Farewell for Now
SO...we've finally gotten unstuck, and i'll be on my way soon. Currently the plan is to get dropped off around I-80 in Des Moines, Take it westward until i hit mountains i'd rather not cross, then head south and around via the desert states. If it's fairly crossable for the most part, i'll head straight through Denver, and from there head down the other side of the continental divide to Cali. If anyone's on the way that won't mind giving me a shower/care package/infodump, I'll try and check my email (superfighterg*nospam*@yahoo.com) at some library or something.
Either way, i thought i'd give you a big {See you again!} message. And lots of long-winded Gayness. Or Something.
I normally hate people that post lyrics, but I've had this song stuck in my head since Monday Morning. I'm a big fan of "classic rock" because i believe that, contrary to what the radio or the TV tells you, Music is not like Magazines, You don't throw them away when the new song comes out. Anyway, the song:
I Guess that's why they call it the blues
(Music by Elton John, Lyrics by Bernie Taupin)
Don't wish it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me I could honestly say
That things can only get better
And while I'm away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Just stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each second without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man
Wait on me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply love you
More than I love life itself
Haha, well, printing the lyrics only makes the song louder in my head. Some parts seem strangely appropriate. >.>
I think getting more into Buddhism saved my sanity. I've been on the dumping end of a lot of shit in my life, and i was driving myself nuts with all of it, making myself sick in the process. I learned something over these past few years, that you just have to let things go. The harder you hold on to things, the more likely you are to break your hand or wreck what you're holding.
Things like anger, hate, sadness, and even Joy and happiness are things that flow like a river. You've got to let the river flow where it wants, because the more you try to block it up, the more likely you are to get a flooded, scummy, mosquito-infested swamp. Or something. It's part of the human experience, that you have to let things follow their natural flow.
We're all part of that flow. Whether a fish arrives at the end of a river by the current or it's own fins, it's still where it is. To put it simply, it doesn't matter how i got here, only that i'm here and need to deal with it, not ferret around looking for blame.
It also makes me realize how much cynicism, hate and negativity is like a poison, and when one surrounds oneself in poison all you get in return is more poison. If you want to seriously change your life, you've got to let it slide off like water on a ducks back. It's okay to take in a little poison, but you've got to, like letting that thing follow it's natural flow, let it go. or else you end up with an obstructed bowel of pure hate.
You have to start taking in what you can, but never keeping it, because if you try to keep it, it'll fester and rot from the inside out.
It takes losing almost everything i've ever had to realize that.
akanepanda: Good Luck in the Future. I hope you find that confidence you're looking for, because you're really coo.
amano_jyaku, angeltzadkiel: Keep on rocking that Sexiart goodness.
bigdaddyt: I never have much of a clue to what you're up to, because i know you tend to avoid personal updates and stuff. Either way, hope you rock out in your chosen field of rocking, whatever it is nowadays.
bradlee289, lindze: Good luck with the business stuff. Don't go crazy because of all the weird drama people, or any of the personal losses you've suffered this year. >.> But as long as you've got each other, i know you can pull through anything.
branchan: Bran, you're a lot stronger (and sexier) than you give yourself credit for. All you need to do is believe in yourself. You've gone a lot farther already than most women your age will ever get to, and you can go even farther than that if you just have faith in yourself.
chaosmeika: Good luck with the comicking and stuff. Like i said, i don't think the current webcomics story construction would be a good fit for ya, but focus on improving your craft and you'll go far.
chaossaber: Come back! ;^;
cjdesi: Haha, Keep Jumping! Seriously, just stick with what you're doing and you'll overcome any job prejudice. :p
clapine: Well, i'll probably talk to you sometime again when i can. It's been, what, 20 years now? Hopefully the problems you're having now will work themselves out...It does seem time for "the troubles" lately, doesn't it? Either way, We'll still be rocking in that old school Phoenix Bike Club/Nuclear-Sword Exo-suit Club way. :p
crazymiko, wolfe4444, greatsage, huongstar, kristalchan, nac, paigeyiscrazey, shinta_kun, strung, jaggedtoothgrin, jeikobu, tangeu: Update more! Seriously, Keep doing good and i'll be happy.
