"The only way to have a friend is to be one." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hello! So, I'm about to embark on a 10-15 page midterm paper of my choice. The topic I've chosen to write about is:
The strength of internet friendships and its defiance against the stigma associated with the internet and its culture
The exact exploration question is still in the works, but the concept is the same either way. I am going to ( Read more... )
The strength of internet friendships and its defiance against the stigma associated with the internet and its culture
The exact exploration question is still in the works, but the concept is the same either way. I am going to ( Read more... )
Why is internet friendship looked down upon (think online dating, too)? Why do we feel ashamed ourselves (if we do)?
I think that it's mostly because people assume that online relationships (friendships etc) result from an inadequacy to develop "real" social relationships. OL relationships are therefore seen as 'not real' because they're simply not done face-to-face. Also, I think it's because more internet crimes are reported rather than successes (lol the phrasing of this is strange). In general, you hear more about people getting scammed online, about identity theft and such, and so there's a negative association with internet profiles? There is a widespread belief that people tend to exaggerate positive traits and downplay negative traits about themselves online. Deception online is also regarded as being difficult to prove -- internet safety, that's what I meant! (but then again, people can lie irl… I guess it's easier to find out someone's lying to your face rather than online). Additionally, internet relationships are mostly based on words, I think, although with Skype/video calling, that can change.
Shame: because of the stigma. It's a vicious cycle tbh. People think it's shameful --> I feel ashamed --> indirectly saying that it IS shameful
What are the benefits of having online friends? (For me, there are many, and an example would be I've become an even more effective communicator, because my friends can only go off of what I write.)
Diversity of opinion: I find that the online community allows me to understand a lot of different perspectives simultaneously. A lot of talk has gone down about how people need to be "citizens of the world", and for me it seems that the education system in particular pushes us to understand "global perspectives". And most of the time, this means going on exchange trips, which is fine, but I do think that the Internet has been underemphasised as a source of these perspectives. It's not about Wikipedia, it's about the relationships you build. For me personally, living in Singapore has its cons. If I don't take advantage of the online world, I might have very few options to really gain this all-important "global perspective". I can't afford to travel overseas every year or so; the other alternative is to watch relevant programmes and read material on these perspectives. Online friendships can help me understand not only the big picture of What Is Going On and the main perspectives that are being covered in the media anyway, they can also provide insights into personal perspectives that may not be synonymous with mainstream beliefs. It is vital to know that there are other valid points of view out there, which may not be accessible irl.
Culture: The diversity of people online means that I'm being exposed to a dozen cultures, which broadens my knowledge and understanding of the world. This brings a cultural element to social relationships online. Again, in Singapore, I might not get the chance irl to have relationships with people with certain backgrounds and experiences.
(I'll add more as I answer them)
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There's always the distinction between 'online life' and 'real life (RL)'. Should there be? Isn't being online part of real life? Doesn't it influence your body, soul, and mind? Does separating the two only isolate and alienate a person more?
I think it might have to do with the fact that a lot of people think 'online' life is a virtual simulation of reality. Not virtual reality per se, but the idea that things online (relationships, games etc) exist in very non-tangible ways, and that a great part of it is in our heads to some extent. So the distinction is, to me, one of tangibility. Reality, with its groundedness and limitations and boundaries and stress. And Online, which is more free in terms of how you can express yourself.
Should there be? Practically speaking, I think a lot people would say yes, to not let OL interfere with RL because OL implies that "it's not real" and that it will somehow cease to exist once I shut down the internet connection. Quite a lot of people won't consciously realise that OL and RL are not mutually exclusive, and that OL is a part of RL. For me, I'm increasingly aware that it's a false dichotomy of sorts. My online life and my real life exist simultaneously, and while they seldom cross paths, they are equally REAL and important to me. I point you to this:
"Tell me one last thing,” said Harry. “Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?”
“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”
IDK whether this distinction will isolate/alienate a person. I'm leaning towards no, but that's me; I've kind of done that for some time and it doesn't really isolate me. I CHOOSE TO BE A LONER >.> However, I think that as technology progresses, this line between OL/RL will blur. I mean, a lot of our time is spent online already, but it doesn't diminish reality in any way. More and more, as people get used to the idea that OL and RL always have coexisted equally really.
What are the pros and cons of meeting an online friend in real life? Does the transparency in how you talk and what you disclose change? Would it get awkward?
OH LOL. I met up with cyyt and ice_evanesco for DH2 during June and it was fun lol. And there was once when I had to lend Cathers something (this was in May or April) for school, and we met up and we spent aaaages talking about HP and DW and school and crap. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. Ngl, I personally found it a little awkward to talk about online things like HiH but it was only for a moment because I'd never spoken to anyone irl about online shizz before. LIBERATINGGGG.
