Or Write My Essays For Me; That Would Work As Well.

[rionaleonhart]

Everyone seems to be feeling a bit miserable at the moment, and I'm no exception (WHY SCHEDULE THREE ENGLISH ESSAY DEADLINES FOR THE SAME WEEK, UNIVERSITY, THAT IS JUST STUPID). What I would really, really like you to do, if you're feeling up to it, is write hilarious banter-filled ficsnippets or bizarre crossovers or ridiculous limericks or

Comments

[reipan]

Does it have to be fandomy? Not that I'm complaining about the fandom-ness, it just makes it a bit difficult for anyone who doesn't write much in fandom to contribute.

[rionaleonhart]

...Actually, it doesn't really have to be fandomy. A basketful of kittens, for example, is good for any situation.

[reipan]

Except a driving test, I suppose.

[rionaleonhart]

It depends on the application of the basketful of kittens. If your driving instructor is looking disapproving, you can distract him/her with the basketful of kittens. That's an automatic extra ten points. Or whatever they use to score driving tests. I don't know.

[dracothelizard]

See, now I'm quite curious as to what your essay-topics are.

"draw a technicolor dreamcoat on Pyramid Head"

NO. NO. NO.

"He's up to something," Richard said.
"He's always up to something," James replied. "It's Jeremy."
"This time it's different. First, he invited us to his place where both our cars get flat tyres and he says we can spend the night, even though he doesn't have a guestroom, so we were forced to get a taxi, and then the next day he asked us about motorbikes. Something's wrong."
James pondered this for a while. "Perhaps he's getting senile," he suggested.

Meanwhile, Jeremy was crafting another plan. Third time was the charm, and it had bloody well better be in his scheme to get Richard and James to join him in a threesome.

And then Top Gear Dog appeared and was adorable.

[rionaleonhart]

I love that both of their cars get flat tyres! Yes, Jeremy; all good plans for seduction begin with 'Right; first I'll put a stinger across my driveway...'

[dracothelizard]

I think everybody should just be happy there wasn't a hammer involved. Yet.

[wolfy_writing]

That sends my brain flashing back to the Top Gear Africa bit, where Jeremy went for Oliver with a hammer.

Which made my mind go Jeremy/Richard/Oliver, but Richard wouldn't let Jeremy touch Oliver for the life of him, so that wouldn't really work.

[m31andy]

And I now, inexplicably have Pyramid Head dancing around in a technicolour dream-coat and singing "Close Every Door To Me". Which is, frankly, disturbing.

(Though I also have a lingering disturbing thought from the film Silent Hill - is Pyramid Head supposed to be that hot? Or is it just me???)

Erm. Something to cheer people up... Hmm.

So, he was apparently a copper of some kind. A great big, chain-smoking, camel-coat-wearing, whisky-drinking, subordinate-punching detective.

Jeremy shrugged. How hard could it be?

[rionaleonhart]

If your life were important, I
Would ask 'Will you live or die?'

The Creepy Chorus of Rainbow-Clothed Children would fit rather well into Silent Hill, actually. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la...

(Pyramid Head attracts enormously alarming Mary Sue fanfiction. I read one two and a half years ago and the images from it are still burned horribly into my mind.)

[wolfy_writing]

"James," Jeremy adjusted his watch, "shut up." He held the misaligned watch in James's face

[proleptic_fancy]

Hee! That was the first thing that popped into my mind when I was watching that. They're such an old married couple sometimes.

[wolfy_writing]

Thanks. I like the idea of James being horribly smug about leaving Jeremy Clarkson flabbergast. And the whole realm of, "Or what? You'll snog me again?"
"Don't tempt me," which would ensue.

[culf]

I can't believe you killed Oliver! *hates you* (okay, not really, just a tiny bit) *sits down next to Richard and cries with him*

[culf]

Evyl James! Is Wossy responsible?