I’ve already lost certain memories and time no longer stands still often I find that my dreams at night feel more real than this life. Mornings come dim through the windows and I wake to your rumpled hair
Tonight brake lights on the freeway become pulsing hearts, beating in the darkening light, each pulse bringing me closer to you, if I listen closely I can hear your heart beating in the rhythm of the turn signal. All roads lead to you and I am merely a brake light blinking into darkness.
Out of worry you advise me not to see the doctor not to visit the clinic not to submit to tests because worry shrouds your life two children and two marriages later you blink worriedly up at the world only saying, do not conceive, do not marry.
I am beginning to forget exactly what it was I felt exactly how you looked even how to pronounce your name. It feels good this letting go and I look towards filling these empty spaces with joy from days to come.