The Gratuitous Vampire AU - Part 4

[rallamajoop]

Title: Sign of the Cross (a.k.a. the Completely Gratuitous Guilty Gear Vampire AU)
Summary: Gears or vampires, it's all just another day's work for the Holy Order. But they never do quite manage to screen some of their more unusual recruits as carefully as they ought to either.
Characters/Pairing: Sol/Ky
Chapter: 4 of 5
Rating: NC-17
Word Count:

Comments

[celadonite]

What a thing to come home to XD I like how they're still snarking at each other even in this kind of situation. The 'Talking to me?' reply stuck to me XD

Two small things though:

prickling like a bur stuck in the back - unless it's a different spelling for 'burr', or was referring to the dental drill. Sorry, alternative spellings often trigger false alarms in me OTL

He thumb rubs over Ky's chin

Since the end of the second chapter, I'd been wondering if Sol biting Ky would automatically convert him into a vampire, but I guess that isn't a concern now :D

[rallamajoop]

I am so much more comfortable writing dialogue/snark than I am writing smut, it probably shows. ^^; (I seriously considered skipping straight to the morning after until I came up with enough important dialogue that would be exchanged during this scene that it became kinda necessary.) Though it's just as true that scenes like this are so much more fun to plot out (and hopefully so much less likely to end up wallowing in bad porn/doujinshi cliches) if you can work a bit of in-character playfullness into them. ^_^

Errors fixed, thanks for pointing those out. My beta reader got to see a couple of draft copies of this before it was finished, so we were probably both a bit too familiar with it to spot all the mistakes by the end. ^^;

Since the end of the second chapter, I'd been wondering if Sol biting Ky would automatically convert him into a vampire, but I guess that isn't a concern now :DOh, no - Ky would have been *very* much more worried if there'd been any danger of that - and for that matter, Sol would've been a lot more reluctant

[yhibiki]

Wow. Tbat was... really hot.

Especially loved the exchange between them, about Sol's fantasies and whether or not he would have told Ky. Poor lonely Sol.

... I just hope Sol wasn't sneaking into Ky's room at night to watch him sleep!

[rallamajoop]

Thanks! I'm still pretty new at writing these scenes, enthusiastic feedback is very encouraging. =D

Especially loved the exchange between them, about Sol's fantasies and whether or not he would have told Ky. Poor lonely Sol.

Interesting you noticed that part, it was one of my main excuses for including this scene in detail. The previous chapter already covered the smut requirement fairly well, but those kind of conversations are, y'know, important for plot reasons and stuff. *cough* Plus I figured most readers wouldn't mind another chapter like this.

... I just hope Sol wasn't sneaking into Ky's room at night to watch him sleep!

*snort* Oh, the image you just gave me. XD I don't think I ever linked it to the comm, but I'm so horribly guilty of going there already. ^^;;; Fortunately, in this particular universe I think Sol would be more inclined to stick to more traditional/less stalker-ish methods of dealing with, er, shall we say Ky-induced frustration. Starting fights is far healthier and time-honoured method. ;)

[yhibiki]

I have an EYE for these things. ;) Well, and... I love smut, but I really love little details that show the emotional involvement of characters as well. Which I certainly felt, so good job. :)

... oh lol. sparkle!Ky makes a little too much sense. Although I'm pretty sure Sol would beat him up if he ever stepped into her room uninvited.

You've also given me an image of vamp!Sol going out of his way to pick a fight with Ky when he's ~frustrated~, and Ky being so incredibly confused as to what sets Sol off sometimes.

[rallamajoop]

That's very much what I was going for too, glad it came through well. ^_^

Although I'm pretty sure Sol would beat him up if he ever stepped into her room uninvited.

That or invite him closer. ^_~ Actually, I suspect Girl!Sol would be the kind to booby-trap her window, which would lead to her waking up in the middle of the night at the sound of a spring going, to find Sparklepire!Ky hanging in a net outside frantically going off, "This isn't what it looks like!" She'd probably find that hilariously funny, and/or prime blackmail material.

You've also given me an image of vamp!Sol going out of his way to pick a fight with Ky when he's ~frustrated~, and Ky being so incredibly confused as to what sets Sol off sometimes.

Ahaha, can't you just picture Sol picking fights because, say, he just walked in on Ky getting changed? Or because he's been walking around in a wet shirt after a particularly sudden rainstorm? Poor Ky, there's just no logic at all to what sets Sol off. *g* On the other hand, who's to say only vampire!Sol does that? ;)

[velithya]

ONE DAY I WILL RETURN A BETA WITH ZERO ERRORS

ONE DAY-

[rallamajoop]

MAYBE SOME DAY I WILL ASK YOU TO BETA A DRABBLE FOR ME. =P

[velithya]

OH COME ON-

DOES CHAPTER FIVE COUNT? IT'S SHORTER ;P

[rallamajoop]

NOT UNLESS DRABBLES GOT 20 TIMES LONGER WHILE I WASN'T LOOKING.

(mind you, you've probably got a pretty good chance with it. ;)

[rallamajoop]

Glad you're enjoying it so much, thanks! ^_^ Next (and final) chapter is already done, I'm just waiting for my beta reader to get it back to me before I post it.

That's quite okay, thanks for pointing that out - I'll get it fixed.