Damn, it's been awhile. Seems like I've been neglecting everything lately. I've been letting the pounds and my schoolwork pile up on me to the point where both seem hopeless and unmanageable ( Read more... )

Valentine's Day was lovely...I suppose. Tyler came over for the day...I felt so terrible that I wasn't able to get him anything (not even so much as a simple card) because I'm honestly that broke. In fact, I was unable to go to school on Thursday or Friday for the simple fact that I nor my mother could afford bus fare for me. Yeah, I need a job ( Read more... )

Well, it's been quite some time since I've made an actual entry in here. Life has been...tolerable, I suppose. I'm currently 120 lbs, which is 5 lbs lighter than the weight I was at 5 months ago, but this is a small victory. I dream of getting down to 105 lbs, the weight I used to be before medication took its toll on me. Ah, but my love for junk ( Read more... )

I'm a Heretic!


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I spent the day with Tyler. I gave him his christmas presents (the new Distillers CD and a black Johnny the Homicidal Maniac shirt) and he gave me mine: a whole bunch of lovely candles and candleholders that seem too pretty to burn. I'm certain they were expensive, because they really are beautiful. Damn, I'm cheap and pathetic ( Read more... )

Life since I've gotten home has been pretty quiet. I've been sleeping off the effects of the Anafranil...it drains a lot out of you. There are scabs on my arm from the entry point of the pick-line, and the sutures used to secure the tubing in place for the duration of the 14 days. I've been picking at them, and I fear they've become infected. They' ( Read more... )

I kinda meant to keep this updated, but I have nothing interesting to say and my classmates are damned nosy. Well, tonight is treatment number fourteen, which should be my last one. Freeeeeeeeeeedom! Freedom from the hospital, at least. I'm still a prisoner of my own mind. Maybe it will get better. Maybe this was my last chance, and I'm never going ( Read more... )

The pick-line is in. I was awake for the procedure as they peirced my vein and threaded the tubing up the length of my arm, stopping at my heart. They used a mild anaesthetic, so it was uncomfortable instead of painful. I get my third Anafranil treatment today ( Read more... )

Oh, how I despise this place, with its plexi-glass windows and hospital smells. On the brighter side of things, the ward has been completely renovated. It is now a pleasant shade of blue with matching furniture and trim. There are now two day rooms; one for the run-of-the-mill nutcases and another for the violent and creepy patients that pose a ( Read more... )

I'm going to be admitted on Monday at 9:00 am. I'll be receiving another intravenous Anafranil treatment, like the one I had in February ( Read more... )