destrado_meep: Haha, i know you think your journal's "Boring", but it's always been "rock solid" IMO. The Austrailian legacy of coolness continues. :p
dnfield: Dude, i'm so amazed by what you've done so far and what you're going to do. Even if i don't agree 100% with your beliefs, we've always been cool to agree not to be jerks about it. :p Say hello to the big guy for me. ;)
dreamshade: I know the problems with a lack of free time/Night jobs stealing your motivation, but keep with it. It may seem kinda rough now but i'm sure you can break through that barrier and get a little bit closer to your dreamray. Unfortunately, i won't be able to help you on it for a while, but don't give up!
flatlinejack: I know i've known you for a while, but you're relatively new to the LJ thing...Anyway, I hope your productions and pitches go through successfully, because hot damn would i actually like to see some of the stuff you're working on. :p
ghalam: Taruweiner!
gygaxis: Hope to see you sometime during the trip :p Actually, i hope your current endeavors turn out nicely, it seems we've both had trouble uprooting to other areas before, but who knows? If i lived down near you maybe the combined might could overcome the curse?
healerkou: I'm actually very surprised at how far you've grown since i first started reading your journal. You're a lot happier now, and it shows. Hope the financial stuff coagulates a little better than it has in the past, but i'm glad you got out of that really lousy situation and into a more loving relationship. :D
hirameki: I hope to see you keep at it and avoid getting caught up in too many useless things, because you know you can really be something if you keep it up.
hooli: *Lunges for Hoolibrain* Haha, your entries are really cute most of the time (And when they're not, they're disturbing yet strangely cute. :p ), and i'm glad to see you can multitask and get things done, at least better than i can. Go go Hooli!
insomnikai: I know you like to show up, molestor everyone, then disappear into the night, but thanks for all you've done for me, despite me being a big floppy dick half the time >.>. I wouldn't have a web presence without your gracious patronage.
jaerik: Man, Who knew we'd end up such good friends a few years ago? It kinda blindsided me, to tell you the truth. Of course, starting off with giftart was probably the best way. :p Either way, thanks for all you've done to help me keep my sanity these past few years, hopefully someday i can return the favor, because it looks like your sanity is under attack all the time. >.>
kenshin_no_miko: I dunno, there are times when you radiate confidence and there are others when you don't. Always a cypher. :p I hope you stay happy and healthy though, those headaches must be killers. >.>
masterninja66: One of these days i SWEAR i'm going to go to Japan and stop by for a quick visit. Maybe even buy you an INTERESTING GORILLA KEYCHAIN or something. >.> Hope you and Yoko stay doing fine.
merekat: I still worry about your health, because i know while you are THE superbabe of my art dreams, You tend to get to focused on things and let your health slide as a result.
mokuren: Hope the toe's healing up nicely. Also hope the money situation works out for you. Remember that yes, despite your protests to the contrary, you ARE good enough to deserve happiness, and you can get it if you believe you're good enough for it. As Cindy Lauper once said, Good Enough for you is good enough for me.
moonkatz: I hope things go well in your quest to get out there and get things moving, and thanks for all the help, even though we probably don't know each other entirely all that well. >.> Keep up the Master Beading!
mrgrue: I know you're still searching for your identity, but hey, it's already there, you just need to get over your anxiety about expressing it. Good luck on your journey of self discovery.
mrjohnnybravo17: Meow! I swear one of these days i'll steal your kitten! >:p Thanks for being one of the guys who even bothers to care about my boring entries. :)
neobunny *molestors* My Irish H brotha! Though i'll never get you do draw a comic, a guy can dream, can't he?
rosearcana: I hope the wedding goes well, I know you and Stu make a great couple, and you both deserve the best in the future. Rock!
rubyjones: It was really nice meeting you, and you have a great fashion sense (he said, guiltily admitting his interest in fashion). The australian legacy of cool continues!
ryosake: Dude, i've been in the same situations as you, so i'm probably one of the best people to tell you how to improve the state of things, but sometimes i wish you'd remember things a little better. Anyway, the first thing you always need to remember is you've got to be your own best friend and ally, even if you don't like where you are now. If you can't love yourself, even if it's for your own faults, how can you expect anyone else to? FAITO!
