First of all,
this website is inadvertently hilarious. Or frightening/infuriating, depending on your mood.
But!
This page of the website is the best. Seriously.
I want to write a book that meets ALL these criteria:
(
hidden behind a cut for length and really quite putrescent offensiveness, as yr. humble scribe toils to devise the sort of book that would give these people 5 hemorrhages apiece )