A Cost For A Cause - Chapter 11
Title: A Cost For A Cause
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU/Romance
Length: One-Shot
Pairing: Yekyu
Disclaimer: I have no authority or possession over any of the artists used in this fiction. Their names are merely borrowed and, in no way, represents them in real life. The plot belongs to me.
Summary: Sometimes he feels as if he's on cloud nine; sometimes he feels as if he's been thrown into the depths of hell. No matter where he is, he always seems to be there with him; even when it's not reality.
Is... is this another dream?
Flashing lights, booming music, unsuppressed laughter and an endless mass of bodies pressed hard against one another. How long had it been since Yesung reminisced on such a place? A place as such; an arena of life and death, survival of the fittest, unforgiving grudges and never ending blame.
No, he had never lived in a place like this, but he's seen it, felt it, always believed in its existence.
Can someone wake me up?
Confusion.
Yesung never understood the mixed feelings boiling in his veins; the pain he endured in the presence of Sungmin and the compassion he held for Sungjin couldn't compare to the confusion he experienced, yet, could not understand. What was this confusion? Had its birth simply sprung from nothing? Was Yesung delusional- or, had he forgotten something?
It's getting hard to breath...
The lights grew brighter, the music blasted louder, the laughter was uncontrollable and the bodies were squeezed so tight against one another it was suffocating. Yesung's brain was on a roll; one moment wanting to escape, one moment wondering how to endure, and lastly he wondered if he could just surrender to this suffering.
My body feels heavy...
Like a thousand pounds had been dropped on him all at once, Yesung felt a pressure that ran from his chest throughout his entire body. The people in his dream were shouting at him, he could see himself sinking into the crowd and drowning into the ground.
Will nobody help me?
He was about to explode; the blood in his veins bubbled and he felt hot all over. Calling out was not an option, he realized he had no voice in this dream. Reaching out only earned him neglect and ignorant looks; as if he were a dirty animal scorching and burning, a good show to watch.
K-kyuhyun...
Even in this dreaming state, Yesung paused to recollect what had just occurred. Did he just call out to Kyuhyun for help?
“Hyung!”
Yesung could hear the voice calling out to him; that deep, thick, soothing voice.
“Wake up!”
As hard as Yesung attempted to wake from his dream, it was to no avail.
“Can you hear me? Hyung! Wake up!”
I can hear you, Yesung thought to himself, screaming in his mind, Kyuhyun, I can't.
“Wait here! I'll go get Heechul hyung!”
N-no! Kyuhyun, don't!
There was no reply.
I have to wake up. I have to wake up before Heechul gets to me. They can't see me like this. Wake up, Kim Jongwoon! Wake up!
And so he did; his eyes ripping themselves apart. His entire body was sore, his hands were held in fists and his legs were tightly cramped together. Brushing his hair out of his eyes, he felt how each strand was damp in sweat, just like the sides of his cheeks and his forehead.
Yesung sat up, rubbing his temples with his hands.
What was that all about? He asked himself through a sigh.
When he lifted his chin, he found himself in the mirror sitting right across from the bed. I look like a mess, he scoffed, raking his hand through his wet hair, I need to stop this.
“Whatever it is that's running through your mind right now,” Yesung heard a solemn voice speak out to him, “I hope you're ready to voice it out.”
Yesung didn't bother looking over. Instead, he pulled away the blankets and slipped his feet into the slippers beside his bed. “I'm wondering how good a hot shower will feel right now,” Yesung smirked at his friend, “do you want to join me?”
Heechul narrowed his eyes, glaring at the younger man. “No.”
Yesung shrugged. “Didn't think so.”
“Hyung,” Yesung heard Kyuhyun whisper, taking a few steps with him towards the bathroom, “are you feeling alright?”
“I feel fine, Kyuhyun,” Yesung replied with a smile. “Thanks for worrying.”
Before any of the boys could get another word to him, Yesung disappeared into the restroom and closed the door behind him. Kyuhyun stood there, staring at the locked door, and furrowed his brows. Heechul glanced towards the exit, Hankyung leaning against the door frame, and bit down on his bottom lip.
“I know what you're thinking,” Heechul said through gritted teeth, “you're thinking: I told you so.”
Hankyung stood to his full height, ready to deny the accusation.
“And you were right,” Heechul spat, “you're always fucking right.”
All Hankyung could do was sigh and make his way to Heechul's side, tugging Heechul into his arms. “I'm not always right, Chul,” Hankyung whispered as Heechul nuzzled into his neck, “no one ever is.”
“I'm sorry,” Heechul apologized, “for being a pain.”
Hankyung laughed, “I wouldn't prefer you any other way. I'm a doctor for a reason, you know.”
“Just for the record,” Kyuhyun coughed, “there are limits to public display of affection.”
