is misery made beautiful right before our eyes

[aunomdedieu]

Characters: aunomdedieu and OPEN.
Date: Backdated to midday, May 26th.
Summary: Caprica returns to the Gardens.
Warnings: Angst and emotional confusion? Spoilers for BSG season three, I guess. Shouldn't be anything else, but I'll warn if it comes up.

Comments

[lovelikelight]

It is among the trees that Epsilon finds Caprica walking. The woman seems lost in thought. If that were all, perhaps Epsilon would not disturb her, but she has a distressed air, and Epsilon can tell that something is wrong, though she has no idea what that could be, or how grave a problem it is. She remembers that Caprica was said to have left the Gardens, but now she is here again.

Epsilon knows the woman, if not well, and so she moves toward her, approaching to a distance close enough to catch Caprica's attention, but far enough away that if Caprica wishes to be alone, she can retreat politely after a brief exchange.

"Good afternoon, Caprica." She doesn't say that it's good she's returned, as people have varying relationships with the Gardens and with their home worlds. "I'm pleased to see you again. It's been some time. Were you lost in the Wild Places, or did you go home?"

[aunomdedieu]

When she's walking through the forested parts of the Gardens, it's easy to believe she is somewhere else - in one of her own projections, perhaps. That illusion is shattered the moment she is addressed, the voice familiar. She goes still, glancing up.

"Epsilon." It's probably an indication of her level of upset that she doesn't smile as she normally would. Her voice is quiet, not unfriendly, but even. "I went home, for a while."

This is probably the one person in the Gardens she could tell about what's wrong, or parts of it. The parts of it that have to do with not being human, and not knowing what she should be feeling. Not knowing what she should want. But she's unsure how much she wants to say, if anything right now.

[lovelikelight]

She smiles, gently. "Your friend Dominique mentioned that you left. She seemed to believe you would not be returning. I imagine she'll be glad to see you again."

Epsilon guesses that leaving the Gardens and then returning to them must be disorienting, so she offers information, neutral and grounding. She does not have a great deal to report. "I'm not sure exactly when you left, but it's been quiet here. Since the robots returned to their home, we haven't heard from the Queen. There have been few developments, aside from more people leaving and arriving. Two of the young women here made an ocean, and it's been causing some slight problems with its side effects for the past few days."

She is not one to press unduly, but she asks, in case Caprica wishes to tell her, "How was home?" A simple, polite question, but if Caprica wishes to talk, she can.

backtags backtags~ also I am sorry for the tl;dr, this tag ran away from me. :x

[aunomdedieu]

There's a little tension in her expression when she hears Epsilon refer to Dominique as her friend. It's not that it's untrue - at least, Caprica does not think it is. But it's the reminder - she has ties here, relationships. Things she doesn't know if she should want for herself. Epsilon is... a little different perhaps, she's more like Caprica herself in the nature of her being, but Dominique and Jackie are human. And in her own world, humans are the enemy. Caprica had tried to create a place where the nature of that relationship was different, where human and Cylon could live together in peace, and she had failed. Catastrophically. The memory of New Caprica, the death and devastation on both sides still leaves a bitter taste in her mouth

it's all right--i enjoy tl;dr! :3

[lovelikelight]

Epsilon nods, understanding the Not good. Though she does not know the specifics behind it, she knows too well how painful the lives that the residents of the Gardens have left behind can be. "I am sorry, Caprica." She is not as sophisticated at reading people as Gesicht was, for she is no police robot, but she can feel Caprica's distress in her reactions, her breathing

excellent XD

[aunomdedieu]

At the apology, Caprica just inclines her head a little bit in acknowledgment. Epsilon doesn't need to be sorry, it isn't as if it was her fault, but... it is the same sentiment Caprica would have expressed herself were their situations reversed, and so she accepts it gracefully.

She starts walking again as Epsilon speaks, intending for the other woman to walk alongside her; she is too restless to stand still for very long. Epsilon's situation seems different; there seems to be peace, for the most part, between humans and robots. But it's not unlike the Colonies, either, not entirely. After the first Cylon War and the armistice, the research and creation of artificial intelligence was banned to prevent further disaster. And the Cylons had been created originally for use as weapons, soldiers in petty wars the humans fought among themselves.

"But there's peace, in your world. Between robots and humans." She pauses a moment, then clarifies quietly, "It isn't like that, where I come from."

That is, perhaps, a vast understatement.

[lovelikelight]

She walks with Caprica, equally content to move or remain still. Caprica speaks of peace, and Epsilon is thoughtful. Peace is something she wants, and it could describe the situation in the past, but other memories are more recent, more striking: her father, torn apart. Gesicht's last moment of hatred, the memory still stored within her, replayed so many times, as if she could find some kind of answer in it. She only found hatred

[aunomdedieu]

I've come to believe that it wasn't a good idea to make us so similar.

That statement catches Caprica a little, because it's something she has wondered about herself in the past. Wondered if it was a good idea for the Cylons to recreate themselves in a form so very similar to humanity, with everything attendant on that - emotions, desires, failings. Would it be easier for her if she couldn't feel sadness, anger, love, happiness?

And then she always dismisses that question, because Caprica has never done the easier thing and because it is essentially a ridiculous question. The pain and the joy alike are a gift from God. She isn't like Cavil, who despises every flaw and weakness of his humanoid form. Those things are part of life, living, being alive, and that's something she clings to despite everything. She is alive, no matter how much the humans would like to believe she and her siblings are just machines

[lovelikelight]

Epsilon takes the information in with less surprise than a human might. Her emotions are different than a human's, and more controlled. At last, she nods