*meep!*

[rose_in_shadow]

Awhile back, I was googling for some tips on creating a good opening chapter and happened to come across Flogging the Quill, the blog of a freelance editor who takes the first 16 lines of your novel and will tell you if it was compelling enough to turn the page. So I thought it couldn't hurt and submitted mine and sat back to wait

Comments

[duffymoon]

Just a quick note to say, out of general politeness, that I've added you as a friend. I did this primarily on the basis of some general interest overlap (namely: MVNU and Nanowrimo) and, naturally, because a cursory review of your LJ tells me I'd likely enjoy reading it regularly.

Hope that's okay.

[rose_in_shadow]

Sure, the more the merrier! :)

[faenlhin]

...

Is it awful of me to immediately have noticed the critic's badly written sentence, "What does it matter when or how she was taught her numbers, it's enough for the reader to know that she does." She does what, sir? Maybe he needs some clarification! I think he left out "taught to write her numbers."

There is something in me that always feels the need to reverse-nitpick the nitpicker. I am also a veteran of several vicious and/or precise English teachers. Anyway, whatever, I agree with the positive comments - very intriguing character!

[blindaurora]

I thought your first 16 lines were very intreguing. I agree with the comments the reviewer made, mostly about the girl writing in the dirt, it took me a nanosecond or five to figure out what was going on, not good for the first page. But, but the point of this comment was to say, you'd better publish this in print or on the interweb, because I am now wholely intregued! I would read on to the end of the book immediately if permitted! I think there is great potential for a lovely character and story and I want to know what you did with that potential.