hey. wassup havent done this thing in 23 centuries since the mighty creatures such as jesus "iron pecs" christ prowled the earth ( Read more... )

hey y'all, i'm fucking paula deen.

as in i'm having sex with her.

hey.
lately i have been feeling really bad all of the time.

i would totally talk to my grandma right now if she were alive. she was pretty cool and when she was in a nursing home she would tell everyone to sneak in wine and cigarettes to her.

i'm feeling: kind of satisfied. its study hall everyone! there are about 32000 empty bottles that used to be inhabited by fluids lying around my room. it smells funky in here ( Read more... )

okay guys. so you didnt like my rendition of respect, whatever. i see how it goes. okay, speaking of aretha, I WISH MO'NIQUE WAS MY BEST FRIEND SERIOUSLY she is on my mind alot. shes so cool and pretty and fat-tabulous. seiosuly, shes GORGEOUS and she flaunts it even though shes like 300 pounds. she wears it well. and her eyelashes are curly and ( Read more... )

WOOP! JUST A LIL BIT. JUST A LIL BIT. JUST A LIL BIT. JUST A LIL BIT.

sockit to me sockit to me sockit to me sockit to me sockit to me SOCKIT TO ME SOCKIT TO ME SOCKIT TO ME

also:
WOOP

it would be hard to be around tables.

HEY GUYS ITS NADIA, REPORTING FOR DUTY IN BOARDING SCHOOL. um. it kind of sucks. but some of it doesnt. i dunno. you dunno. we dunno. poo dunno. DUN-NO. hahaha doctor dyke. yeah well, SNOOP DOGG, OUT.

OHHHH shitson. WELL, I'M LEAVING WILLIAMSBURG TOMORROW. 7 years, williamsburg. i'm gonna miss the way you never remembered to put the toilet seat down. hey, dudes. have you ever not looked before you sat on the toilet and then the whole toilet seat is down and its weird cause you didnt expect to be sitting on like, a chair. i have ( Read more... )

HALLO, here i am. i dont really have anything to say, except "MUSTARD FLAVORED KETCHUP". wacky. wild. zany. freaky. kooky. cookie. meandering. jug of water. plentiful. plank. assless chaps. frankensense. mur. prawns. chuckle. episcopalian. dem franchize boys ( Read more... )

okay. its four in the morning. i cant sleep. there is a weird smell in my room that smells A BIT LIKE someone has been cooking urine in a frying pan. its possible though, that i'm completely imagining this smell! so i cant sleep because i half slept from 2-3, but this smell woke me up and then i started thinking and it made me nervous and thinky. ( Read more... )