if i talked about life, tom would get mad because i would give all the details

[rosenbaum]

The one time I didn't utilize the services of a hooker, I didn't end up in a Ramada Inn with my hands tied to the bedposts with my socks, but if I had spent money on this hooker, I probably did end up in the neighborhood pool of one of those subdivisions comprised of boxy little houses that all look the same. It could have happened in late October

Comments

[jtimberlake]

1. Britney
2. Janet
3. ...Alyssa Milano???

[rosenbaum]

Are you listing hookers or am I supposed to guess the lie, because I would opt out of all three of them.

[ksackhoff]

This is fantastic. I'll play.

1. I prefer cats to dogs.
2. My career has made me into a nicer person.
3. I'm afraid of heights.

[rosenbaum]

Isn't it a fun game? All right, number two sounds too random to be made up, everybody's afraid of heights, and who prefers cats to a dog? Dogs fetch and you can just let them outside and avoid the whole litterbox thing. I'm going with the first for the lie. Am I right?

[ksackhoff]

You are! My dogs would not let me become a cat person even if I wanted to.

I think #2 would be a lie for most people, but I got into acting right out of high school, and back then I was pretty much a gigantic bitch.

[rosenbaum]

That's how I figured it was true. I figured that a career like this would make most people assholes and it was way too randomly thought up for it not to be a lie. I'm not a photographer-beater or anything, but I think some of us do have a little ego. I think you have to have it, honestly, to deal with all the negative feedback.

[caleb_lane]

Vanilla Ice. What were people thinking?

[rosenbaum]

I don't think it deserved a Grammy or anything, but I really don't think it's deserving of a slot that high. I can think of a trillion songs worse than that one.

[behrjas]

Oh my god, I haven't heard that Eddie Murphy song in years. And since when is 'We Built This City' one of the worst songs of all time? On that list I only have Vanilla Ice, so I'll have to snatch the other ones; you know how much I love bad music.

Do you know how hard it is to come up with two truths and one lie, when you aren't prepared?

[rosenbaum]

The list doesn't have a lot of credibility because there are a ton of songs on it that I disagree with. I Wanna Sex You Up? No. It has no place on the list. Since you love bad music, I'll upload the other forty songs for you.

Yes. Everybody is asking to guess mine and I can't even come up with one thing about myself, true or false.

[behrjas]

Oh man. I Wanna Sex You Up is one of the best songs ever. How can that be a bad song? I wonder what kind of pretenious little shit wrote that list. Will you really? I'll download everything I don't have. Don't do it all at once, that'll take forever.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I hope that doesn't mean we're boring or anything.

[rosenbaum]

I will. Look, Jason, NKOTB is on the list. We need to start a revolt. I guess I can do it like this. Here is the list and you can pick out which numbers you want me to upload for you. Copasetic?

We're not boring, we're just not creative. I'm coming up with lies and they're all like, I am a hermaphrodite. And anyone can use google and figure out that's not true.

[degeneres]

I'm looking forward to our next adventure, homeslice.

You keep me sane.

[rosenbaum]

Let's go on vacation. I'm thinking a tour of America seeing the Biggest ______ In the World. Ball of twine, peanut, pumpkin, whatever. Are you in?

[degeneres]

I've always wanted to see the world's biggest frying pan. I am so in, you don't even have to ask me twice.

[rosenbaum]

Wonderful. I want to see the world's biggest menorah, if that exists, but we'll probably have to go to Israel for that. Does this trip span across the world?