Customer service tips

[rayluxuryacht]

When I was working at Tower a few years ago, they gave us these "Rules for Customer Service". I thought a few "revisions" were in order.

Rules for Customer Service* Always be polite and helpful. Acknowledge customers as they enter the store or soon thereafter. Stare at them creepily and make lewd comments. Assign nicknames (i.e. "Old Fart", "Butt

Comments

[foxywriter]

Ah, the irony that Tower folded last year.... Apparently it started out in Sacramento, so it was HUGE news here.

Customer service training and rules are funny. Esp when Disney shows you a safety video with Goofy getting high on paint fumes.

[rayluxuryacht]

Our orientation video... they would reenact a variety of customer service situations and show the clerk doing the wrong thing. Then this guy would appear on the screen making a really goofy face while a caption read, "Don't do that!" I'm sure you have to see it to get the full effect. The funniest part was when the guy finds a CD he really likes and he's waiting in line at the counter to pay for it; the person in front of him asks the clerk about that same item, to which the guy gets this silly grin on his face and points to the CD proudly ("Hey- that's the CD I have here!")- but then the clerk starts bashing it right in front of him, calling it "old person music". Hilariously inept.

[vixenfinn]

LOL! How about bad reviews? Spoken loudly? I actually remember hearing this from one of the guys who worked at the Tower in the Village (about Madonna's latest album at the time): "Oh my God, like, gag me with an oscillating fan! She must have, liked, smoked a pack of cigarettes before she started recording (Vogue)"

[rayluxuryacht]

They told us not to ever speak negatively about a CD if we were somewhere customers could hear us... but they didn't want us to lie, either. So we had to come up with all sorts of diplomatic ways around the issue. Usually in those cases, we'd try to avoid interjecting personal opinion, saying things like, "It's one of our biggest sellers", "Rolling Stone gave it a good review", etc. But sometimes we would have to get really creative. If they asked about something I hated, I tended to cop out and say I hadn't heard it, even if I had (or if I hadn't, but was pretty sure I would hate it due to it being an artist or a style of music I disliked).

[missnickers]

Okay, do you have to do it in the jazz section in order for a booty call to count as a business call? Cuz they don't have Luther Vandross in the jazz section, and I can't triple x throw down without my Luther.

"Walk them to their car. Drive home with them. Take their dog for a walk. Nurse their children. Scrub out their toilet. Give their grandmother a sponge bath."
Last time I did that, I got a restraining order slapped on me. :( Jeez what happened to the personal touch? When did businesses become so cold and impersonal?

[rayluxuryacht]

The trouble with doing it in front of Luther is that section's always too crowded with all the other people getting busy to Luther. Now if Luther should happen to find his way into the jazz section by accident, I think that would be permitted... you didn't hear that from me, though. *wink* *wink*

I think you got the restraining order slapped on you because you insisted on taking your clothes off before doing all those things. Grandma's a little freaked out by young female nudity. The kids probably wouldn't mind, though... I doubt the dog would either.

[missnickers]

Could Luther somehow find his way to the children's section by accident? *wink* *nudge*

Pssh. The human body is a beautiful thing. The only reason Grandma didn't want to see it was because it would make her feel inferior and she'd spend the rest of her last few miserable days thinking about what she will never look like.

*grumbles* Stupid old bag, getting me arrested.... >:(

[rayluxuryacht]

The children's section? You're kinkier than I realized! Meet you there in ten minutes, okay? And bring grandma- we'll make her watch.