Let's Play Fate/Stay Night
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Fate Chapter 1: Shirou Emiya is a Man
I am the bone of my sword.
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades.
Unknown to death,
Nor known to life.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
Yet those hands will never hold anything.
So as I pray, Unlimited Blade Works.
We have a main menu now! That means the prologue is behind us, and it's time to swap main characters for good. Mostly.
ROUTE 1 ENGAGE
As before, we start with a flashback.
My past sucks, apparently. Fire and explosions everywhere. And only me alive! Let's see how long we can keep that up.
You should really get used to me being almost dead. Because it will happen a lot from here on out.
Will our intrepid hero die basically during the opening credits?
The answer is no, this is a flashback so that wouldn't make sense.
"The hospital?! What is it?"
"It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."
Somehow, I survive, and live to be a sad sad orphan and get adopted by a hobo.
Oh wait, did I say hobo?
I MEANT A WIZARD
Dumb kid that I am, I of course immediately believe him, and change my name to become his son. I am now
SHIROU EMIYA
Who I already intro'd.
Anyway!
January 31st
I start my day as I start most of my days: Sleeping in a shed while a beautiful woman watches me sleep. Such is the life of Shirou Emiya.
To recap the rest of that backstory: Dad's dead. I... I think that's about most of it.
First Girl Wins rule comes to mind here, although which girl is first is hard to define, since Saber was at the start of the prologue, and then Rin met Shirou during the Prologue, but he was already talking to Issei at the time, so!
The reason I slept in a shack was because I was up late doing.... something, in the shack. It's full of manly stuff like tools and furnaces, so I'm sure my hobbies are totally awesome.
Wow, even the tiny recap I gave you was too much. Anyway, yes, I live alone in a big house. Alone with my harem.
Now, I can either dick around with my manly tools and stoves and shit, or I can help Sakura make breakfast.
Cooking sounds suspiciously like work for womanfolk, so FUCK THAT
>I'll go and finish my daily routine.
Turns out my daily routine doesn't involve building machines from steel and manly sweat, but it DOES involve learning how to punch a man in half with my bare hands. I continue doing situps and stuff until it is FOODEATIN' TIME!
Sakura and I eat lunch and talk about our Childhood Friend plot connection for a while, until I am POISONED
WHO COULD THE MURDERER BE
Taiga "FUCK YEAH" Fujimura also lives here, yes. Her reasons for tricking me into eating terrible food combinations basically amount to "trollolololololololol."
So this is Shirou's current Acting Harem, with a paltry size of two. Surely I can do better!
And I will.
You know, just once, in ANYTHING, I'd like to see a gas leak actually just be a gas leak. It'd be so refreshing.
TO SCHOOL
Here's your map! It's all you're getting.
Time to go check on whatever club it is I'm in with Issei, I guess!
I should probably mention that there isn't actually a secret gay ending in Fate/Stay Night.
But it's not for lack of Issei trying.
Otsensibly this is the Student Council, but Issei and I just go around fixin' stuff for a while while talking about boring shit. I herd Issei out of the room before fixing a heater, ostensibly because it's delicate work, but...
It's actually WIZARD WORK.
This is Shirou's only good spell, "strengthening." It's like a buff, but it only works on inanimate objects.
Yeah, uh, I'm a pretty shitty magus.
Repairs done, back out!
OH HEY IS THIS LOOKING FAMILIAR YET.
Also, time for another intro!
Rin "It's not like I like you or anything" Tohsaka
The rest of the conversation follows the normal rules: Rin acts like a pretty pretty princess, Issei hates girls. I comment on Rin being up early for no reason.
Is it class time now?
NO
IT'S DOUCHEBAG O'CLOCK
The weirdest thing about Shirou's CR with Shinji is that they're apparently supposed to have been friends up until now. And Shinji is supposed to be popular with the ladies.
With no further ado, my homeroom teacher, Professor FUCK YEAH, careens into the room at a random angle, knocking herself half-unconscious.
Time for a revive incantation!
One
Two
Three!
WAKE UP TIGER
Check. Fujimura, see, hates being called Tiger. For... some reason.
Yada yada school school blah blah.
The day ends, and Issei wants to desperately build up more Shirou Points by hanging out after school, but I might want to go to my part-time job...
Eh, I'll give the man the benefit of doubt. It will make breaking his maidenly heart all the more satisfying later or something.
>I'll go and help out the student council.
Poor Issei. You're just a side character nobody cares about.
Time to go home!
Well this is normal, right?
R-Right?
