Be My Everything
Title: Be My Everything
Rating: G
Genre: AU/Romance
Length: One-Shot
Pairing(s): Hanchul, slight!Kangteuk
Warning: Majorly OOC
Summary: His voice was the most beautiful hymn to his ears even though he only got to hear it once; he loved listening to him even though his voice wasn't perfect. He didn't realize until much later that, ever since he was nine, he wanted him to be his everything.
Their first encounter couldn't be considered a coincidence.
It was hard not to heed his fellow classmate any attention; Hankyung noticed how many other students swept their eyes over the boy like he was a work of art, one that they couldn't bring themselves to touch with their own tainted fingers (that were, indeed, smothered in dirt and sweets their teachers offered them).
Admiring him from afar was something Hankyung slowly grew used to over several months because he, too, was too afraid to pluck that forbidden fruit off of its branches. Not that, at his tender age of nine, he truly understood the meaning behind those words.
As his eyes followed the boy one afternoon (he was easy to find since he followed the same routines daily), an uneasiness slowly swept over him like a shadow. Watching the boy, simply watching, wasn't enough anymore. Something inside him told Hankyung that if he didn't take the initiative today then he would lose the chance to forever.
The boy was kneeling over a small patch of flowers, running the tip of his pointer finger over the smooth surface of each single petal, with a serene smile on his slim face. Hankyung bent down next to the boy, slightly startling him.
“I'm Hangeng,” Hankyung introduced himself, “but everyone here calls me Hankyung.”
The boy blinked at him slowly, tentatively, without replying.
“Do you like flowers?” Hankyung attempted asking again, scratching the back of his neck nervously.
The intensity of the boys large, rounded eyes on him as he spoke was nerve-wrecking. Hankyung, probably for the first time ever, was at a loss of what to do. His breath caught in his throat, his fingers felt stiff, and his eyes wandered around the garden restlessly.
The silence was killing him.
Suddenly, he felt the stem of a flower being tucked behind his ear, mingling with his short strands of hair.
He looked up, meeting gazes with the now grinning boy. “He-Heechul,” the boy forced off of his plump lips.
Hankyung gaped at Heechul, as he had called himself, and thought of how the boy had a beautiful voice; the sweetest voice Hankyung had ever heard. “Your voice,” Hankyung smiled, “I like it.”
Unfortunately, he never got to hear it again after that afternoon.
The next day, their teacher announced that Heechul would be absent from school to leave for surgery out of the country.
-
“He was deaf,” Hankyung remembered one of his friends, Kangin, muttering to him a month or so after Heechul's leave, “didn't you ever notice that he never spoke and never really payed attention to anyone?”
Yesung, the youngest boy of their group, poked his head out from behind his walk-man. “He couldn't,” Yesung defended the absent boy. Kangin rolled his eyes and returned to his puzzle. Yesung tilted his head to the side. “Heechullie wasn't deaf, he was hard of hearing.”
“Same difference,” Kangin sighed.
“You're just sour that Teukie won't play with you,” Yesung stuck out his tongue, “don't take it out on Heechullie.”
Kangin scrunched his nose. “You don't even know him!”
“But he gave Hannie a flower,” Yesung widened his eyes, “that means he's nice.”
Hankyung couldn't help but agree.
-
When the entire school year had passed without hearing a single word from Heechul or his parents, everyone just assumed that Heechul either never returned to the country, or that his surgery had failed in the most horrible way and he couldn't.
Hankyung, however, had differing opinions.
At least, all throughout the rest of his career at that elementary school he did.
-
For whatever reason, Hankyung never truly forgot about Heechul. Somewhere in the back of his mind, hidden under layers of other worries and issues (like paying rent and financing his education), he knew Heechul was still hiding in his thoughts. Kangin, being the one who understood him best, never let that fact slide.
“It's been eleven years,” Kangin laughed, shaking his head at his best friend playfully, “just accept it, he's not coming back.”
Hankyung took a step back, shoving Kangin aside. “What are you talking about?”
“Kangin is right,” Leeteuk nodded slightly, “It's about time you got over that deaf kid.”
As if Yesung could save Hankyung from his dilemma, Hankyung shot the man a pleading look. Sensing the sudden pressure piercing through the back of his head, Yesung turned around in his seat and peered over at his friends. “I'm with them on this one, Hannie,” Yesung smiled apologetically, “it really is about time you moved on.”