Pros: UHM OTHER THAN OMG I SEE YOUR FACE XD I guess the feeling of familiarity? Like, for me I quite dislike meeting strangers and going through the process of getting to know someone. But if I meet up with an online friend, it helps ease the anxiety, because I feel like I know something about the person. I'd also feel like I don't have to hold back on discussing online things tbh.
Cons: ~STRANGER DANGER~ uhm the awkwardness and anxiety because you don't know if you're gonna measure up to your online persona?
lalalala okay another break while I type some more.
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How does sending and receiving physical things (letters, postcards, candy, and trinkets) give meaning to your online friendship? What do you feel? How is it different from sending things to someone you met 'in real life'?
I think it gives a lot of meaning, because like I've mentioned a lot of people think that online relationships are not real. So it kind of vindicates me a little lol HEY THEY ARE NOT IMAGINARY~ when physical things are exchanged, it makes me feel really happy, like I'm connecting to the person in more ways than just words and stuff. It's different because there is a sense that you are crossing a bridge (I have no idea what I'm saying but leaving it in because it sounds ~profound~)
Okay. Thought this through again. Physical things give meaning because they kind of defy the way society thinks, that people I meet online are not true friends. It's different from giving people irl things because society has already accepted that as the norm. It's natural to give things to people. It's unusual to give things to people who you've never met outside of cyberspace.
In what ways does having an online friendship more fulfilling? Is this even possible? Or, are all friendships the same in fulfillment factor? What are benefits to having online friendships compared to real life friendships? Are there these benefits? How are they satisfied?
I find it fulfilling because of disclosure. I find it more free-ing to express myself to people online, where I don't feel like I'm judged based on my physical attributes. By telling and confiding in people online, I get a kind of catharsis that is the same as what I get if I confide with people irl, but the difference is that some topics are either awkward to talk to people about or are taboo in the first place. I don't talk to my friends about sex and sexuality. I don't talk to my parents about it. Talking about these kind of things OUT LOUD to others is not natural for me. But I can discuss it with online friends because I feel free to discuss it in words without being judged. I don't really know how to explain this.
Fulfilling also because I'm getting to know people through who they are. (Let's ignore the fact that people do lie about themselves online) On LJ, for example, I get glimpses of people's lives as they recount it. I thus get to understand them through their experiences, their language, their emotions etc. Even without a physical face, or maybe /because/ there is no physical interface.
+ here are the two articles I'm analysing right now about literacy 1 and 2. IDK if they will be useful.
+ here is a blog I found that has some interesting points:
http://meloukhia.net/2010/09/my_friends_in_the_internet.html (about creating safe spaces in the internet)
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Online experiences are very diverse in nature. It might be said that the online world is a digital simulation of the real world to a certain extent. Therefore, that might have an impact on how "real" or "strong" online relationships can be. We may know a lot of people irl but only connect with some of them, i.e. acquaintances versus close friends. This is reflected in some of our online experiences, if not most. There was a British study done in 2007 that showed how we have many cyberacquaintances but only about five core friends. They used social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace. So in these cases, there is a proliferation of online relationships but they are weak and rather superficial. Personally, I can see it in the case of FB especially. It's funny how we are using a platform to communicate with a lot of people, but the ties don't really bind? Honestly, I think that most people's online experiences would be on social networking sites like Twitter, FB etc. However, it doesn't stop there. Situations like MMORPGs, forums, blogs are more holistic, imo. Because in those cases, there is a sense of an online community, even though it's imagined (in the sense that members are very different but connect on certain interests). I think that in those scenarios, online relationships are not that superficial, and the experience is broader and more holistic in nature, because it's not just 'liking' a photo and commenting. There is more room for teamwork, discussion and disclosure.
And here I sort of reiterate my points and hopefully talk about stuff that I haven't yakked on~
Tbh I strongly believe that the line is blurring between our "online" and "offline" selves. Society is integrating the digital into reality at an increasing pace. I see in vlogs, in the use of Skype/video calls, the Cons (Leaky, VidCon, ComicCon). Also, we have to take into consideration that "bad" cases are brought up more often than "good" ones. The strength of online friendships don't really make good news >.>
A lot of articles/blogs that I've skimmed through seem to agree that we still prefer face-to-face contact. I guess this is true, because the stronger online friendships/relationships become, the stronger the desire to want to meet online friends in person (therefore the exchange of mail etc).
IDK I think it shows the strength of human relationships. People have called humans a 'social animal', and I definitely agree. The want of contact and connection transcends space and time. The Internet is merely a tool, and we are making use of it, that's all. True, there may be dangers involved, but who says that danger isn't present in our everyday "real" lives as well?
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