An empty feeling.
On Saturday, I got my reserved copy of DH and started reading it at about 2:30 PM. When I closed the book on 3:00 AM of Sunday, I was left with an empty feeling, amongst other emotions.
Some of those feelings were for the other deaths, many of which I was either unhappy about how they happened or miserable that they happened at all. Some were for how anti-climatic everything felt to me, and some was for that epilogue.
In the end, though, it was the treatment and death of my two favorite characters that made me feel most empty of all. One of those two is Nymphadora Tonks, and the other is of course Remus Lupin.
I remember when I first got into the Harry Potter series. It was a few months before HBP was to be released -- I had heard of the series, but somehow never got into it, even though I love magic and wizards and all that. But then some friends on IRC were talking about it and recommended it to me, so I figure what the hey, I'll go check it out. And the moment I started reading the first book, I enjoyed it.
At first, I was having to check the books out of the library and while I got the first two rather easily, was having problems getting ahold of PoA. While I was intending to get it, one friend said that I was probably going to like Remus. And y'know, she was RIGHT on the money about that. He just struck me as such a wonderfully crafted character and I came to absolutely adore him. It's muchly due to him that PoA is one of, if not THE favorite of the books in the series for me.
Once I had read through OotP, I had another character I loved as much as Remus, that being Tonks. The gears in my head started going -- how would those two do as a couple? Of course it wouldn't be an easy road, and of course there was nothing even pointing in that direction during the book, but the possible chemistry facinated me.
When HBP came out, I was... actually not that thrilled when Remus and Tonks became a canon couple. It perhaps sounds strange that I would feel that way -- I should have been happy! But I wasn't. I did, and still do feel, that the events and emotions leading up to their relationship were not presented well at all. I feel their respective characterizations were mishandled for the sake of putting them together. I felt badly for both of them, but really said nothing at the time.
And then I read DH.
The getting married did not feel right -- because it felt too rushed. One can say "oh, it's a war" and so forth, but it doesn't seem like something they would be in such a hurry-hurry to do. It's not something that strikes me as Remus would do -- nor Tonks. Yes, she's clumsy and spunky and all that, but she's certainly not stupid.
The baby deal, however, is one of those things that made me nearly want to toss the book at the wall. It struck me as one of the most absolutely contrieved parts of the story, and the entire thing reeks of drama abuse and bad characterization on the parts of both Remus and Tonks. Whereas I felt in HBP that Tonks was getting more of the crappy end of the stick, in DH it felt more like it was Remus' turn (although Tonks still wasn't getting much good either).
As I said in my reply to the other topic -- Remus' fears about his condition being carried over to any offspring he would have is a very valid fear. Thus, I would damn well think that both he and Tonks, as they're BOTH very intelligent, would be able to work this out. The entire pregnancy felt like it was supposed to be an accident or somesuch, but wouldn't the wizarding world have even better methods of birth control than the Muggle methods? Oh, but what if Tonks wanted kids? Granted, we don't know if that really is the case, but surely she and Remus could have come to some decision or some compromise at least. And in the very LEAST, wait until the damn war was over before having a kid, to prevent said child from being made an orphan! (And oh, look what happened with that.)
As I also said in there, part of why the whole deal of them having a child strikes me so badly is I don't feel they would do that. That's just my view of their characters, though.
When I did first start reading DH, I prayed and prayed that they wouldn't be killed off. I was a little less afraid of it happening to Tonks... but I was so very scared for Remus. Every time something bad happened and he wasn't showing up, it made me so worried for him -- and then I'd be relieved when he did appear.
And oddly enough, a bit before the big battle in Hogwarts, I had started to relax and thought they'd be okay after all.
Boy, was I EVER wrong.
When I came across that disgustingly throwaway bit about them having died off-screen, I cried and I cursed like hell. I almost didn't want to finish the book at that point. Still, I did finish it, but... I wasn't happy.
As I closed that book, I was still crying, I felt ill, I felt pissed off -- and I felt empty. At this point, I'm still wondering if I'll ever be able to reread the other books again. I sure as hell won't be rereading DH.
I've thought, well, maybe it's silly for me to be so upset, to be so attached to these characters and especially to Remus so deeply. Maybe it was silly for me to be upset over what's supposed to be a children's book.
Maybe it is, but that's still how I feel. I won't lie about it.
I also still feel that these two deserved BETTER than what they got. Especially Remus, who despite that he is a side-character, has been a damn important one. Despite my love for Tonks, I can sort of (just barely) see why she got rather shafted... but Remus? No. Just... no.
Thus, this community makes me happy, because to me it felt like I was the only one who did feel this way. But I'm glad to see that's not the case. It's also a relief to see that there are some who support the pairing of Remus/Tonks, or at the very least don't believe that Tonks is a stupid, manipulative, evil little whore. =/
I'm not really that much into the HP fandom. I read the books and have great affection for many of the characters, but I don't really discuss it that much with anyone. I don't read any fanfiction. I haven't done any fanfic myself and likely won't, although I'm considering doing some fanart down the line if I can ever feel up to it.
