(Untitled)

[random_yayness]

(Crossposted from Tumblr)

I had a really good talk with alisso​ this morning before she went to bed, and I've been thinking about it ever since. I think she really nailed a big issue with the way my mental illnesses intersect with my autism. I'm pretty positive she won't mind me posting what she said, so to make it quicker, I shall. It started with us

Comments

[kath_ballantyne]

Have your therapists had experience with people with Autism

[random_yayness]

Gwen was the one who diagnosed me a few years ago, and I think Andi does a bit from what she's said but I haven't asked specifically.

The thing about me feeling like I don't deserve Alisso was just an example of the issue. It more fully comes up in how I don't feel like a person and I have trouble believing I have friends that really care and are interested and invested in me. Even when they tell me. And I hate myself for that, but like I said in my post here, it helps to know that it's not just me being an asshole at least. :\

Don't suppose it would be easier to convince yourself that everyone deserves someone who loves them and to be happy?

A bit, but I still have trouble feeling like I AM someone. I've always felt outside the equation of 'people'.