Hankyung pursed his lips, contemplating his friend's argument. After a moments worth of thinking, he nodded to himself and sighed, falling back into the couch beside Yesung. “You guys are right,” Hankyung groaned, “I give up on waiting.”
But who was he kidding?
No matter how hard he tried, he knew he wouldn't be able to. His friends knew this, too.
-
Hankyung was fast-walking (more like making a mad dash) to his next class, having gotten out of bed much later than planned, when he spotted a figure bending over a patch of flowers and stoking each petal with the tips of his fingers. In the shadow of his memories, this was a very familiar action.
“Excuse me?” Hankyung coughed, bending beside the figure.
The figure jumped, startled by Hankyung's sudden appearance. He blinked at Hankyung slowly, the same way Heechul did the first time he approached him, with the same rounded eyes.
“I'm Hangeng,” Hankyung introduced himself with a shy laugh, “but everyone calls me Hankyung.”
The boy smiled, the corners of his lips twitching with what seemed to be excitement. He immediately plucked a small flower out of the dirt and tucked it behind Hankyung's ear, patting his head softly.
“I'm Heechul,” the boy introduced himself fluently, “long time no see. Your greeting hasn't changed, I see.”
Hankyung stood to his full height, Heechul following his example. He was dumbfounded, once again at a loss of what to do. He found him, he actually found Heechul. “D-do you remember me?”
“Did you recognize me?” Heechul asked in return, his eyes widened in amazement, “but how? It's been at least a decade since I last saw you.”
Hankyung never made it to class. Instead, he spent the rest of the evening in Heechul's company, speaking of the past and wondering about the future. They didn't need to speak about the present, they couldn't, because Hankyung was drowning in it.
-
“He speaks a mile a minute!” Hankyung excitedly exclaimed to his friends, “You won't believe it! He's amazing; his smile, his eyes, the way he speaks, his voice is just-”
Yesung laughed. “Yes, we get it, you're infatuated with him.”
“Infatuated is an understatement,” Kangin shook his pointer finger, “he's obsessed.”
“Am I the only one having trouble accepting the fact that he actually found him?” Leeteuk asked, leaning back in his seat, “it's like they were fated to be together or something.”
Leeteuk's voice, for the first time in their twenty years of company, sounded like music to Hankyung's ears.
-
One day (Hankyung was unsure whether he should label it a fortunate or unfortunate day), Hankyung caught Heechul just as he was heading into one of the buildings near their university campus. He immediately sprinted towards him, calling out his name, but Heechul didn't seem to hear.
He witnessed Heechul turning a corner into a room and followed behind him. Just as he was about to step in, he stopped in his tracks.
“I-it h-huhrts today,” he could hear a familiar voice stuttering. There was an odd thickness to this voice, but it was still recognizable. It was Heechul.
Hankyung peered around the corner of the frame of the door; sitting on one end of the table was Heechul, on the other end was a doctor. “Don't speak. Have you been abusing the use of your hearing aids?” The doctor questioned with a serious tone, spelling each word out slowly with his lips.
After Heechul finished reading the movement of the doctors lips, he shook his head. No, he gestured with his hands.
“Don't lie to me, Heechul,” the doctor warned, “this won't work if we're lying to each other.”
Heechul furrowed his brows, refusing to read the doctors lips any further.
The doctor reached over the table and lifted his face by the chin. “Let's try this again, Heechul. Have you been over-using your hearing aids? Your voice seems to be strained, as well. Have you been speaking out of proportion?”
Heechul looked away for a five count before nodding slightly.
“What did we tell you, Heechul?” The doctor sighed, “Your surgery years ago failed to recover your hearing entirely and affected the Eustachian tube negatively. You're lucky the invention of hearing aids was created soon enough, so, you can hear but you must not abuse them!”
Hankyung felt his spine stiffen, his hands fisting into balls, at every word.
I just wanted to talk to him, Heechul insisted through the motion of his hands.
The doctor frowned visibly. “If you damage your ears any further by using these instruments without proper management, you won't ever be able to talk to him again. Have you considered that?”
Heechul parted his lips to speak, as ironic as it was, because he wanted to retort, but he couldn't. He knew the doctor was right.
Something inside Hankyung jolted; almost like a sharp pain, but it wasn't just pain, it was a bittersweet pain. Although he only heard and understood the doctors side of the conversation, he was able to fill in the blanks; the words Heechul couldn't verbalize but spoke in his heart. The unsaid words.
