Comments | quiescent: "The only way to have a friend is to be one." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

quiescent

"The only way to have a friend is to be one." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oct 17, 2011 21:01

Hello! So, I'm about to embark on a 10-15 page midterm paper of my choice. The topic I've chosen to write about is:
The strength of internet friendships and its defiance against the stigma associated with the internet and its culture
The exact exploration question is still in the works, but the concept is the same either way. I am going to ( Read more... )

me: public, me: i love my flist!, mood: warm and fuzzy, me: help, school: college

Comments 50

pointblankdarcy October 18 2011, 04:59:17 UTC

I am so sorry that a lot of this is so unclear!

Why is internet friendship looked down upon (think online dating, too)? Why do we feel ashamed ourselves (if we do)?I think that it's mostly because people assume that online relationships (friendships etc) result from an inadequacy to develop "real" social relationships. OL relationships are therefore seen as 'not real' because they're simply not done face-to-face. Also, I think it's because more internet crimes are reported rather than successes (lol the phrasing of this is strange). In general, you hear more about people getting scammed online, about identity theft and such, and so there's a negative association with internet profiles? There is a widespread belief that people tend to exaggerate positive traits and downplay negative traits about themselves online. Deception online is also regarded as being difficult to prove -- internet safety, that's what I meant! (but then again, people can lie irl… I guess it's easier to find out someone's lying to your face rather than online). ( ... )

pointblankdarcy October 18 2011, 12:46:28 UTC

I'm such a rebel, answering these out of order >:D

There's always the distinction between 'online life' and 'real life (RL)'. Should there be? Isn't being online part of real life? Doesn't it influence your body, soul, and mind? Does separating the two only isolate and alienate a person more?I think it might have to do with the fact that a lot of people think 'online' life is a virtual simulation of reality. Not virtual reality per se, but the idea that things online (relationships, games etc) exist in very non-tangible ways, and that a great part of it is in our heads to some extent. So the distinction is, to me, one of tangibility. Reality, with its groundedness and limitations and boundaries and stress. And Online, which is more free in terms of how you can express yourself ( ... )

pointblankdarcy October 18 2011, 14:15:37 UTC

lol I'm running out of steam, but I think I have more to say, so this answer might drag on for some time >.>

How does sending and receiving physical things (letters, postcards, candy, and trinkets) give meaning to your online friendship? What do you feel? How is it different from sending things to someone you met 'in real life'?I think it gives a lot of meaning, because like I've mentioned a lot of people think that online relationships are not real. So it kind of vindicates me a little lol HEY THEY ARE NOT IMAGINARY~ when physical things are exchanged, it makes me feel really happy, like I'm connecting to the person in more ways than just words and stuff. It's different because there is a sense that you are crossing a bridge (I have no idea what I'm saying but leaving it in because it sounds ~profound ( ... )

fancydressmasks October 18 2011, 22:22:11 UTC

I really enjoyed reading your answers, I agree with pretty much everything you've said.

Thread 5

rhetoricians October 18 2011, 05:14:53 UTC

The benefits are, to me, so much more disclosure. You meet people on LJ and are greeted right off with a giant list and post of things about that person. You know a lot more about me because I'm more willing to be myself online, when I can't be judged to my face. (I use "I" in the royal "I" sense, not me necessarily).

I will come back and add more later, but I wanted to throw that out there - you feel more secure with people who know more about you faster!

Okay, let's see if I can be articulate enough to do this xD surmise October 18 2011, 05:25:57 UTC

1. I actually don't know what to think of this. I know I make a distinction between "RL" and just plain being online, though I don't really know why? I mean, I don't use it a lot or anything, except for when I'm talking about something vague- like me saying "Oh, yeah I went to the movies with my friends- my RL friends." I kind of put that "RL" bit in there to distinguish that I didn't meet up with my 'online' friends, 'cause I know some people meet up with people over the net. Another place in which I use RL and 'online' is when I'm specifically talking about someone. I would say something along the lines of, "Oh, yeah I met up with an online friend for the first time, today!" but I would only use it because that's how I met the person, first. I would probably label my RL friends as people that I met through school, and my online friends as people that I met... online. These labels would still stay like that, because even if I meet up with someone in real life, you'd only be physically meeting them for the first time, not them as like ( ... )

part II surmise October 18 2011, 05:26:25 UTC

4. Oh god. I can tell my online friends a lot of shite. I can tell my real life friends a lot of it too, but the fact that I already spend so much time with them, physically, it's kind of nice to have someone that isn't RIGHT THERE NEXT TO YOU ALL THE TIME. You can also complain about your real life friends to people online which is such a big plus, 'cause it's unbiased (usually) and they just give you a pair of fresh eyes to look through, especially in a debate or some such.

5. The downside.. I think a downside to online friends is that a lot of people aren't like how they are irl. I mean, I'm much nicer online than I am irl. Not that I'm NOT nice in real life or anything, but I'm less stand-offish and get to know people much more easier. This may be because I don't do well in large groups of people, and I don't go out of my way to find real life friends- whereas online, if I get into a community (like HiH) then I want to get to know the people that I'll be playing with. I'm not that much different, it's just you get to see the "bad ( ... )

quiescent October 18 2011, 05:29:29 UTC

(negativezeroes) 1) online life is the only constant in my life given that I rarely stay in the same place for more than a year or two. I moved from LA to Berkeley in Jul/Aug and will move from Berkeley to Helsinki in Dec/Jan. also move OUT of Helsinki to (undetermined) NEXT august ( ... )