just a mess with a name and the price.

[pendules]

just a mess with a name and the price
Harry/Louis. Harry falls into addiction and depression and Louis stays with him through it all.
warnings: drug addiction, depression, attempted suicide.
notes: This is pretty messed-up and probably doesn't make much sense. I'm really not an expert on any of this, so sorry for anything that's terribly

Comments

[mrsyt31]

This is just...yeah. I'm having a lot of feelings. So beautiful <3

[pendules]

thanks for reading!! <3

[las109]

Holy christ. So. Much. Angst. I hated it. But I loved it. It was so heartbreakingly beautiful. It was different too, because even the love between Harry and Louis is sad. It's not the shining ray of hope that keeps Louis there (well I guess it is in a way, but it's what they used to have, and he even seems to know they'll never have it again), or that makes Harry try to get better. It's just kind of a fucked up part of the whole mess and just... I don't even know. So many tears right now. :(

The last scene was great, too. Just the tiniest sliver of hope there.

Definitely bookmarking this for when I need a good cry. Just lovely, dear.

[pendules]

Definitely bookmarking this for when I need a good cry.

this is actually a pretty huge compliment. thanks so much, dear. <3

[hazandboobear]

oh wow. this was so beautiful. it made my heart ache and my eyes tear up, and i loved every single thing about it.

[pendules]

thank you!! <3

[mozarts_piano]

it's late and any comment i make now is not going to make any sense, so i'm just going to leave this here and say that this is amazing and then come back tomorrow morning for the proper comment you deserve. right.
*casually wipes tears off face*

[pendules]

aww, thanks so much for reading. <3

[mozarts_piano]

so obviously an immediate comment did not follow but man was this good so i'm just going to spill out some feelings here, mostly because it just stuck with me, as most fabulous stories do.

like a welcome mat with a cat wearing a bow tie that makes Harry smile (although no one ever visits), they still go to charity events sometimes (Louis mostly goes alone though, trying to avoid people's pitying looks).
i love how this sentence automatically lets one know exactly how things have fallen and twisted and been strewn in recent months. just the idea of no one visiting and the pity that louis sees every where sets the rest of the story up so nicely because even if you get confused at a time or two you always think back and go - no. it's just louis and harry - just them against the world. crazy insane beginning.

He thinks about dying a lot.okay wow so those six words hit me right in the gut. and the remained bit that followed was just. right. i hate that harry's sucks the life out of everything around him, especially since he used to bring

[pendules]

gosh, this is such an amazing comment. i don't even know how to respond properly, but believe me when i say i pretty much live for comments like this, so thank you so, so very much for this.

yeah, i pretty much just wanted to write a story where they're in this dark, unhealthy, codependent relationship that's broken them in so many ways but they're still together. like you so rightly said, it's just them against the world.

i feel like harry burns so bright, and if he ever did burn out, it would leave this massive black hole that would just suck everything around him into darkness - especially the person closest to him. and just the idea that he can't be fixed, and they both know that, but louis won't ever leave and harry won't ever directly tell him to leave either. ugh, yeah, you're bringing all my ridiculous feelings back up to the surface. (but thank you, really, because i narcissistically love talking about my fic, lol.)

harry realizes how much shit he's put everyone through but i only effects him when he wants to care. and

[scoobysnacksfix]

This was heartbreaking but really beautiful.

*crying for Harry*

*and Louis*

*and all of them*

Great writing!

[pendules]

thank you! <3