Eighth day in Israel

[ruchel]

Today was a good day, but really hard.

First, Mati. Where to even start. I don’t know if it’s Jerusalem syndrom or what, but despite how muvh I thought she was a tznius fanatic before, now I have seen and heard things I’m not going to forget soon.

Where to start.

She is afraid and goes hysterical when I’m « not tznius ». She yells, cries... she

Comments

[schwevy]

to me, being a tznius fanatic is no cuter or indulgeable than any other unacceptable behaviour. it is just another way of defying her parents, like when she insists on being carried or talks badly about people or things, or hits people. my niece used to refuse to wear a dress, no matter how hard my sister in law tried. it is the exact same thing and it needs to be dealt with, just as you would any other behavioural issue. it is defiant toddler behaviour and it is just as deplorable as the other things we try to train out of our kids

[ruchel]

At least tznius isn't dangerous, unhealthy or forbidden, but yeah it's not good to go to excess

[schwevy]

you know, one of the things i said from the time they were little, was that my job was to help them grow up right. so, now, when they are older and they want something that is not appropriate, or have done something wrong, i know they will always respond to 'what is my job' 'would i be doing my job if i let you do so and so

[ruchel]

Do you think we should refuse to carry her, by the way? she never asks me because I'm unable to carry 16 kilos, but husband can and she knows it...

[anonymous]

I'm sorry but your daughter sounds like she's turning into a monster. I don't know if it's really defiance (although the hitting you part, and saying "shit" and "balls" is pretty awful - and where is she learning this anyway, hrm?) OR it could be brainwashing from gan ... but as someone else said, if she's this brainwashed this fast, do you really want her spending more time at such a school?

You seem very nice, but entitled and frankly really really spoiled. Perhaps seeing your daughter heading down the same track might spur you to try to grow a bit, psychologically and spiritually.

[ruchel]

A monster? woah, who are you to say this? I learned anonymous slander is one of the worst things, and as far as I can see you didn't even sign a first name.

Come to France and tell me if you can spot where she learns bad words. It's part of the culture, including the frum people. I could quote what "charedi people" have said around me, including shit, fag, bitch, slut...

Come to France also to find me a good school with our level exactly. You won't find one. So this one is the closest.

I think with all the hardships I have been through I am indeed entitled to some good things too. I know my daughter is spoiled and that's not what bothers me. As for spiritual growth, again, I am pretty proud of me (even though I guess in your circles it's not ok to be happy about it) and my rav is also pretty impressed. So yeah.. . until you tell me where you know me from, I'm not interested in mussar.

[anonymous]

The school - fair enough, I know it's hard to find the "perfect" school. But if after a few months, your 3 year old is defying you because you (who wear a sheital!) aren't tznius enough, you're going to have real problems down the road. What will you do if she says she'll only eat glatt or CY? It may well be that this is the best you can do, but as you say, you went to public school - growing up in a strictly Jewish home is worth a lot

[ruchel]

I do wear a sheitel but it does not mean I dress charedi tznius at all. As a friend told me, I'm very tznius, for European circles. In Israel? I've been called a goya and similar things