some incense and sitting at the older boy’s shrine, wondering what he could do. It only took him a few days to figure out what it was. He could just stop kissing Takaki. He could stop having sex with Takaki. Sure, they had met because they had fucked, but Takaki had told him numerous times that he liked Chinen more than just the fucking, and Chinen had come to believe his friend. Most friends didn’t sleep together, of that much he was certain, and as they were just friends, it shouldn’t be hard for Takaki to accept his decision.
Just the thought of no longer having to worry about Takaki’s hot hands on his bare skin, or his lips pressing needy kisses down his neck, made Chinen feel relieved, and it was then that he realized that this was something he really wanted to do. It strengthened his resolve, and so, only a few days after his birthday, he sat down with Takaki in their room, his mind made up. Takaki was obviously oblivious to Chinen’s thought process, the older teen just sitting there on the edge of the bed, Chinen sitting next to him, and he seemed completely at ease until Chinen declared
“Yuyan, I don’t want to have sex with you anymore.” Takaki immediately went stiff at the blunt statement, his whole body tense, and he glanced over at Chinen, his eyes wide with surprise. Chinen had expected some immediate questioning perhaps, anything but this silence Takaki was treating him to. They sat there quietly for a while, before Takaki asked
"Why?" Why? Chinen had known this would be an uncomfortable conversation, but that didn't make it any easier.
"I just...don't want to. I don't enjoy it anymore. The sex is just...not fun. I feel bad when we do it, and I don't want to associate that with you. I really want to keep being your friend, Yuyan. But I can't keep doing this."
"How..." Takaki paused, his voice holding in it a high quiver that took Chinen off guard. "How long have you felt this way, Chii? I haven't been...forcing myself on you, have I?"
"No!" Chinen put a hand on Takaki's arm, voice sharp. That wasn't at all what he wanted Takaki to think. "No, this is a recent thing. As soon as I made up my mind I came and told you. It's not a rushed decision, but I've been completely consenting whenever we fucked, I promise that." Takaki nodded, some of the fear in his expression draining away. He wasn't looking at Chinen, instead he had his eyes focused on the juncture where the wall met the floor, staring hard at that one spot.
"So what do you want from me then?" He asked. "You said you want to still be friends; but you don't want to have sex. So then what do you want? Are there any other changes you want to make?"
"I just want a normal friendship. Like Daiki and Inoo-"
"You know that Inoo is completely in love with Daiki though, right?" Takaki butt in. Chinen frowned.
"Okay. Then like Hikaru and Yabu, or something. I just want to do what normal friends do. I don't want to do anything that couples do-no kissing, or fucking-that's all."
"Right." Takaki's throat seemed tight, and for the first time Chinen began to think that perhaps Takaki was actually much more upset by Chii's declaration than he was trying to let on. Takaki sighed, and he asked quietly
"Okay...just...give me a minute, will you?"
"You okay?" Chinen frowned, letting one hand travel up Takaki's arm, concerned.
"Yeah...yeah. I'm fine." Takaki sniffed. "I just need a moment. I'm glad you told me, Chinen." Chinen pulled himself to his feet.
"Okay." He gave Takaki's hand a squeeze, and left the room, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as he shut the door. He'd done it. He didn't have to worry about the guilt anymore. He was free. It wasn't quite as elating as he'd thought it would be, but it was still definitely the right decision. It was what he needed to do, for himself.
That evening Takaki went out without him for the first time since Chinen had moved in. He grabbed an obviously-still-very-depressed-Yabu and the two of them went off into the night after dinner. Everyone seemed to be mildly confused by their departure, but none were immensely concerned. They all dispersed for the most part, Shoon and Hikaru sitting up in the kitchen, talking quietly. Chinen himself just curled up on the couch in Ryutaro's lap, and it was then that he decided to inform Ryu of the conversation he and Takaki had had earlier that day. Ryutaro was telling him about his most recent visit to see Shintaro, and Chinen waited until he was finished before he announced
"I have something to tell you." Ryu peered down at him in surprise, waiting patiently for Chinen to continue.
"You do?"
"Yes. So...d'you remember that conversation we had...when was it? Um...five or so days ago? The one about...Takaki and I." Ryutaro was visibly less happy, now wary as to what Chinen was going to say.
"Fuck, Chii. Yeah, I remember."
