writers_muses: 33.2D "A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point."
ooc note: So, I tried to do something different for this one. And...I'll admit, I'm a little nervous about it because it's the first time I really do this for a canon character. I still have a more 'canon' version of this somewhere in my head, but the canon I will be writing in this piece is the canon/backstory that I have for my Remus. It's vaguely? inspired by the prompt that was once in the_bigshow community of "Just for fun, create an NPC for your muse, someone who would interact with your muse in a way that no one else does. What would they be like, and what would their connection be to your muse? How do you think they would interact with the other muses in your character’s world?," and the current one at writers_muses of "A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point." - Mistinguette.
1986.
It had happened out of nowhere. One minute he had been eating dinner at the little pub since he had enough money for it, and the next he was talking to the woman behind the counter. Remus hadn't started the conversation - if anything, he had been about to leave almost as soon as it started. It had been her. It was her pub, she had explained; she had inherited from her father after he had passed away just recently, so she liked to get to know the people that came in and out of it. That is what happens when you grow up in a place like these, she had half-joked, it becomes a part of you. Instead of leaving, Remus started with small-talk. Something to remind himself that he could still talk to people and not just the customers he helped at the bookstore where he worked. Soon he would be leaving again anyway, he figured; small talk never hurt anybody and she seemed friendly enough.
Evelyn, she told him before the night was over. Her name was Evelyn.
As the weeks wore on and Remus remained in the town, Evelyn was the one that he'd sometimes talk to while eating dinner or having a drink. Out of everyone in the town where he was staying, she had been the only one that would ask him where he was from without pressing for answers. She was the one that would sometimes stand close by on slow nights while he ate at the bar, and she was the one that followed his lead depending on what he wanted to talk about. If he wanted to talk. She was used to wanderers passing by the town, she had assured him as well, and she would listen to whatever he wanted to share.
It had been in one of their conversations, a couple of nights before the full moon on that particular month, that he suddenly laughed. Softly, and under his breath, but it had been a laugh nonetheless. Normally a thing like that wouldn't be seen as a big event, but for someone who couldn't remember the last time that he had done so without the motive of simply being polite...it had been a big thing.
And she had noticed. Remus had moved into a small room that had been for rent looking relatively healthy, but the past few nights she had started to notice a change in him. Evelyn didn't know the reason, and as far as Remus was concerned she would never know that it was the moon causing that shift in his body, but she had noticed nonetheless. The way he seemed tense and even in pain. How he shivered unconsciously from time to time. It was barely noticeable, and he did a good job covering it up, but Evelyn was used to watching people. Their features, their movements, their mannerisms... And she had seen the way his eyes had lit up at a joke she made, and then how part of that shell that he seemed to keep himself safely covered with had cracked in the slightest.
"Have you been enjoying your stay here?"
Remus nodded, his lips still quirked slightly at the corners into a small but easy smile. "I have, yes." There was no point in thinking how he'd probably be fired from his job after the full moon, because he would require some days off to recover and his boss would probably not like that. That was the pattern, after all. Sometimes it would break, because his employer would sometimes be understanding enough, but his luck was never that good. He knew it. It would be a matter of waiting and seeing how this one would pan out.
But, of course, he didn't bring that up. "I am very glad I stopped by here," he added. "Everyone has been rather friendly."
Evelyn returned the smile, setting down the glass she had been drying. "Good. I hear Roberts likes how you treat the customers, and how you handle the store."
Ah, he thought wryly as he took a swig of his water, so maybe his boss would be the understanding type. "Does he? Well that's...very good to hear."
A beat. "You're leaving soon, aren't you."
Another beat. Then another. "I might be."
Evelyn picked up another glass to dry, nodding slightly with a small smile. "Yes, you have that...tone in you."
"Funny, I didn't think I had used any tone in particular." He chuckled under his breath again, but she was right. Remus gave a small shrug after a moment, setting down his fork. "I am not sure just yet."