sailortweek: Update less! Seriously, i read everything you post and all, but my friend's page was a Tweek-only page for a while there. >.> Glad you and Bjorn have each other, and hope you guys stay happy and Hurricaned (?).
spacecaptsteve: I know you feel like you've given up a lot to get where you are now, but i'd like to think that it was worth it. You're still the coolest (and nicest) guy i've ever met, and i hope you stay healthy. Wish i could jet over there to visit and help bring a little more of that personal life happiness you're wishing for.
talostrokair: I've always admired your passion for the things that are important to you, and though i sometimes disagree with you on things i always respect that passion and the point of view. Hope Winter and Heather are okay.
themetricruler: Keep on Ruling man! I was really worried about you when you screwed up and ended up sleeping in your car and everything, but i was really glad you managed to get things sorted out and back on track. You and Sweet T make a great couple, and i'm hoping things get even better for you guys in the time ahead. I've always been a bad karma sponge, so who knows? It may be awesome while i'm gone. :p
tylinhae: I know we've sometimes had problems because i can never tell if you're being sarcastic or not, but i've always appreciated you being there for me even if it's with a witty reply. :p
uzu_uzu: I have no idea where you're situated ATM, but make sure to remember me everytime you have a footlong and a rt. 44 Dr. Pepper. :p
vaz: Dude. You're one of the best artists i know, and you deserve a lot better than your current lot in life. I know it's really hard, but try not to hate people too much for their stupidity, because honestly half of them don't know better. I used to hate idiots, but nowadays i just pity them. And to most of them, Pity is a lot harder to take than hate, because it makes you a better person than them. Poison can be a cure in minor doses, so i'm hoping things get better soon so that flood of poison you get from people dries up to a manageable level.
waterbearer20: I just met you, so i don't really know you that well, but you seemed really nice. I'm sorry i have to cut out before we can become better friends. >.>
weezl888: I'm happy that you got that steady job, as freelancing can be a big pain in the ascot. Still, i'm in awe of what you can do (Animation is a big trial for me. >.>), and you're abilities with form and design.
yokaze: I know starting over from almost scratch is rough, but it's best to get to it and not look back. Who knows? Maybe someday everyone involved can look back on it over a beer and laugh at how silly it was? I dunno, i'm not the kind of person who can hold on to a grudge anymore, because i learned that doing so is a waste of precious time you could spend living. And if that fails, Give anyone who's still mad at you one or three free hits. That always works.
Either way, i thought i'd give you a big {See you again!} message. And lots of long-winded Gayness. Or Something.
I normally hate people that post lyrics, but I've had this song stuck in my head since Monday Morning. I'm a big fan of "classic rock" because i believe that, contrary to what the radio or the TV tells you, Music is not like Magazines, You don't throw them away when the new song comes out. Anyway, the song:
I Guess that's why they call it the blues
(Music by Elton John, Lyrics by Bernie Taupin)
Don't wish it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me I could honestly say
That things can only get better
And while I'm away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Just stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each second without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man
Wait on me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply love you
More than I love life itself
Haha, well, printing the lyrics only makes the song louder in my head. Some parts seem strangely appropriate. >.>
I think getting more into Buddhism saved my sanity. I've been on the dumping end of a lot of shit in my life, and i was driving myself nuts with all of it, making myself sick in the process. I learned something over these past few years, that you just have to let things go. The harder you hold on to things, the more likely you are to break your hand or wreck what you're holding.
Things like anger, hate, sadness, and even Joy and happiness are things that flow like a river. You've got to let the river flow where it wants, because the more you try to block it up, the more likely you are to get a flooded, scummy, mosquito-infested swamp. Or something. It's part of the human experience, that you have to let things follow their natural flow.
We're all part of that flow. Whether a fish arrives at the end of a river by the current or it's own fins, it's still where it is. To put it simply, it doesn't matter how i got here, only that i'm here and need to deal with it, not ferret around looking for blame.
It also makes me realize how much cynicism, hate and negativity is like a poison, and when one surrounds oneself in poison all you get in return is more poison. If you want to seriously change your life, you've got to let it slide off like water on a ducks back. It's okay to take in a little poison, but you've got to, like letting that thing follow it's natural flow, let it go. or else you end up with an obstructed bowel of pure hate.
