You draw the gray area between good and evil very well in this piece. I also like the fact that Claire is befuddled by Xander. I find it interesting that you are writing scenes of a larger story by connecting all the prompts. Good luck with this!
Thanks! I hope that ends up paying off in the end (connecting the prompts) They just fit so perfectly in with this story in my head. The problem I'm having with the story as a whole is that I am writing various scenes that are set at various times in the story, but I've yet to write the beginning, which is very frustrating for me. The introduction or beginning of any piece, for me, is what sets the tone for the story as a whole. If I don't have the beginning, I feel like the story has nothing to navigate with. So, I'm having to go back and set the beginning according to what I've written so far, which is completely backwards for me. I have an idea about how the beginning is going to go, but having really written it down yet. Hopefully I'll be able to do that.
Re: Editor checking inqafanJanuary 28 2009, 05:28:22 UTC
Ok, thanks so much for the input here. I do realize that the language can go a little overboard at times. I usually try to trim that down in the proceeding drafts. I tend to get into it and it gets away from me. Thanks for point it out though!
-death- LJ just ate my commenttttt. Ummmm. Crap. Okay here I go for take-two! ;;;;
Anyways, I'm your second editor for this past week. Sorry for the delay--I wasn't aware that I had been assigned editing.
It's an interesting take on a familiar story. I went back and skimmed over your previous entries to get more of an idea for the characters and to figure out their situations a bit.
I agree a lot with what weirdauntie said about the use of adverbs and watching where it gets too wordy. There are a few passages in your narrative that it happens to, asides from the one she pointed out. Like you had said, you end up just getting carried away while writing. Just make sure you go back and check for any excess language that can be taken out when you do your own edits at a later point!
Also, and I was just curious, why did it change from Zander to Xander?
quietly, “As: You do this a few times (and a friend of mine used to do it a lot) but you don't need to put a comma. The previous phrase has been finished, and the new quote starts a new
( ... )
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Thanks! I hope that ends up paying off in the end (connecting the prompts) They just fit so perfectly in with this story in my head. The problem I'm having with the story as a whole is that I am writing various scenes that are set at various times in the story, but I've yet to write the beginning, which is very frustrating for me. The introduction or beginning of any piece, for me, is what sets the tone for the story as a whole. If I don't have the beginning, I feel like the story has nothing to navigate with. So, I'm having to go back and set the beginning according to what I've written so far, which is completely backwards for me. I have an idea about how the beginning is going to go, but having really written it down yet. Hopefully I'll be able to do that.
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Anyways, I'm your second editor for this past week. Sorry for the delay--I wasn't aware that I had been assigned editing.
It's an interesting take on a familiar story. I went back and skimmed over your previous entries to get more of an idea for the characters and to figure out their situations a bit.
I agree a lot with what weirdauntie said about the use of adverbs and watching where it gets too wordy. There are a few passages in your narrative that it happens to, asides from the one she pointed out. Like you had said, you end up just getting carried away while writing. Just make sure you go back and check for any excess language that can be taken out when you do your own edits at a later point!
Also, and I was just curious, why did it change from Zander to Xander?
quietly, “As: You do this a few times (and a friend of mine used to do it a lot) but you don't need to put a comma. The previous phrase has been finished, and the new quote starts a new ( ... )
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