* * *
The full moon came and went, and he didn't leave. Aidan Roberts, his employer, had been understanding enough in giving him a few days off even if he looked uncomfortable at the sight of a particularly nasty gash on Remus' arm. An accident, Remus had insisted when he caught his eyes wandering in the direction of the torn skin that was showing beyond the long sleeves. It was nothing of importance, and he felt just fine, and to prove it he ended up staying long after closing hours to arrange some shelves that hadn't been properly organized by Roberts' son, who had been the one that had replaced Remus in his absence.
Aching and sore, his body still protesting from moving around so much just days after the full moon, Remus left the bookstore once his job was done to head back to his small flat. Or room, really, but it wasn't as if it made a difference. It was a short walk away, and soon he would be sleeping, and that was all that mattered to him.
That was, at least, until he heard a door creak open and Evelyn peering out. "Remus! Oi, I heard you were out ill. Are you all right?"
From where he was standing, and with the poor lighting the street had, he could barely see her expression but he could hear the concern in her voice. Instead of feeling appreciative of it, though, he wanted to just turn his back on her and walk away. He didn't want to associate himself with anybody. He didn't want to hear anyone's concern for him, because soon he would be leaving anyway. And if it wasn't him, then they would be leaving, and while he tried to focus on that he found himself giving her a small smile and a nod. He felt the way his heart tightened slightly at that concern, because no matter how much he'd try to convince himself he didn't want it the truth was a very different one.
He missed his friends so much. Still, after five years. He missed how he felt with them, how he was with them, and even if it would never be the same (and even if he knew this), a part of him felt some of that same comfort with Evelyn. Even in the slightest he felt it, and no matter how much he wanted to ignore it the fact was that he couldn't. James would love her humor, he had concluded just nights ago. Peter would get along for her, surely. He could already hear Lily and Evelyn laughing at something the Marauders did. And Sirius...
His heart clenched even more then.
Physically she was so different from Sirius. Her hair was golden rather than black as ink, her eyes were bright blue rather than that gray he had fallen in love with so long ago, but her personality was very much like Sirius'. So open, and so--
"Yes, I'm fine," Remus finally responded, walking over to her as if to get away from the thoughts he was getting plagued with. "It was just..."
"A small accident. You weren't feeling well. It's a small town, there aren't many secrets around here." Although she didn't smile, Remus could see it in her eyes, and that reassurance once more that she didn't need to know if he didn't want her to. "I'm glad you're all right."
Another small nod, and Remus meant to move back towards the street so he could continue walking to his flat, but instead he found himself staring at her. Now that he was standing so close he could see her expression better, but the poor lighting of the street let him see something else. Her eyes weren't blue then - they were gray. A perfect shade of gray, and before he could realize what he was doing he leaned towards her to kiss her lips.
That was where the illusion ended, of course; she didn't taste like him. She tasted of strawberries and coffee, and she didn't taste like him, but he didn't stop kissing her, either. If anything, as she returned the kiss, he only found himself kissing her deeper.
And she followed his lead, just like she did in conversations. She took in his taste of chocolate and tea, and as she pulled back once the lack of air forced them to do so, it was her turn to be quiet. And it was his turn to take her lead as she put a finger on his lips to stop him from apologizing, and took his hand to lead him inside so they could continue kissing away from the street.
* * *
Two weeks. It had been two weeks since that first kiss. Two weeks since his visits to the pub had become more frequent, and their talks didn't revolve only around small talk anymore. She'd tell him about her childhood and her life, and he'd skirt around the subject as best as he could with vague details of a life that no longer felt like his. It may as well belong to the life of one of the characters in one of the many books he was around all day.
On this particular night, however, as Evelyn sipped on a cup of coffee, she already knew that Remus would be leaving soon. It was written in his features as clearly as it had been that night when she had asked him if he would be leaving soon. It was in the way that he did very little eye contact, and in how his kisses seemed to linger as if not wanting to truly go even if something was pulling him away.
Something was always pulling him away, she'd come to realize.
But instead of asking him, when he turned to look at her and took her hand, she did the only thing she could think of. If he spoke, she knew, he'd say goodbye. He had that look in his eyes. The 'this is not goodbye yet, but just in case I don't see you again...'
