I know it's probably come about as part of the "omg you looked at me funny SUE SUE SUE!" culture that has started getting out of hand in recent years, but I'll stand by anyone who says that unwanted behaviour of this fashion in ANY form is sexual harassment. Just because it's not as overt as other forms of harassment doesn't mean it should just be laughed off and ignored. While it could just be an "aw, printer man fancies Rachel!" smittenness, she wasn't very descriptive, and he could easily have been emitting waves of "ewwwww" or rubbing his thighs or whatever
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Thanks for all the supportive comments! He did seem a very nice guy - which I stressed to the accounts manager - and wasn't sleazy or rubbing his thighs, probably was just smitten as Rob says. But then, when working and representing a company you should not be saying these sort of things to clients. An admiring look may not be intentional but to repeat that sort of thing in words is not professional. I wouldn't dream of giving a visiting client a saucy wink or an inappropriate comment (maybe a casual "oh I love your shoes/suit" if they're friendly and chatty). I found it more uncomfortable and awkward then outright offensive. Not to be defensive, but to paint a clearer picture I work at the reception alone which is quite isolated from the rest of the office (a corner of meeting rooms and corridor inbetween), so when he said these things at reception and in the corridor when no-one was about which is pretty intimidating.
Not an over-reaction at all. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, even if that's not their intent, then it's perfectly natural to want them to STOP IT. Also, this is your work environment - you have the right to feel safe and secure in your space
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No, seriously, not an over-reaction at all. It's easy to say that you should have said something at the time, but the reality is that most people, in those circumstances, don't or can't. There are lots of reasons - the main ones being that the attention leaves you flustered and unable to think clearly about it, and you being wary of how the other person may react if rebuffed (maybe a combination of both) - and the fact that you didn't say anything at the time doesn't in any way invalidate your discomfort
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Thanks. You've hit the nail on the head there, I was very flustered at the time and though it did occur to me to say something I couldn't. I don't think he'd have reacted theateningly, but it would have been very awkward and it seems very ungrateful somehow?
I'll introduce him to the IT next time - who knows, maybe he'll also be called "beautiful"!
I do think you're right, men often don't realise (or care) that women find that sort of approach intimidating and uncomfortable, whether it's intended well or not. I hope that he learns from this and ensures he's more distanced and professional in future. Also, I always feel with these sort of things that it could be that he does it alot but no-one ever says anything and so he continues on unwittingly making people uncomfortable!
You were right to make an official complaint, if it was making you feel awkward and unhappy than it's not right and it should be stopped. I don't think telling him straight or ignoring him would have helped, guys like that rarely let that sort of thing put them off :(
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He did seem a very nice guy - which I stressed to the accounts manager - and wasn't sleazy or rubbing his thighs, probably was just smitten as Rob says.
But then, when working and representing a company you should not be saying these sort of things to clients. An admiring look may not be intentional but to repeat that sort of thing in words is not professional. I wouldn't dream of giving a visiting client a saucy wink or an inappropriate comment (maybe a casual "oh I love your shoes/suit" if they're friendly and chatty). I found it more uncomfortable and awkward then outright offensive.
Not to be defensive, but to paint a clearer picture I work at the reception alone which is quite isolated from the rest of the office (a corner of meeting rooms and corridor inbetween), so when he said these things at reception and in the corridor when no-one was about which is pretty intimidating.
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I'll introduce him to the IT next time - who knows, maybe he'll also be called "beautiful"!
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I do think you're right, men often don't realise (or care) that women find that sort of approach intimidating and uncomfortable, whether it's intended well or not. I hope that he learns from this and ensures he's more distanced and professional in future. Also, I always feel with these sort of things that it could be that he does it alot but no-one ever says anything and so he continues on unwittingly making people uncomfortable!
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