if i talked about life, tom would get mad because i would give all the details

[rosenbaum]

The one time I didn't utilize the services of a hooker, I didn't end up in a Ramada Inn with my hands tied to the bedposts with my socks, but if I had spent money on this hooker, I probably did end up in the neighborhood pool of one of those subdivisions comprised of boxy little houses that all look the same. It could have happened in late October

Comments

good point, my next update will be about nothing but graphic sex

[rosenbaum]

I will not repeat after you. You may have been really annoyed with the bell, but after a while, you seemed to think it was pretty funny that I kept making you bend over. Don't lie.

You're right, I would. Here, this song was on the list, too. Have this one in your head instead. It's my dedication to you.

you can deny evidence on video.

[rosenbaum]

Good for you, I'm feeling much better now. I got another shot yesterday and I woke up feeling like a trillion bucks. Which means that you can begin paying me back now. And I'm sure you're making a long list of evil things to do to me, but please remember that I love that kind of thing.

You don't like eggs and even if I'm wrong, you understand that I had to pick this answer. Of course not. The sound track is all Run DMC.

[bryhoward]

Ah, the good ol' yawn trick. I'm a big fan of the pretending-like-there-is-something-in-my-eye trick. I've never actually done it, but I love it all the same. Like I remember some episode of The Jeffersons where... oh, I can't even remember her name. Well, she went on a date and kept doing all of those dating "tricks" by accident, and the guy was all, "Gimme some sugar, baby!" And then she probably smacked him upside the head with her purse, at least I hope she did. I don't know, it's really great and funny in my head.

Limp Bizkit! God I almost forgot about them. Now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day. Thanks for that.

[rosenbaum]

Is that sort of like the eyelash trick? I remember something like that, I think. There's something in your eye, it's an eyelash, boy picks it out and you have a really intimate moment where you blow and make a wish? My tricks are usually like, oops, I accidentally fell and accidentally grabbed your boob. Oh, is that what purses are for? How come on television, people get smacked with a purse, but in real life, I get kicked in the shins?

That's because they're awful and they deserve to be forgotten about. Notice how no one is insulted that they are on this list.

[bryhoward]

Yeah, something like the eyelash trick. It's more like, "Oh darn, something's in my eye, could you look and see if you see anything?" And then when he's right in front of you and looking into your eyes, you give him a big sloppy kiss. I knew a girl who used to carry a brick in her purse for special occasions like when someone would pull some of your accident tricks. So maybe getting kicked in the shins is better than getting smacked in the face with a brick...?

And what in God's name are you sticking in your ear in that icon? Or do I want to know?

[rosenbaum]

That's so cute. Help me find some chick to practice that move on since you apparently aren't available, boo. Just not the girl who carries the brick in her person. Ouch, much?

I think at that point, I was so drunk I stopped remembering everything that happened that night.

[zdeschanel]

i thought you were going to do it at tim horton's too.

[rosenbaum]

You people break my heart, I do have some class. That icon is the best thing I've seen all month.

make 'em say uhhhhh

[cassidykatiee]

honestly michael, i was a bit disappointed my shoving things in the ass quote never came up. that's something an escort would say, you know.
but really, who climbs into a pool when it's this cold out? i would've died from hypothermia or whatever it is when you get too cold, get frost bite, and die.

#2 is the best one on the list.

nananananananana

[rosenbaum]

Man, I totally forgot about it. Next time I go to update, please remind me and I swear that'll make an appearance. I really don't know. This isn't anything I actually did, I just wanted to make people lie to me. Hahaha, you haven't seen the whole list, though.

Re: nananananananana

[cassidykatiee]

well okay it's the best one on this part of the list. that being said, whether you had done this or not still...just thinking about it made me shiver. sooo cold what in the world is that about. btw, jared said ackles is having a halloween party and i must be in attendance. i expect to see you there too, dressed as a slutty nurse as well okay. okay.

[rosenbaum]

Jared told me about the party a week or so ago and I was like, solid, how many dates can I bring. If you weren't probably bringing the boyf, I would invite you to be one of the many lucky people who gets to hang on to my arm, but alas. I guess I really will have to buy a hooker for this event.

[j_rhysmeyers]

For some reason, I went into this thinking you may have hypothetically made a hooker in an empty pool and all I could think was, "that must be extremely uncomfortable." Not that hypothetically making a hooker in freezing water is much better but at least it makes more sense. Personally if I were her, hypothetically speaking of course, I'd have jumped out of the car if someone took me to an abandoned subdivision. I've seen Dexter. I know what happens next.

[rosenbaum]

I mean, it wasn't abandoned perse, the pool was just closed for the winter and it was like, three in the morning, so there wasn't anyone awake to hear her scream, if she had to. But consider the choice of profession here. If I was a hooker, I'd just assume that it was only a matter of time before something awful happened. Anyway, three things about yourself, please. I want to guess the lie.

[j_rhysmeyers]

1. I have a heart condition. 2. I can play the saxophone. 3. I've been questioned for suspected terrorist activity.

[rosenbaum]

I don't care if I'm wrong about the lie, I really do hope that number three is true, and if it is, I'm jealous. I go with, two. One's vague enough that you can say it and go, yes, my heart condition is that it's broken.