Evelyn didn't want to hear it. Not yet, at least. She leaned closer to him and kissed him; slowly and gently, drinking in that familiar taste of his lips. If you go, am I going to see you again? she was tempted to ask, and it was there at the tip of her tongue but she didn't. There would be more time for that later.
For now, all that there was were his lips.
* * *
It was foolish to be there, he told himself over and over. It had been a stupid idea to come back.
Yet, there he was. Standing outside the pub, waiting for Evelyn's friend to leave so he could walk inside. It would be enough with Evelyn's questioning looks; he didn't need more than that asking where he disappeared to after getting sacked from his job.
Two months. He had left two months ago.
Would she even remember him? he couldn't help but wonder while rubbing the side of his neck. Why was he there? It had all been a bit of a fling, hadn't it? It hadn't been anything serious. A month they had known each other, so why was he back?
Rather than finding out those answers - he already knew it was pointless to figure them out, since he had been trying to answer them for hours now - he finally headed inside.
The pub was empty then. Evelyn was getting her keys ready to lock up, and it was then that she saw him standing at the door. "...you came back?"
She didn't sound angry. Guarded, sure, but not angry. Remus wasn't sure if he should be relieved or disappointed at that. "Not exactly. I am...a few kilometers away." Not really. It was more of a country away, but how could he say he had simply apparated there? "I wanted to pay you a visit."
Giving him a small smile, she walked over to the door. To him, since he was still standing so close to it. "You don't owe me any favours, Remus."
"Evelyn, it's not a favour. I needed to go. I--" He pursed his lips for a moment before sighing under his breath. Her eyes were most definitely not gray in this light, he suddenly thought. But maybe that was why he needed to see them staring back at him. "It's complicated."
She nodded, looking down at the keys in her hand for a moment before looking up at him. After a pause, "Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad you're back. How long are you staying?"
Instead of answering, he took the risk that his brain told him not to take but that he had been thinking of constantly nonetheless for as long as he had left. Before she could move to lock up the door, he took her hand to stop her and brought her to him to kiss her. Not that tentative kiss how it had been the first time, or that lingering kiss when she had silently said goodbye before he could leave without doing so; this was the kiss to tell her that he had missed her. That, no matter how much he could say he didn't want to care at all anymore, about anyone, right now he did; he couldn't help it.
Evelyn, at first unsure of what to do, returned the kiss after a moment, unconsciously bringing him closer to her as well. He would be leaving again, she knew, but for now they would make the most of it.
1986.
It had happened out of nowhere. One minute he had been eating dinner at the little pub since he had enough money for it, and the next he was talking to the woman behind the counter. Remus hadn't started the conversation - if anything, he had been about to leave almost as soon as it started. It had been her. It was her pub, she had explained; she had inherited from her father after he had passed away just recently, so she liked to get to know the people that came in and out of it. That is what happens when you grow up in a place like these, she had half-joked, it becomes a part of you. Instead of leaving, Remus started with small-talk. Something to remind himself that he could still talk to people and not just the customers he helped at the bookstore where he worked. Soon he would be leaving again anyway, he figured; small talk never hurt anybody and she seemed friendly enough.
Evelyn, she told him before the night was over. Her name was Evelyn.
As the weeks wore on and Remus remained in the town, Evelyn was the one that he'd sometimes talk to while eating dinner or having a drink. Out of everyone in the town where he was staying, she had been the only one that would ask him where he was from without pressing for answers. She was the one that would sometimes stand close by on slow nights while he ate at the bar, and she was the one that followed his lead depending on what he wanted to talk about. If he wanted to talk. She was used to wanderers passing by the town, she had assured him as well, and she would listen to whatever he wanted to share.
It had been in one of their conversations, a couple of nights before the full moon on that particular month, that he suddenly laughed. Softly, and under his breath, but it had been a laugh nonetheless. Normally a thing like that wouldn't be seen as a big event, but for someone who couldn't remember the last time that he had done so without the motive of simply being polite...it had been a big thing.