"Well I just thought you'd want to know that we're not fucking anymore. I broke it off with him." Chinen looked up at Ryu, excited to see what the younger boy's reaction would be. He wasn't disappointed, Ryutaro's face slowly blooming into a huge smile.
"Shit. Really? When?"
"Today. I decided to just do it." Chinen knew he was smiling back. Ryutaro wrapped his arms around Chinen, hugging him tightly, and he said
"I'm so glad, Chii. You have no idea-thank you." Chinen didn't understand it, but somehow seeing Ryutaro smile like that, and knowing how happy he'd made the other boy, made the decision seem like the best idea he'd ever had, and he knew that as long as Ryutaro kept smiling like that, he'd never regret anything.
From there the conversation drifted back off into other, less important things, and the night wore on, Chinen not keen on returning to his room and trying to figure out if he was still welcome in the big bed or not. But they both grew tired, and it didn't take long for them to start nodding off there on the couch. It was past midnight when Shoon and Hikaru roused them from their sleep, ushering them up the stairs and willing them to go and get in their beds. Chinen was just thinking that was an amazing idea-regardless of where he slept-when there was a scuffling sound coming from the front door, the knob jiggling erratically for a moment before it opened, Yabu and Takaki pouring in.
It was immediately obvious that something was off, Chinen pausing in his ascent up the stairs, while Hikaru and Shoon diverted their attentions to the new arrivals. Their movements were sluggish, especially Yabu's, the lanky teen leaning into Takaki, his eyes glassy, dried tear tracks down his cheeks. Takaki had one arm around Yabu's tiny waist, holding him up, and both Hikaru and Shoon's expressions quickly went from confused to concerned.
"Takaki-what happened?" Shoon asked, as Hikaru instead cooed softly
"Yabuchii?" Yabu made a grunting noise, a few new tears leaking from his eyes before he leaned over, vomiting violently onto the living room floor, his sick splatting in a grotesque noise as it hit, and Chinen averted his eyes, as the noxious stench of alcohol mixed with stomach acid hit his nostrils, and he had to hold back the urge to vomit himself. Chinen found himself frozen there, nearly all of the way up the stairs, and he's not the only one, Hikaru down below just standing still as Yabu continues to empty the contents of his stomach on their floor.
Takaki is still holding Yabu up, for the most part, and Shoon has the presence of mind to dash for a bucket from under the sink, but by the time he's fetched it and returned to their housemate's side the majority of Yabu's stomach's contents are no longer on his inside, instead they're down his shoes and splayed all along the living room floor. Hikaru is wide eyed, his gaze taking in everything Yabu's just dispelled from his body in a mute sort of shock. And Yabu is just crying now, tears streaming down his cheeks, his sobs sharp and loud, and he's still bent half over, facing the floor, and as he cries his body convulses, trying to still throw up a few more times, not managing to force anything else out, his stomach finally empty.
There was a heavy silence, Yabu's sobs quickly turning into little 'hic's, and deep breaths. Then, after a moment Shoon spoke, voice obviously barely controlled as he stepped around the puddle of stomach contents and maneuvered Yabu away from Takaki.
"Hikaru, please take him to my bathroom and clean him up as best you can." Hikaru nodded, his eyes wide with shock, and he's visibly upset with the state Yabu is in, but he doesn't say anything, just taking the older boy by the arm and leading him in the direction of Shoon's living quarters. It's only once Yabu is out of the room that Shoon gives any of his attention to Takaki at all, their leader treating Takaki to the most petrifying glare Chinen had ever seen. Shoon was positively livid; Chinen had never seen him so angry, and he watched as Shoon slapped Takaki harshly across the face, his fury clear in his eyes.
"What the hell, Takaki?!" Takaki wasn't looking at Shoon, his gaze on the floor. "You took him out and got him drunk?! Why? You're both sixteen, where did you even get the alcohol?" There was a silence, Shoon waiting for Takaki to talk. After a moment he prompted "Answer me."
"We were just going out to try and forget about...about all of it. We just wanted to have some fun." Takaki mumbled, Chinen barely able to hear him, straining to listen. Shoon sighed, as if too tired, and too upset to keep being angry.