You have to start taking in what you can, but never keeping it, because if you try to keep it, it'll fester and rot from the inside out.
It takes losing almost everything i've ever had to realize that.
akanepanda: Good Luck in the Future. I hope you find that confidence you're looking for, because you're really coo.
amano_jyaku, angeltzadkiel: Keep on rocking that Sexiart goodness.
bigdaddyt: I never have much of a clue to what you're up to, because i know you tend to avoid personal updates and stuff. Either way, hope you rock out in your chosen field of rocking, whatever it is nowadays.
bradlee289, lindze: Good luck with the business stuff. Don't go crazy because of all the weird drama people, or any of the personal losses you've suffered this year. >.> But as long as you've got each other, i know you can pull through anything.
branchan: Bran, you're a lot stronger (and sexier) than you give yourself credit for. All you need to do is believe in yourself. You've gone a lot farther already than most women your age will ever get to, and you can go even farther than that if you just have faith in yourself.
chaosmeika: Good luck with the comicking and stuff. Like i said, i don't think the current webcomics story construction would be a good fit for ya, but focus on improving your craft and you'll go far.
chaossaber: Come back! ;^;
cjdesi: Haha, Keep Jumping! Seriously, just stick with what you're doing and you'll overcome any job prejudice. :p
clapine: Well, i'll probably talk to you sometime again when i can. It's been, what, 20 years now? Hopefully the problems you're having now will work themselves out...It does seem time for "the troubles" lately, doesn't it? Either way, We'll still be rocking in that old school Phoenix Bike Club/Nuclear-Sword Exo-suit Club way. :p
crazymiko, wolfe4444, greatsage, huongstar, kristalchan, nac, paigeyiscrazey, shinta_kun, strung, jaggedtoothgrin, jeikobu, tangeu: Update more! Seriously, Keep doing good and i'll be happy.
destrado_meep: Haha, i know you think your journal's "Boring", but it's always been "rock solid" IMO. The Austrailian legacy of coolness continues. :p
dnfield: Dude, i'm so amazed by what you've done so far and what you're going to do. Even if i don't agree 100% with your beliefs, we've always been cool to agree not to be jerks about it. :p Say hello to the big guy for me. ;)
dreamshade: I know the problems with a lack of free time/Night jobs stealing your motivation, but keep with it. It may seem kinda rough now but i'm sure you can break through that barrier and get a little bit closer to your dreamray. Unfortunately, i won't be able to help you on it for a while, but don't give up!
flatlinejack: I know i've known you for a while, but you're relatively new to the LJ thing...Anyway, I hope your productions and pitches go through successfully, because hot damn would i actually like to see some of the stuff you're working on. :p
ghalam: Taruweiner!
gygaxis: Hope to see you sometime during the trip :p Actually, i hope your current endeavors turn out nicely, it seems we've both had trouble uprooting to other areas before, but who knows? If i lived down near you maybe the combined might could overcome the curse?
healerkou: I'm actually very surprised at how far you've grown since i first started reading your journal. You're a lot happier now, and it shows. Hope the financial stuff coagulates a little better than it has in the past, but i'm glad you got out of that really lousy situation and into a more loving relationship. :D
hirameki: I hope to see you keep at it and avoid getting caught up in too many useless things, because you know you can really be something if you keep it up.
hooli: *Lunges for Hoolibrain* Haha, your entries are really cute most of the time (And when they're not, they're disturbing yet strangely cute. :p ), and i'm glad to see you can multitask and get things done, at least better than i can. Go go Hooli!
insomnikai: I know you like to show up, molestor everyone, then disappear into the night, but thanks for all you've done for me, despite me being a big floppy dick half the time >.>. I wouldn't have a web presence without your gracious patronage.
jaerik: Man, Who knew we'd end up such good friends a few years ago? It kinda blindsided me, to tell you the truth. Of course, starting off with giftart was probably the best way. :p Either way, thanks for all you've done to help me keep my sanity these past few years, hopefully someday i can return the favor, because it looks like your sanity is under attack all the time. >.>
kenshin_no_miko: I dunno, there are times when you radiate confidence and there are others when you don't. Always a cypher. :p I hope you stay happy and healthy though, those headaches must be killers. >.>
masterninja66: One of these days i SWEAR i'm going to go to Japan and stop by for a quick visit. Maybe even buy you an INTERESTING GORILLA KEYCHAIN or something. >.> Hope you and Yoko stay doing fine.