And she had noticed. Remus had moved into a small room that had been for rent looking relatively healthy, but the past few nights she had started to notice a change in him. Evelyn didn't know the reason, and as far as Remus was concerned she would never know that it was the moon causing that shift in his body, but she had noticed nonetheless. The way he seemed tense and even in pain. How he shivered unconsciously from time to time. It was barely noticeable, and he did a good job covering it up, but Evelyn was used to watching people. Their features, their movements, their mannerisms... And she had seen the way his eyes had lit up at a joke she made, and then how part of that shell that he seemed to keep himself safely covered with had cracked in the slightest.
"Have you been enjoying your stay here?"
Remus nodded, his lips still quirked slightly at the corners into a small but easy smile. "I have, yes." There was no point in thinking how he'd probably be fired from his job after the full moon, because he would require some days off to recover and his boss would probably not like that. That was the pattern, after all. Sometimes it would break, because his employer would sometimes be understanding enough, but his luck was never that good. He knew it. It would be a matter of waiting and seeing how this one would pan out.
But, of course, he didn't bring that up. "I am very glad I stopped by here," he added. "Everyone has been rather friendly."
Evelyn returned the smile, setting down the glass she had been drying. "Good. I hear Roberts likes how you treat the customers, and how you handle the store."
Ah, he thought wryly as he took a swig of his water, so maybe his boss would be the understanding type. "Does he? Well that's...very good to hear."
A beat. "You're leaving soon, aren't you."
Another beat. Then another. "I might be."
Evelyn picked up another glass to dry, nodding slightly with a small smile. "Yes, you have that...tone in you."
"Funny, I didn't think I had used any tone in particular." He chuckled under his breath again, but she was right. Remus gave a small shrug after a moment, setting down his fork. "I am not sure just yet."
* * *
The full moon came and went, and he didn't leave. Aidan Roberts, his employer, had been understanding enough in giving him a few days off even if he looked uncomfortable at the sight of a particularly nasty gash on Remus' arm. An accident, Remus had insisted when he caught his eyes wandering in the direction of the torn skin that was showing beyond the long sleeves. It was nothing of importance, and he felt just fine, and to prove it he ended up staying long after closing hours to arrange some shelves that hadn't been properly organized by Roberts' son, who had been the one that had replaced Remus in his absence.
Aching and sore, his body still protesting from moving around so much just days after the full moon, Remus left the bookstore once his job was done to head back to his small flat. Or room, really, but it wasn't as if it made a difference. It was a short walk away, and soon he would be sleeping, and that was all that mattered to him.
That was, at least, until he heard a door creak open and Evelyn peering out. "Remus! Oi, I heard you were out ill. Are you all right?"
From where he was standing, and with the poor lighting the street had, he could barely see her expression but he could hear the concern in her voice. Instead of feeling appreciative of it, though, he wanted to just turn his back on her and walk away. He didn't want to associate himself with anybody. He didn't want to hear anyone's concern for him, because soon he would be leaving anyway. And if it wasn't him, then they would be leaving, and while he tried to focus on that he found himself giving her a small smile and a nod. He felt the way his heart tightened slightly at that concern, because no matter how much he'd try to convince himself he didn't want it the truth was a very different one.
He missed his friends so much. Still, after five years. He missed how he felt with them, how he was with them, and even if it would never be the same (and even if he knew this), a part of him felt some of that same comfort with Evelyn. Even in the slightest he felt it, and no matter how much he wanted to ignore it the fact was that he couldn't. James would love her humor, he had concluded just nights ago. Peter would get along for her, surely. He could already hear Lily and Evelyn laughing at something the Marauders did. And Sirius...
His heart clenched even more then.
Physically she was so different from Sirius. Her hair was golden rather than black as ink, her eyes were bright blue rather than that gray he had fallen in love with so long ago, but her personality was very much like Sirius'. So open, and so--
"Yes, I'm fine," Remus finally responded, walking over to her as if to get away from the thoughts he was getting plagued with. "It was just..."
"A small accident. You weren't feeling well. It's a small town, there aren't many secrets around here." Although she didn't smile, Remus could see it in her eyes, and that reassurance once more that she didn't need to know if he didn't want her to. "I'm glad you're all right."
