I say this with enormous respect. You have grabbed yourself by the scruff of the neck and fixed a problem that you saw several years ago. Hooray for you. All of what follows is "in my opinion" -- and based solely, really, on the image of yourself that you paint here (and on facebook, but online; we have never met IRL)
But as you say, the pendulum seems to have swung too far the other way. Today you're anxious about missing a gym workout because you have employment work to do in the middle of the work day? This is symptomatic of way-misplaced priorities, I would say.
You are now driving yourself to do the exercise thing to the point that it is crowding out desired and happy-making parts of your life. I don't think you actually like it at the gym. You complain about the salad of disappointment that this regime imposes. You whinge about the gym here, you mutter imprecations about the other people there, you complain about physical aches and pains, and you continue with "Psycho Trainer Boy" who will be brutal to you. Do you
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Given my brain disorder, it is the only thing I have found that adjusts the chemical balance in my brain to […] Bingo.
When I was in grad-school, I found that my brain worked better on the days that I worked out in the morning. Exercise is very good for the brain, and for those of us with mood disorders.
Recently, I've found that I sleep better on days when I've been outside splitting wood or doing some other form of physical activity.
I suspect that your various pains are more to do with the indignities of having a body that's a decade or two older than what your brain thinks it is. ^_^
Your friend Chris relates some good advice. Being able to live happily in the present - not regretting what might have been, or fretting about what's coming - is an a big part of mental and emotional health.
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But as you say, the pendulum seems to have swung too far the other way. Today you're anxious about missing a gym workout because you have employment work to do in the middle of the work day? This is symptomatic of way-misplaced priorities, I would say.
You are now driving yourself to do the exercise thing to the point that it is crowding out desired and happy-making parts of your life. I don't think you actually like it at the gym. You complain about the salad of disappointment that this regime imposes. You whinge about the gym here, you mutter imprecations about the other people there, you complain about physical aches and pains, and you continue with "Psycho Trainer Boy" who will be brutal to you. Do you ( ... )
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Bingo.
When I was in grad-school, I found that my brain worked better on the days that I worked out in the morning. Exercise is very good for the brain, and for those of us with mood disorders.
Recently, I've found that I sleep better on days when I've been outside splitting wood or doing some other form of physical activity.
I suspect that your various pains are more to do with the indignities of having a body that's a decade or two older than what your brain thinks it is. ^_^
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*flee*
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