After a long pause in conversation
I haven't posted in ages. There was no plan behind this, it was mostly the effect of being busy and then the internet on my computer being down for the last month or so. It's still down, but I've moved it into the other room and plugged it into the wall. You could argue, of course, that I could do this more often, but I don't like updating my journal in the midst of the bustle of the house.
When I finally checked journals here, my 20-friend-entry quota was already filled with entries I hadn't read, so I went to the individual pages of people who update consistently and caught up with them (you guys) that way. Then I came to a rather unsettling realization: I'm not on Cheese's friend list anymore. I thought it was weird that she didn't update anymore, but it never occurred to me that she'd blocked me. I know she has her reasons, that she probably had numerous Thomas-related posts, and having his little sister read them would be, well, bad. But I also know that there are still hurt feelings as to my standing on the breakup, and... I don't know, I've felt like she's been avoiding me for months, and I guess this confirms it. Cheese has always been dear to me, now... well now I'm crying. Damn it- this is why I don't do entries out here. Cheese, you made me cry! Don't tell her though, it's not a subject that needs to be re-opened, it's done enough damage to everyone involved.
Right, so, the reason I was actually writing this. The headaches have gotten a little better, which is reason for some hope. I'm still taking two MS Contin a day and in constant pain though, so things aren't exactly peachy. I had an Oxford interview and test a couple weeks ago in Vancouver, and they seemed to go well. I'll know by Christmas. Meanwhile, I'm applying to UCs and other US colleges, and I've started a sweater company with Brian (greenINK- check us out on Facebook!)
I really want to do the MV spring show- Midsummer, and it looks like I will be able to, so I'm really really thrilled about that. Life has just been so empty without drama to fill it with life. It's been a pattern of sleep, homework, sleep, and waiting for Shea to return. Which he does in a week, and I can't wait.
When I finally checked journals here, my 20-friend-entry quota was already filled with entries I hadn't read, so I went to the individual pages of people who update consistently and caught up with them (you guys) that way. Then I came to a rather unsettling realization: I'm not on Cheese's friend list anymore. I thought it was weird that she didn't update anymore, but it never occurred to me that she'd blocked me. I know she has her reasons, that she probably had numerous Thomas-related posts, and having his little sister read them would be, well, bad. But I also know that there are still hurt feelings as to my standing on the breakup, and... I don't know, I've felt like she's been avoiding me for months, and I guess this confirms it. Cheese has always been dear to me, now... well now I'm crying. Damn it- this is why I don't do entries out here. Cheese, you made me cry! Don't tell her though, it's not a subject that needs to be re-opened, it's done enough damage to everyone involved.
Right, so, the reason I was actually writing this. The headaches have gotten a little better, which is reason for some hope. I'm still taking two MS Contin a day and in constant pain though, so things aren't exactly peachy. I had an Oxford interview and test a couple weeks ago in Vancouver, and they seemed to go well. I'll know by Christmas. Meanwhile, I'm applying to UCs and other US colleges, and I've started a sweater company with Brian (greenINK- check us out on Facebook!)
I really want to do the MV spring show- Midsummer, and it looks like I will be able to, so I'm really really thrilled about that. Life has just been so empty without drama to fill it with life. It's been a pattern of sleep, homework, sleep, and waiting for Shea to return. Which he does in a week, and I can't wait.