Another small nod, and Remus meant to move back towards the street so he could continue walking to his flat, but instead he found himself staring at her. Now that he was standing so close he could see her expression better, but the poor lighting of the street let him see something else. Her eyes weren't blue then - they were gray. A perfect shade of gray, and before he could realize what he was doing he leaned towards her to kiss her lips.
That was where the illusion ended, of course; she didn't taste like him. She tasted of strawberries and coffee, and she didn't taste like him, but he didn't stop kissing her, either. If anything, as she returned the kiss, he only found himself kissing her deeper.
And she followed his lead, just like she did in conversations. She took in his taste of chocolate and tea, and as she pulled back once the lack of air forced them to do so, it was her turn to be quiet. And it was his turn to take her lead as she put a finger on his lips to stop him from apologizing, and took his hand to lead him inside so they could continue kissing away from the street.
* * *
Two weeks. It had been two weeks since that first kiss. Two weeks since his visits to the pub had become more frequent, and their talks didn't revolve only around small talk anymore. She'd tell him about her childhood and her life, and he'd skirt around the subject as best as he could with vague details of a life that no longer felt like his. It may as well belong to the life of one of the characters in one of the many books he was around all day.
On this particular night, however, as Evelyn sipped on a cup of coffee, she already knew that Remus would be leaving soon. It was written in his features as clearly as it had been that night when she had asked him if he would be leaving soon. It was in the way that he did very little eye contact, and in how his kisses seemed to linger as if not wanting to truly go even if something was pulling him away.
Something was always pulling him away, she'd come to realize.
But instead of asking him, when he turned to look at her and took her hand, she did the only thing she could think of. If he spoke, she knew, he'd say goodbye. He had that look in his eyes. The 'this is not goodbye yet, but just in case I don't see you again...'
Evelyn didn't want to hear it. Not yet, at least. She leaned closer to him and kissed him; slowly and gently, drinking in that familiar taste of his lips. If you go, am I going to see you again? she was tempted to ask, and it was there at the tip of her tongue but she didn't. There would be more time for that later.
For now, all that there was were his lips.
* * *
It was foolish to be there, he told himself over and over. It had been a stupid idea to come back.
Yet, there he was. Standing outside the pub, waiting for Evelyn's friend to leave so he could walk inside. It would be enough with Evelyn's questioning looks; he didn't need more than that asking where he disappeared to after getting sacked from his job.
Two months. He had left two months ago.
Would she even remember him? he couldn't help but wonder while rubbing the side of his neck. Why was he there? It had all been a bit of a fling, hadn't it? It hadn't been anything serious. A month they had known each other, so why was he back?
Rather than finding out those answers - he already knew it was pointless to figure them out, since he had been trying to answer them for hours now - he finally headed inside.
The pub was empty then. Evelyn was getting her keys ready to lock up, and it was then that she saw him standing at the door. "...you came back?"
She didn't sound angry. Guarded, sure, but not angry. Remus wasn't sure if he should be relieved or disappointed at that. "Not exactly. I am...a few kilometers away." Not really. It was more of a country away, but how could he say he had simply apparated there? "I wanted to pay you a visit."
Giving him a small smile, she walked over to the door. To him, since he was still standing so close to it. "You don't owe me any favours, Remus."
"Evelyn, it's not a favour. I needed to go. I--" He pursed his lips for a moment before sighing under his breath. Her eyes were most definitely not gray in this light, he suddenly thought. But maybe that was why he needed to see them staring back at him. "It's complicated."
She nodded, looking down at the keys in her hand for a moment before looking up at him. After a pause, "Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad you're back. How long are you staying?"
Instead of answering, he took the risk that his brain told him not to take but that he had been thinking of constantly nonetheless for as long as he had left. Before she could move to lock up the door, he took her hand to stop her and brought her to him to kiss her. Not that tentative kiss how it had been the first time, or that lingering kiss when she had silently said goodbye before he could leave without doing so; this was the kiss to tell her that he had missed her. That, no matter how much he could say he didn't want to care at all anymore, about anyone, right now he did; he couldn't help it.
Evelyn, at first unsure of what to do, returned the kiss after a moment, unconsciously bringing him closer to her as well. He would be leaving again, she knew, but for now they would make the most of it.