merekat: I still worry about your health, because i know while you are THE superbabe of my art dreams, You tend to get to focused on things and let your health slide as a result.
mokuren: Hope the toe's healing up nicely. Also hope the money situation works out for you. Remember that yes, despite your protests to the contrary, you ARE good enough to deserve happiness, and you can get it if you believe you're good enough for it. As Cindy Lauper once said, Good Enough for you is good enough for me.
moonkatz: I hope things go well in your quest to get out there and get things moving, and thanks for all the help, even though we probably don't know each other entirely all that well. >.> Keep up the Master Beading!
mrgrue: I know you're still searching for your identity, but hey, it's already there, you just need to get over your anxiety about expressing it. Good luck on your journey of self discovery.
mrjohnnybravo17: Meow! I swear one of these days i'll steal your kitten! >:p Thanks for being one of the guys who even bothers to care about my boring entries. :)
neobunny *molestors* My Irish H brotha! Though i'll never get you do draw a comic, a guy can dream, can't he?
rosearcana: I hope the wedding goes well, I know you and Stu make a great couple, and you both deserve the best in the future. Rock!
rubyjones: It was really nice meeting you, and you have a great fashion sense (he said, guiltily admitting his interest in fashion). The australian legacy of cool continues!
ryosake: Dude, i've been in the same situations as you, so i'm probably one of the best people to tell you how to improve the state of things, but sometimes i wish you'd remember things a little better. Anyway, the first thing you always need to remember is you've got to be your own best friend and ally, even if you don't like where you are now. If you can't love yourself, even if it's for your own faults, how can you expect anyone else to? FAITO!
sailortweek: Update less! Seriously, i read everything you post and all, but my friend's page was a Tweek-only page for a while there. >.> Glad you and Bjorn have each other, and hope you guys stay happy and Hurricaned (?).
spacecaptsteve: I know you feel like you've given up a lot to get where you are now, but i'd like to think that it was worth it. You're still the coolest (and nicest) guy i've ever met, and i hope you stay healthy. Wish i could jet over there to visit and help bring a little more of that personal life happiness you're wishing for.
talostrokair: I've always admired your passion for the things that are important to you, and though i sometimes disagree with you on things i always respect that passion and the point of view. Hope Winter and Heather are okay.
themetricruler: Keep on Ruling man! I was really worried about you when you screwed up and ended up sleeping in your car and everything, but i was really glad you managed to get things sorted out and back on track. You and Sweet T make a great couple, and i'm hoping things get even better for you guys in the time ahead. I've always been a bad karma sponge, so who knows? It may be awesome while i'm gone. :p
tylinhae: I know we've sometimes had problems because i can never tell if you're being sarcastic or not, but i've always appreciated you being there for me even if it's with a witty reply. :p
uzu_uzu: I have no idea where you're situated ATM, but make sure to remember me everytime you have a footlong and a rt. 44 Dr. Pepper. :p
vaz: Dude. You're one of the best artists i know, and you deserve a lot better than your current lot in life. I know it's really hard, but try not to hate people too much for their stupidity, because honestly half of them don't know better. I used to hate idiots, but nowadays i just pity them. And to most of them, Pity is a lot harder to take than hate, because it makes you a better person than them. Poison can be a cure in minor doses, so i'm hoping things get better soon so that flood of poison you get from people dries up to a manageable level.
waterbearer20: I just met you, so i don't really know you that well, but you seemed really nice. I'm sorry i have to cut out before we can become better friends. >.>
weezl888: I'm happy that you got that steady job, as freelancing can be a big pain in the ascot. Still, i'm in awe of what you can do (Animation is a big trial for me. >.>), and you're abilities with form and design.
yokaze: I know starting over from almost scratch is rough, but it's best to get to it and not look back. Who knows? Maybe someday everyone involved can look back on it over a beer and laugh at how silly it was? I dunno, i'm not the kind of person who can hold on to a grudge anymore, because i learned that doing so is a waste of precious time you could spend living. And if that fails, Give anyone who's still mad at you one or three free hits. That always works.