In the end, I'm one of those who has enjoyed Remus since first reading about him in PoA, and it still makes me sick that he got such a crappy end.
He deserves better. A LOT better.
Some of those feelings were for the other deaths, many of which I was either unhappy about how they happened or miserable that they happened at all. Some were for how anti-climatic everything felt to me, and some was for that epilogue.
In the end, though, it was the treatment and death of my two favorite characters that made me feel most empty of all. One of those two is Nymphadora Tonks, and the other is of course Remus Lupin.
I remember when I first got into the Harry Potter series. It was a few months before HBP was to be released -- I had heard of the series, but somehow never got into it, even though I love magic and wizards and all that. But then some friends on IRC were talking about it and recommended it to me, so I figure what the hey, I'll go check it out. And the moment I started reading the first book, I enjoyed it.
At first, I was having to check the books out of the library and while I got the first two rather easily, was having problems getting ahold of PoA. While I was intending to get it, one friend said that I was probably going to like Remus. And y'know, she was RIGHT on the money about that. He just struck me as such a wonderfully crafted character and I came to absolutely adore him. It's muchly due to him that PoA is one of, if not THE favorite of the books in the series for me.
Once I had read through OotP, I had another character I loved as much as Remus, that being Tonks. The gears in my head started going -- how would those two do as a couple? Of course it wouldn't be an easy road, and of course there was nothing even pointing in that direction during the book, but the possible chemistry facinated me.
When HBP came out, I was... actually not that thrilled when Remus and Tonks became a canon couple. It perhaps sounds strange that I would feel that way -- I should have been happy! But I wasn't. I did, and still do feel, that the events and emotions leading up to their relationship were not presented well at all. I feel their respective characterizations were mishandled for the sake of putting them together. I felt badly for both of them, but really said nothing at the time.
And then I read DH.
The getting married did not feel right -- because it felt too rushed. One can say "oh, it's a war" and so forth, but it doesn't seem like something they would be in such a hurry-hurry to do. It's not something that strikes me as Remus would do -- nor Tonks. Yes, she's clumsy and spunky and all that, but she's certainly not stupid.
The baby deal, however, is one of those things that made me nearly want to toss the book at the wall. It struck me as one of the most absolutely contrieved parts of the story, and the entire thing reeks of drama abuse and bad characterization on the parts of both Remus and Tonks. Whereas I felt in HBP that Tonks was getting more of the crappy end of the stick, in DH it felt more like it was Remus' turn (although Tonks still wasn't getting much good either).
As I said in my reply to the other topic -- Remus' fears about his condition being carried over to any offspring he would have is a very valid fear. Thus, I would damn well think that both he and Tonks, as they're BOTH very intelligent, would be able to work this out. The entire pregnancy felt like it was supposed to be an accident or somesuch, but wouldn't the wizarding world have even better methods of birth control than the Muggle methods? Oh, but what if Tonks wanted kids? Granted, we don't know if that really is the case, but surely she and Remus could have come to some decision or some compromise at least. And in the very LEAST, wait until the damn war was over before having a kid, to prevent said child from being made an orphan! (And oh, look what happened with that.)
As I also said in there, part of why the whole deal of them having a child strikes me so badly is I don't feel they would do that. That's just my view of their characters, though.
When I did first start reading DH, I prayed and prayed that they wouldn't be killed off. I was a little less afraid of it happening to Tonks... but I was so very scared for Remus. Every time something bad happened and he wasn't showing up, it made me so worried for him -- and then I'd be relieved when he did appear.
And oddly enough, a bit before the big battle in Hogwarts, I had started to relax and thought they'd be okay after all.
Boy, was I EVER wrong.
When I came across that disgustingly throwaway bit about them having died off-screen, I cried and I cursed like hell. I almost didn't want to finish the book at that point. Still, I did finish it, but... I wasn't happy.
As I closed that book, I was still crying, I felt ill, I felt pissed off -- and I felt empty. At this point, I'm still wondering if I'll ever be able to reread the other books again. I sure as hell won't be rereading DH.
I've thought, well, maybe it's silly for me to be so upset, to be so attached to these characters and especially to Remus so deeply. Maybe it was silly for me to be upset over what's supposed to be a children's book.
Maybe it is, but that's still how I feel. I won't lie about it.
I also still feel that these two deserved BETTER than what they got. Especially Remus, who despite that he is a side-character, has been a damn important one. Despite my love for Tonks, I can sort of (just barely) see why she got rather shafted... but Remus? No. Just... no.
Thus, this community makes me happy, because to me it felt like I was the only one who did feel this way. But I'm glad to see that's not the case. It's also a relief to see that there are some who support the pairing of Remus/Tonks, or at the very least don't believe that Tonks is a stupid, manipulative, evil little whore. =/
I'm not really that much into the HP fandom. I read the books and have great affection for many of the characters, but I don't really discuss it that much with anyone. I don't read any fanfiction. I haven't done any fanfic myself and likely won't, although I'm considering doing some fanart down the line if I can ever feel up to it.
In the end, I'm one of those who has enjoyed Remus since first reading about him in PoA, and it still makes me sick that he got such a crappy end.
He deserves better. A LOT better.