TO BE CONTINUED
<< | ^^ | >>
Fate Chapter 1: Shirou Emiya is a Man
I am the bone of my sword.
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades.
Unknown to death,
Nor known to life.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
Yet those hands will never hold anything.
So as I pray, Unlimited Blade Works.
We have a main menu now! That means the prologue is behind us, and it's time to swap main characters for good. Mostly.
ROUTE 1 ENGAGE
As before, we start with a flashback.
My past sucks, apparently. Fire and explosions everywhere. And only me alive! Let's see how long we can keep that up.
You should really get used to me being almost dead. Because it will happen a lot from here on out.
Will our intrepid hero die basically during the opening credits?
The answer is no, this is a flashback so that wouldn't make sense.
"The hospital?! What is it?"
"It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."
Somehow, I survive, and live to be a sad sad orphan and get adopted by a hobo.
Oh wait, did I say hobo?
I MEANT A WIZARD
Dumb kid that I am, I of course immediately believe him, and change my name to become his son. I am now
SHIROU EMIYA
Who I already intro'd.
Anyway!
January 31st
I start my day as I start most of my days: Sleeping in a shed while a beautiful woman watches me sleep. Such is the life of Shirou Emiya.
To recap the rest of that backstory: Dad's dead. I... I think that's about most of it.
First Girl Wins rule comes to mind here, although which girl is first is hard to define, since Saber was at the start of the prologue, and then Rin met Shirou during the Prologue, but he was already talking to Issei at the time, so!
The reason I slept in a shack was because I was up late doing.... something, in the shack. It's full of manly stuff like tools and furnaces, so I'm sure my hobbies are totally awesome.
Wow, even the tiny recap I gave you was too much. Anyway, yes, I live alone in a big house. Alone with my harem.
Now, I can either dick around with my manly tools and stoves and shit, or I can help Sakura make breakfast.
Cooking sounds suspiciously like work for womanfolk, so FUCK THAT
>I'll go and finish my daily routine.
Turns out my daily routine doesn't involve building machines from steel and manly sweat, but it DOES involve learning how to punch a man in half with my bare hands. I continue doing situps and stuff until it is FOODEATIN' TIME!
Sakura and I eat lunch and talk about our Childhood Friend plot connection for a while, until I am POISONED
WHO COULD THE MURDERER BE
Taiga "FUCK YEAH" Fujimura also lives here, yes. Her reasons for tricking me into eating terrible food combinations basically amount to "trollolololololololol."
So this is Shirou's current Acting Harem, with a paltry size of two. Surely I can do better!
And I will.
You know, just once, in ANYTHING, I'd like to see a gas leak actually just be a gas leak. It'd be so refreshing.
TO SCHOOL
Here's your map! It's all you're getting.
Time to go check on whatever club it is I'm in with Issei, I guess!
I should probably mention that there isn't actually a secret gay ending in Fate/Stay Night.
But it's not for lack of Issei trying.
Otsensibly this is the Student Council, but Issei and I just go around fixin' stuff for a while while talking about boring shit. I herd Issei out of the room before fixing a heater, ostensibly because it's delicate work, but...
It's actually WIZARD WORK.
This is Shirou's only good spell, "strengthening." It's like a buff, but it only works on inanimate objects.
Yeah, uh, I'm a pretty shitty magus.
Repairs done, back out!
OH HEY IS THIS LOOKING FAMILIAR YET.
Also, time for another intro!
Rin "It's not like I like you or anything" Tohsaka
The rest of the conversation follows the normal rules: Rin acts like a pretty pretty princess, Issei hates girls. I comment on Rin being up early for no reason.
Is it class time now?
NO
IT'S DOUCHEBAG O'CLOCK
The weirdest thing about Shirou's CR with Shinji is that they're apparently supposed to have been friends up until now. And Shinji is supposed to be popular with the ladies.
With no further ado, my homeroom teacher, Professor FUCK YEAH, careens into the room at a random angle, knocking herself half-unconscious.
Time for a revive incantation!
One
Two
Three!
WAKE UP TIGER
Check. Fujimura, see, hates being called Tiger. For... some reason.
Yada yada school school blah blah.
The day ends, and Issei wants to desperately build up more Shirou Points by hanging out after school, but I might want to go to my part-time job...
Eh, I'll give the man the benefit of doubt. It will make breaking his maidenly heart all the more satisfying later or something.
>I'll go and help out the student council.
Poor Issei. You're just a side character nobody cares about.
Time to go home!
Well this is normal, right?
R-Right?
TO BE CONTINUED
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