Heechul lifted his face to glare at the younger boy. “Why did we invite him here again?”
“Not we,” Hankyung corrected with a chuckle, “you.”
“Shut up,” Heechul pouted.
Just as the three were about leave to the room for breakfast, Kyuhyun heard some minor commotion in the bathroom. He urged Heechul and Hankyung to go ahead, insisting that he would meet them in the lounge a few minutes later.
“Tch,” Kyuhyun heard Yesung hiss behind the door.
“Are you alright?” He asked, knocking softly.
There was no reply.
“Yesung hyung?” Kyuhyun knocked again.
The door to the bathroom slid open, revealing a drenched and nearly nude Yesung. It took a five count for Kyuhyun to register that Yesung had, indeed, wrapped a towel around his waist and wasn't entirely naked. “It was you,” Yesung suddenly exclaimed, “in the end, it was you.”
“What did I do?” Kyuhyun stuttered, feeling his blood creeping to his cheeks.
Yesung tilted his head, droplets of water dripping off the ends of his hair to his shoulders. “You saved me from my dream. I called out, to many people, but only you replied. Thank you, Kyuhyun.”
“I-” Kyuhyun wanted to press further, to ask for clarification, but decided against it. “I'll always be here for you, hyung. Always.”
Perhaps it was the sincerity in the boys eyes, the innocence in his words, the caring in his tone; whatever it was, it made Yesung feel reassured and certain. He reached out and ruffled Kyuhyun's hair, pulling back just as Kyuhyun extended a hand to stop him, and laughed. “Yeah,” he nodded, making his way to the dresser, “thanks.”
For the rest of their last day at the resort, Yesung didn't feel so alone anymore.
-
“I hear Yesung hyung is moving.”
Sungmin froze in the process of scooping a spoonful of rice into his mouth. He lowered the utensil, looking up at Eunhyuk who sat right across from him. “From his family? Why? I thought he loved his family.”
“I'm sure you expected it,” Eunhyuk replied coldly, “he never does anything out of your expectations.”
Sungmin shook his head. “I don't have anything to do with this, Eunhyuk. I swear.”
“I never said you were directly involved,” Eunhyuk shrugged, “it's just... no matter what it is Yesung hyung does, in the end, it's either because of you or for you. You know that.”
“I know,” Sungmin smiled lightly, “because he cares.”
“Too much,” Eunhyuk warned, “he cares a little too much.”
Sungmin shook his head. “No, no matter how much he cares about me, it will never be enough for him. We both know that. The love he harbors is endless. There will never be enough of anything from him because he always has more to give.”
“And you take advantage of that,” Eunhyuk rose a brow, “doesn't it make you feel bad?”
Sungmin lowered his eyes, staring at the content in his plate that was nearly full. There was an abrupt stab of pain to his chest, one Eunhyuk reminded him of often.
Guilt; that was something Sungmin never learned to understand. “What about you, Eunhyuk? Do you feel bad?”
“I have nothing to feel bad for,” Eunhyuk replied simply.
Sungmin looked up, meeting gazes with Eunhyuk, and smiled. “Really? Nothing at all?”
“I know how to love,” Eunhyuk retorted, “even if it's the wrong person. I don't have to feel bad for it, Sungmin, because there's no right or wrong in love. Love is just love.”
The smile on Sungmin's lips transformed into a grin, a grin that he forcefully plastered onto his face, but it still held some sincerity in it nonetheless. “You know, you might be right about that. To someone like me, someone who doesn't believe in love, I could never understand that logic.”
“You understand it perfectly well,” Eunhyuk answered with a gummy smile, “you can't lie to me.”
Sungmin pouted, shoving the spoon into his mouth. “I need new friends.”
“Why?” Eunhyuk feigned ignorance, “I'm not good enough?”
Sungmin shook his head. “That's the problem, Hyuk. You're too good.”
-
“Hyung, Henry came back with some strange man this morning. They basically tore our house down in search of Kyuhyun. I don't think it's a good idea for you two to come back anytime soon,” Kibum monotonously groaned through the phone, “I think Henry broke down somewhere in the midst of it.”
Yesung leaned back in his seat. “I'm already on the way back and I just purchased my new place earlier today, I can't move in yet. Where do you expect me to live?”
“I don't know,” Kibum shrugged, “go to your friends house or something.”
“I can't do that, Bum,” Yesung sighed. “Did they say they were going to come back and look for Kyuhyun again? Maybe they won't-”
Kibum scoffed. “Fat chance, they're keen on finding him and they'll tear down the whole city if they have to. I was just glad mom and dad weren't home, they would have freaked out. Wookie almost started crying when they rummaged through his room.”
“Is he alright?” Yesung asked worriedly.
“He's fine now,” Kibum replied.
