A Transition (Warning: rambling self conceit ahead)

[pseudophonist]

On thursday I went to the CCQN quiz night at uni, and saw a few familiar faces. In and amongst the awful jokes, negotiating answers with obstinate team members and fighting for reason; I realised something pretty critical.

I don't belong there anymore.

This realisation, that I'm finished with uni should probably have happened a while ago, but in true

Comments

[toast_is_lovely]

love your thoughts, love you.

[pseudophonist]

Have I ever mentioned that you're brilliant? I'm half tearing up but you've made me smile :')

[miconazole]

Bhavik

You're a lovely person and you'll figure out your place again soon enough. I think some personality types find it very easy to totally assimilate themselves into whichever social groups or subcultures they identify with and some others will always hang a little more on the periphery. Maybe your background sets you apart from most people, since there aren't a lot like you. Maybe you value your individuality too much. Maybe you're a little jealous of the rest of them carrying on like always while you've moved on but you don't need to be. You're an individual and there's good things in your future too and you're going to do your own thing.

[pseudophonist]

I'm not to upset by having moved on... this post was more in the nature of exploring the reasons I fealt that way.

Meanwhile, I am missing you!

[rotagen]

I was never really that close to anyone in my course other than you and Damien and, you know what? It doesn't matter! You take away friends from any experience and not everyone is worth your time. If you're feeling socially isolated now that you're out of uni, that's a different matter with a different solution: go out and do things! EDH and NPH prerelease are easy solutions, but you could also just hold a movie night or go clubbing or start a sport. The world is your oyster! ;)

[pseudophonist]

I don't feel too socially isolated, having moved into my work social scene fairly smoothly. I did think it was interesting that the nature of the relationship I have with many work people is just stronger than a lot of people I thought I had a connection with at uni (especially the queer dept).

I do, I guess, miss that feeling of connection; having that catalyst of common attachment to the queer dept to drive these relationships, but its something i'm learning to do without (or have substituted with the work connection). I suppose this isn't that unusual, most people's friends can be inscribed within circles (i.e. Magic friends, Uni friends, Work friends, Queer Friends, etc)

Just out of curiousity, have you heard from Damien at all, recently?

[rotagen]

Nope. I keep telling myself I'm going to drop him a line some day, but I never do. :(