I haven't posted in ages. There was no plan behind this, it was mostly the effect of being busy and then the internet on my computer being down for the last month or so. It's still down, but I've moved it into the other room and plugged it into the wall. You could argue, of course, that I could do this more often, but I don't like updating my ( Read more... )

So where are we now? Week three? Week four? One of those. I'm not dead yet. I still don't know if I'll make it, but it hasn't been so bad and I have reason to hope. Shea seems abruptly very far away, and this is sad, but useful. Significant others can be ever-so-distracting. College aps seem suddenly very close, and this is unnerving and ( Read more... )

Second day of the second week, the pain was really bad today. I only had two classes, I didn't have to go to school until eleven, I got nye on twelve hours of sleep last night. But none of that seemed to make a difference. I spent the day in dark goggles and my beautiful new 92% noise-canceling headphones. I can't take the headphones off at ( Read more... )

I need to remember not to think about things too hard. I'll invariably make myself cry. Sometimes I come to unwanted, inevitable conclusions about my future. I realize why I want time to stop so badly, why I want the summer to go on forever ( Read more... )

I don't wanna do college research god dammit! I know I need to, and I need to soon, or else I won't be able to take a college tour this summer and therefore won't get the chance and won't have a clue where I want to go. But my head hurts! So much! And it's a beautiful day outside! And I wanna call my boyfriend and take a walk in the sunshine ( Read more... )

I'm really not prepped for any kind of interesting rant right now, but I thought I'd generally post an update of the state of life ( Read more... )

My head has been trying to kill me again. After a rather long suspension of reality, it is reminding me that having a migraine 24/7 is shit. It really is- it's total shit. I shouldn't be dealing with this, no part of this is okay ( Read more... )

I reverted back to being six last night. My head hurt so much I couldn't sleep, so after a couple of hours I took another morphine. Before it took effect the pain got so bad I started crying. Then I felt pathetic curled up in my bed crying to myself, so I wandered into my parents room. I wanted to be six again, to have them give me a little ( Read more... )

I got kinda bored of all my old icons on LJ, so I made six new ones and took all the old ones out. I decided to make them like emotocons, except with my expressions, as it is, in fact, my journal. So I searched for good expressions from all the photos of me on Facebook. I made a few more than this, but these were the best. I'm... girlish and ( Read more... )

Two weeks. The mad rush to the finish feels kinda good- I'm too busy to feel anxious about how busy I am. As long as I'm working every waking minute, I have nothing to feel guilty about ( Read more... )