“Alright,” Yesung coughed, “I'll see what I can do. Take care of Ryeowook for me, alright?”
“Yeah, sure,” Kibum rolled his eyes before hanging up the line.
Heechul twisted in his seat. “I would offer for you to stay at my place, but-”
“I don't want to, anyways,” Yesung rejected Heechul's almost-offer.
Hankyung glanced at him from the rear view mirror. “How about you-”
“No,” Yesung cut him off.
“Where are you planning on staying then?” Hankyung lifted a brow.
Suddenly, the scenes from Yesung's dream flashed through in his mind. Could that have been a premonition of some kind? No, of course not. Premonitions don't exist, Yesung reminded himself warily. “I'll book a hotel for a few nights and then call Leeteuk. With his connections, I'm sure I'll be able to move into the place soon enough.”
“I don't know how he knows so many people,” Heechul cringed, “damn him for it.”
“Don't be jealous,” Hankyung laughed.
Yesung turned to Kyuhyun. “Well? Are you really planning on never returning to your agency? You'll have to go back to the states sooner or later, and it's not like you can hide from them for forever, you know.”
“Agency?” Heechul gasped. “The states? Hiding? What is he, a criminal?”
Hankyung punched Heechul on the arm. “Stop it.”
“Don't act like you don't know,” Yesung rolled his eyes. “It's impossible for any of us not to know, we're all nosy people.”
Heechul pouted. “You two kill all the fun.”
“Wait,” Kyuhyun sat up in his seat, “all of you knew all along?”
The three men remained silent.
Kyuhyun turned to Yesung. “You knew that they knew?”
Yesung shrugged.
“I-I thought,” Kyuhyun paused, “I didn't know I was that popular.”
The three men laughed. “Well then, obviously, you don't know much.” Hankyung teased. “I've been wondering how you've stayed out of the light for so long but Yesung told me you stay indoors almost everyday. You only go out when he does, or at night.”
“I'm used to staying indoors,” Kyuhyun shrugged, slightly dejected, “aish, I really didn't think any of you knew about me. Now I feel like an idiot.”
Yesung extended a hand towards Kyuhyun and shoved him lightly. “Get over it. Now, answer my questions.”
Kyuhyun grinned at his hyung. “Can I-”
“No,” Yesung firmly replied.
“I didn't even-”
“I know what you want to ask,” Yesung stated, “moving in with me isn't a problem if it's for a week or for vacation, but you're planning on staying long term. Heck, who knows if you'll ever even go back? I can't risk that.”
Heechul laughed. “What are you risking? You make it sound like he'll walk into your room at night and rape you or something. He just wants to live with you. I'm sure he's capable of helping with rent, too. Right, Kyuhyunnie?”
Kyuhyun nodded violently.
“That's not the point,” Yesung narrowed his eyes. “I'm fully capable of affording my own rent. It's just- I just- gah,” Yesung groaned in defeat, “it's just not convenient.”
“Why?” Kyuhyun pouted.
In the back of his mind, Yesung could hear himself asking the same question.
That's right, his inner voice mocked, why? Why are you afraid of him moving in with you? Why are you afraid of him getting too close? Why are you so afraid of Kyuhyun?
Yesung glanced over at the younger man, Kyuhyun's eyes gleaming and watery.
He's like a brother, Yesung's voice reminded himself, Kyuhyun said he'll always be there for you.
Yesung averted his eyes outside of his window. He could feel his heart pounding against his ribs, his lips slightly trembling with anxiety.
Why am I so scared of Cho Kyuhyun? Damn it, why am I so scared?!
“Fine,” Yesung finally decided, biting hard on his bottom lip. “You can move in with me.”
Through the reflection on the window, Yesung could see the wide grin on Kyuhyun's face. There was an elation in his chest, like the pressure from all afternoon had been lifted. Yesung felt light, he felt accomplished, he felt - could this be - glad?
“Thank you, hyung,” Kyuhyun expressed his gratitude by weaving his hand around Yesung's smaller ones. “This means a lot to me.”
Yesung retracted his hand, keeping his gaze on Kyuhyun's reflection.
“Yeah,” he mumbled. His hand felt as if it were on fire, tingling with a prickly sensation. Kyuhyun watched as Yesung glanced up at him briefly, “I'm only doing this as a favor,” he said, “for being there this morning.”
Heechul and Hankyung remained silent in the front seats.
“I told you,” Kyuhyun smiled brilliantly, “I'll always be here. Always.”
Chapter 10 | Chapter 12
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A/N: I haven't really had the time to edit this yet but I feel like it's long overdue... so, I just decided to post it. I know, I've been getting too lazy to edit my works... sorry! But college life sucks and I'm just always so tired... Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Thank you for all your supportive comments~ they really drive me to work harder! <3 to all my commentators!