“Come back later this afternoon,” the doctor said as he handed the hearing aids back to Heechul, “we'll see what the rest of the results say about your condition.”
-
A week down the road, Yesung was glowering at the teacher gesturing wildly at the front of class, hiding behind his ultra large scarf and skipping down the list of songs on his iPod. He lifted a single brow, contemplating with himself, before setting his electronic down on the table as he turned to his hyung.
“Remind me again why I'm here with you,” Yesung tilted to his right, whispering into Hankyung's ear. He felt as if the slightest movement would break the absolute silence of the class.
Hankyung simply shushed him with a finger, returning his full attention on the teacher.
Yesung sighed. As much as he wasn't enjoying the lesson, he was actually processing everything that was going on and picked up a lot of the signs. Unfortunately, that's how his brain worked: without his own permission.
-
“Hey, Teuk, have you seen Hankyung?”
Leeteuk swerved his office chair around, turning to face Kangin irritably. “What?”
Kangin mindlessly pointed to his other side, his eyes glued to the research paper he was typing away on the computer.
Heechul was standing there, with a notebook in hand. Heechul lifted the notebook and pushed it towards Leeteuk, the notebook reading: Have you seen Hankyung around?
“Uh,” Leeteuk thought aloud before shaking his head subtly, “No, I don't think so, Heechul-sshi.”
Pulling the notebook back, Heechul smiled before revealing his new note: Alright then. Thank you!
“Wait!” Leeteuk reached out and grabbed Heechul just as he turned on his heel. “Don't you have his number?”
Heechul nodded, but shook his head again soon after. Leeteuk simply blinked at him. Heechul laughed and flipped to another page in his notebook.
He told me I'm not allowed to call him anymore.
“Why don't you text him then?” Leeteuk asked, slowing down his mouthing when he realized Heechul was staring hard at his lips.
Heechul scribbled in his notebook again.
He never replies.
Kangin laughed. “Hankyung doesn't like texting, Teuk; especially when he's busy. If you ever cared, you would have known.”
“I do care!” Leeteuk defended himself, holding a hand against his heart. “He replies to me. I think he just doesn't care about you enough to make you an exception.”
“He replies to you because you're annoying,” Kangin rolled his eyes. He turned to Heechul, who stood there idly throughout their argument. “I hear he's taking some class with Yesung lately. You could stop by our place later tonight if your business with him is urgent.”
Heechul narrowed his eyes, reading Kangin's lips, and shook his head.
“Just come by,” Leeteuk smiled, his famous dimpled smile, “he'll be glad to see you.”
Before Heechul could reject their offer again, Kangin snatched his notebook and printed their address on a fresh page. “Six in the evening will be good,” Kangin mouthed while looking up at Heechul briefly, “he should be back by then.”
-
Hankyung was entirely speechless when he returned back to his shared apartment to find Heechul napping on the couch in the living room. After a long night of studying sign language the night prior, keeping Yesung up with him, he decided that treating his dongsaeng to dinner was all but proper.
Unfortunately, that led to them going out to a game arena and him coming home several hours too late.
He tapped Heechul on the shoulder, shaking him lightly.
“Stop it!” Leeteuk hissed from the hall, “he just fell asleep not long ago.”
Hankyung immediately pulled his hand back. “How long has he been here?”
“Since six?” Leeteuk shrugged.
Hankyung glanced at the clock on the wall. “He's been here for nearly five hours?! Why didn't you call me?!”
Leeteuk glared at the younger man. “Heechul wouldn't let me. Apparently, you told him he's not allowed to call.”
Hankyung swallowed his following retort, which was mostly an insult, when he remembered that he had instructed Heechul as so. But it's for his own good, he thought to himself.
Yesung returned from his room and joined them in the kitchen. “We went out to dinner and some games after class.”
“Class?” Leeteuk lifted a brow, “what class?”
“Sign language,” Yesung groaned, “for Heechullie, I'm assuming.”
Leeteuk laughed, lifting his cup to his lips. “Does Heechul even know sign language? He's been writing notes to me all evening.”
“He does,” Hankyung assured, “it's 'cause you don't know sign language.”
Leeteuk pursed his lips, a bit offended by the younger mans words, but accepted it because it was true nonetheless. There was a stirring in the living room and the three boys averted their eyes from each other to the waking form on the couch.
