Every Section Of This Entry Ends In Brackets. (It's Just An Observation.)

[rionaleonhart]

I have a ridiculously overactive conscience. My DVD of Derren Brown's specials didn't work properly, so I took it back to HMV and exchanged it. When I got home, I discovered a hair in my disc tray and realised that the damage had been caused by that, rather than a fault that had been present when I bought the DVD.

So I actually called up HMV and

Comments

[vzg]

So I actually called up HMV and asked whether they wanted me to reimburse them for the exchange.

Awww. (More customers like that would be awesome, actually, rather than the "wah wah wah you're doing it wrong also I left a huge mess behind" customers and the "it was absolutely like that when I got it, and I know because I didn't check even though you told me to twenty times" not-exactly-customers).

I actually think it would be genuinely awesome to gift him with a ukulele! If nothing else, he might be in an interview one day and say, "Most of my fans send me, you know, flowers or packs of cards. Some send stuffed animals but I never know what to do with them. Actually, this one fan- she sent me a ukulele. It was utterly bizarre. But, you know, I suddenly had a ukulele, so I figured I might as well learn how to play." And you will know he was talking about your ukulele (assuming you are watching/reading the interview).

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, man, I actually really want this. I want to be the weird-in-a-nice-way fan Derren Brown mentions in an interview some day. Although I don't actually know where I'd have to send it if I wanted it to reach him, which is a bit of a problem, and I'd have to, y'know, buy a ukulele. Also, this is an absurd plan and I cannot seriously consider it.

I think a Lanikai LU-21 would be nice: attractive and fun to play without being ridiculously expensive.

[rionaleonhart]

Or perhaps a cheap Mahalo? I mean, they're not great instruments, but they're not unplayable, and he could get an idea of whether he liked ukuleles and upgrade if he wanted. Plus, in that case, I won't have wasted too much money if it never reaches him or something.

Okay, self, you should probably stop thinking about this.

[vzg]

I know nothing about ukuleles except that they sound cool and have a neat name, so I can give no further advice.

*plants strange ideas in your head!*

[apiphile]

I feel that you SHOULD send him a ukulele, which is probably why he mentioned that in his book in the first place; he's waiting for someone to understand the secret message and send him an uke, and then he will take that person on as his apprentice.

[rionaleonhart]

You people should not be encouraging me! Although, yes, he probably could have implanted a subliminal 'BUY ME A UKULELE' message in his book. I have no idea how many of my thoughts at the moment are my own and how many were deliberately planted there by Derren Brown.

[wanttobeatree]

I think you should decorate a ukulele, so it looks suitably I Use My Powers For Good Not Evil (But I Could Change That Any Day), and then send it to him.

Also, speaking as a former employee of HMV, whilst, yes, you were ridiculous and they were probably laughing at you silently, it's quite nice to have customers be insane in a considerate way.

[rionaleonhart]

Hee! That's a rather nice idea. I'd probably have to get someone else to do the decorating in that case, though, as I have little faith in my ukulele-decorating skills.

That's good! I suppose that at least I provided some amusement, if nothing else.

[wanttobeatree]

I think you should paint it black and write MWUAHAHAHA on it. It would express his inner evil-overlord quite nicely. Whilst also being a ukulele, and thus innately cheerful and lovely. LIKE DERREN.

[rionaleonhart]

You are a genius. Derren really is an evil ukulele in human form.

[rionaleonhart]

Overactive conscience high-five! (With a non-drinking high-five on the side.) I like to think that our ridiculous guilt improves the world at least a little bit.

[invisiblecake]

Yeah! I was at the grocery store once, checking out at one of those self-service machines, and tjhe guy in front of me had left his change, and I didn't know what to do so I ust stood there and stared at it for a couple minutes until someone saw me and got the guy to come back and take it.

[wolfy_writing]

I once walked up to an ATM with no one in front of it and money sticking out. I didn't even see anyone walking away.

It turns out that if you freeze up and stare at it long enough, it will take the money back (and hopefully keep track of the fact that whoever-it-was didn't actually take it).

[dracothelizard]

Derren Brown being Dumbledore makes sense, as Dumbledore is als crazyterrifying AND ridiculously adorable.

And Dumbledore probably has access to Time Turners anyway.

[dracothelizard]

Also, I once read about a group of fangirls who gave an actor a package filled with sextoys, so a ukelele is just normal compared to that.

[rionaleonhart]

Exactly! Brown and Dumbledore are clearly exactly the same person.

From Derren's book:

Gifts have arrived too creepy to mention here for fear of encouraging the senders, but if I whispered to you the things that were sent, I guarantee you would feel quite out of sorts all day.

I am enormously curious. But, yes, a ukulele may seem fairly pedestrian in comparison to whatever mysterious things he has already received.

[dracothelizard]

I definitely don't want to know what deranged fans have sent to someone like Derren Brown.