"You wanted to have some fun? Getting that drunk isn't fun; it's scary. Takaki, you understand that drinking like that-" He gestured to the door that Yabu and Hikaru had disappeared through. "-kills people, right?" The sadness in his eyes was striking, and Chinen found that he too had to look away. There was a silence, and Chinen assumed Takaki must have made some sign of understanding, because Shoon continued "Just...I know how you're feeling, and I understand the appeal of trying to numb the world out for a while, but Takaki this was foolish and reckless. If something was to happen to either of you-ever, but especially at a time like this-it would be devastating for all of us. Think of the Kumi." He sighed, putting a gentle had under Takaki's chin, raising his face and forcing his gaze up.
"You're surrounded by people who care about you, you know. Please don't do things like this. You can rely on us. On me." Takaki nodded the smallest of nods, and Shoon let his hand drop, glancing again toward the door that Yabu and Hikaru had left through. "Don't worry, I'm going to chew him out thoroughly once he's sober. I'm not placing all of the blame on you, so please don't feel that way." Another small nod. It was then that Chinen decided he really should just go to bed, and he turned away, ascending the few stairs he had before him and padding as quietly as he could to the room he shared with Takaki.
He felt a slight, judging guilt pressing on him, a fear that he was the reason this had happened. That it was because of his conversation with Takaki that he'd gone out with Yabu tonight. He let out a small whine, anxious about that thought, but he didn't think he could ask Takaki, and so he would never know. Regardless, he figured he was not welcome in Takaki's bed any longer, and so he crawled into the smaller bed, the sheets cold on his skin, the mattress unfamiliar under his body, yet he managed, somehow, to fall asleep.
In the days to come Yabu and Takaki would still occasionally go out late at night, but they never returned home drunk, the way they had at the beginning of the month. Takaki was obviously cautious around Chinen, the older boy seemed to be hyper aware of any brush of their skin, and while before they'd stand practically smushed into each other's sides, now there was a measured distance, and Takaki would not touch him in any affectionate manner. It was a little bit lonely, but it was what Chinen had asked for, and he appreciated the effort. Aside from that though, nothing else changed; his nickname still fell easily from Takaki's lips, and they still could talk and smile and play games together. Overall, it was a good change, Chinen thought.
December wore on, the shops in town decorating for the holidays, Christmas in the air. Chinen was expecting them to completely ignore the holiday. He didn't really celebrate Christmas, and considering how disastrous his birthday had been he figured that December twenty-fifth would pass by unnoticed. He was greatly surprised therefore, when one evening in mid-December Shoon asked during dinner
"So...do you guys feel up for Christmas?" It was strange to hear someone talk at the table. They still were eating silent meals, the grieving having not allowed for light conversation for so long that it seemed alien to talk. Chinen didn't seem to be the only one that found it weird. Most of them were staring at their leader, fingers lax on their chopsticks. Shoon paused, and then once he realized no one was going to respond he said "I know that no one's been feeling very celebratory recently-that's why we skipped over Hikaru's birthday-" Chinen glanced over at Hikaru in surprise. He'd been completely unaware that the older boy's birthday had come and gone. "-and I was planning on ignoring mine, but well...it's Christmas so I thought I'd ask." There was a small silence before Yamada said quietly
"I...I love Christmas. If everyone is up for it, I think it would be really great to get a tree and everything." Yuto was nodding in agreement as his friend spoke.
"I want to do it!" He declared, and Yamada smiled over at him. Yuto glanced over at the empty space next to him, where Taiyo used to sit. "Besides, I think Taiyo would want us to celebrate. He always loved Christmas." Across the table from him, Daiki shrugged.
"I don't care really." Ryutaro nodded in agreement, Chinen joining in. He didn't have much of an opinion on the matter.
"We should do it." Inoo said. "I'm ready. I want..." He paused, sending a look Shoon's way. "I want to be happy about something." There were nods all around, and Shoon smiled a small smile at all of them.
"Okay." He said. "We'll get a tree tomorrow." And so Chinen came downstairs the following morning to find that while he had slept Shoon, Yabu, Hikaru, Daiki, Takaki, and Inoo had all gone out and somehow procured a real pine tree and lots of trinkets to decorate it with. The living room was abuzz with movement, everyone more alive than they'd been since Taiyo's passing, and Chinen watched in amazement for a few minutes before quickly joining in on the action, helping with stringing up lights and hanging glass baubles from the tree limbs. Takaki had to pick him up to help him reach the top branches.
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