Upon seeing Hankyung, Heechul immediately stood with a grin on his face. “Y-you're back!” He stuttered a little, the thickness in his voice still present, as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and made his way to the kitchen.
Hankyung nodded. Yesung and Leeteuk slowly made their exit.
“Wher-”
Hankyung held both of his hands out before him, motioning for Heechul to stop just about two feet away from himself. Heechul's eyes widened, however impossible it seemed, as he blinked at the other man cluelessly, garnering a chuckle from him.
I don't want to hear you speak. Hankyung gestured.
Heechul pouted, despite the surprise of his new discovery. When did Hankyung learn sign language?
I want you to just listen- no, I mean, watch.
Heechul stabbed his hands and his waist, lifting a brow mischievously as Hankyung fidgeted around awkwardly with his hand signs.
Hankyung took a deep breath, looking straight into Heechul's eyes. It was as if Heechul had the ability to shock him with just a look, an innocent look, because Hankyung could feel the tip of his fingers tingling nervously. I don't need to hear you speak and I don't want you to use your hearing aids anymore.
Taking a step forward, Heechul lifted his hands and gestured them in reply. Why? I thought you said I had a nice voice; I thought you liked my voice.
I do, Hankyung laughed, but we don't listen with our ears. That's old school.
Heechul scoffed. What do you listen with then? Your eyes?
Hankyung pouted before taking Heechul's hand and lifting it to just above his heart. Heechul could feel every pump, every thump, of Hankyung's beating organ; it beat hard against his chest, it felt as if Hankyung's heart would rip through his rib-cages at any moment.
My heart doesn't listen to anything but you.
Heechul pulled his hand back, staring hard into Hankyung's eyes. And your ears? What are you going to do with your ears?
“Ears? What ears?” Hankyung laughed aloud.
Heechul pursed his lips, reaching out and tugging hard on both of Hankyung's ears, pinching them slightly.
“Okay, okay,” Hankyung hissed, “I was just joking.”
Heechul reluctantly released the man.
They're yours, Hankyung gestured with a grin, leaning over and throwing his arms around Heechul's shoulders, “I'll do whatever you want me to do with them.”
Heechul smiled, wrapping his arms around Hankyung's waist and settling himself in the other mans embrace. They stood there, in the most rhythmic silence, until they were interrupted by muffled giggles in the hall nearby. Heechul couldn't hear them, but Hankyung heard every last breath they took.
“Eavesdropping isn't very nice,” Hankyung scowled.
Heechul hadn't noticed that Hankyung was speaking, still resting securely in his arms.
“Where did Hankyung learn to be so cheesy?!” Hankyung heard Kangin snorting in the distance. “Geez, I thought he was the most sensible one in the four of us.”
Hankyung rolled his eyes, feeling a blush creep to his cheeks. “Go away!”
Yesung leaned against the wall, trying to support himself from falling over. “I'm actually glad he took me to sign language lessons with him now. Otherwise, I would have missed all of this.”
“That's for sure,” Leeteuk chuckled.
Just as Hankyung was about to forcibly make the three boys go away, he felt Heechul growing heavier in his arms. He lifted Heechul's face by the chin, looking down at his beautiful face, and it took him a five count to realize Heechul had fallen asleep.
There was a clinking at the sink; the three boys were now fully in his company.
“It's past Cinderella's bed time,” Kangin smirked, “maybe a kiss will wake him up?”
Hankyung lifted Heechul in one swift movement, holding him bridal style, as he carried him towards his own room. “Cinderella needs his beauty sleep,” Hankyung retorted, “so does his prince.”
“Did he just call himself a prince?” Yesung scrunched up his face, “typical narcissus.”
Leeteuk shook his head and headed for his room, Kangin following closely behind him. Yesung watched his friends leave him one by one, sitting all alone in the darkness of the kitchen. As he was returning to his room, he briefly peered into Hankyung's room as he was passing by.
“It's okay now,” he could faintly hear Hankyung whispering against Heechul's cheek, “I'll be your ears from now on and you, you can be my everything.”
-
A/N: So sorry for any mistakes! Again, I'm too tired and lazy to edit... but the idea hit me so sudden and hard that I had to write it out and post it before I end up deleting all of it because I always hate everything that I write... Hope you all enjoyed it! :)