just a mess with a name and the price.

[pendules]

just a mess with a name and the price
Harry/Louis. Harry falls into addiction and depression and Louis stays with him through it all.
warnings: drug addiction, depression, attempted suicide.
notes: This is pretty messed-up and probably doesn't make much sense. I'm really not an expert on any of this, so sorry for anything that's terribly

Comments

[pendules]

gosh, this is such an amazing comment. i don't even know how to respond properly, but believe me when i say i pretty much live for comments like this, so thank you so, so very much for this.

yeah, i pretty much just wanted to write a story where they're in this dark, unhealthy, codependent relationship that's broken them in so many ways but they're still together. like you so rightly said, it's just them against the world.

i feel like harry burns so bright, and if he ever did burn out, it would leave this massive black hole that would just suck everything around him into darkness - especially the person closest to him. and just the idea that he can't be fixed, and they both know that, but louis won't ever leave and harry won't ever directly tell him to leave either. ugh, yeah, you're bringing all my ridiculous feelings back up to the surface. (but thank you, really, because i narcissistically love talking about my fic, lol.)

harry realizes how much shit he's put everyone through but i only effects him when he wants to care. and that he thinks that suicide would end all of louis' problems

yeah, exactly. and i think louis sometimes thinks it might too, but he's made harry his whole life, maybe out of wanting him to live so badly, wanting him to see how much he really loves him. and the fact that it's still not enough. well. i'd just like to think that maybe he's actually grateful now when louis saves him, a little more every time.

and the bit about there being no bad guy! yes, i was worried about that, about making them all sympathetic when they just aren't sometimes. but it's a really messed-up situation and sometimes that doesn't make people stronger, no matter how much they want to be, sometimes it makes their flaws even more obvious. so zayn running away and liam trying to build a new life away from it - i really do understand that. and louis clinging on, not necessarily out of hope but because it's the only thing he has left.

again, i cannot express how happy this comment makes me. thank you a million times over. ♥