[SITS THERE

EATING

A BURGER I am the greatest at coming up new and exciting opening posts. SO COLE IS SITTING IN A CITY THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT A PIECE OF SHIT AND EATING FOOD THAT IS.... WELL YEAH MCDONALDS IS PRETTY BAD TOO YEAH BUT HE'LL TAKE THIS OVER TRYING TO FIND SCRAPS OUT OF A DUMPSTER, OKAY. HATERS GONNA HATE. SO YOU GUYS DO WHAT YOU WANT.]

[BITCH.  ZOMBIE'S COMIN' UP THE HELL RIGHT NOW!

SHOOTS IT IN THE HEAD.]

THAT one's mine.

[ALL SMUG AND COOL AND SHIT CUZ SHE IS BADDEST WOMAN ALIVE.]

[PRIES A HEADCRAB OFF HIMSELF

THROWS IT ON THE GROUND

SHOOTS IT

HOLY CRAP HE HATES HEAD HUMPERS SO MUCH]

[some guy is standing outside leaning on the hood of a car like a cool motherfucker. seriously, that is one cool motherfucker. he may be the coolest motherfucker you've ever seen.

he's also the only person around, so that's a little weird. he starts fishing through his pocket for cigarettes. what do?]

So, uhhh.

I'm goin' to some big castle whatever? With no TV, no X-Box, no guns, no nothin'?

How the hell's that supposed to be fun? It ain't smokin' bongs in nana's trailer, but it ain't blowin' shit up either! What am I supposed to do? Guess huntin' would be alright, but...

It was weird being back in the good old U-S of A sometimes. It felt like there should be more explosions and people shooting at him sometimes. Well, some of the time. Most of the time. All of the time ( Read more... )

I'm not complainin' about the lack of new PB.

I like looking young and handsome and Hollywood. Ish. Ery. Ishery. Dickery. Anyway. Yeah, so I like being "those types". The kind that make all the ladies go "You have a kid?! My god, how'd you lose the baby weight?" I mean, in a non-mpreg sorta way.

The moral of the story? I like my girlish figure.

Levitating cars, huh?

Rock 'n roll.

It was one of those late nights Rochelle couldn't sleep, a few days before Christmas. Her tiny, cheap little apartment was decorated with cheap little holiday decorations. There were multi-colored christmas lights running along the lines of the windows, those festive tin cookie jars, yada yada. It was nothing too gaudy and nothing too expensive ( Read more... )

( app )