[Audio/Video]

[prodigal_axe]

[You are treated to a sight from the twilight zone. Indeed, Shinjiro, your resident barkeep, is ~smiling.~ Is that genuine drugged happiness in his eyes?

Oh yeah, and his pet keese bat thing is sitting on the bartop. It is NOT smiling, it is bearing its fangs, but Shinjiro is petting it in full view of everyone in the bar and video.]What the hell

Comments

[loyal_cube]

Stop smiling. You look terrible. I hate it when you're like this!

Uh...[yea, wtf indeed]

I mean, seeing you happy upsets me.

[prodigal_axe]

I'd stop if I could, but I guess I've got no choice. I bet it's gonna upset me later too.

[Dreamily taking a shot of vodka.]

What about you? You alright--been worried about you.

[loyal_cube]

You can stop. You just don't want to, right? You should never smile. Ever.

[Biting his lip, looking very concerned]

I'm feeling great! I've not a care int he world. I've been home, making a mess, as usual.

[prodigal_axe]

You're right. I don't want to...there's not much to smile about around here.

No way. You weren't even messy as a dog. I don't believe that.

[pilot_princess]

Why are you laughing?

Today's the worst day ever and you're... you're laughing!

[prodigal_axe]

Like I said, I think it's the candy.

What happened? Whatever it is, I'll try to fix it like I always do.

[pilot_princess]

You can't fix it, you can never fix it!

[There's a sob, of despair... and candy crinkling.]

[prodigal_axe]

...that's how I feel most of the time. But, it's not gonna stop me from trying.

[And normally he would not be saying that in such a cheery tone. Or at all.]

Wait a minute. What're you eating?

[pursuestruth]

Such rare emotion, Shinjiro-san. How refreshing, like a spring breeze. It gladdens my heart to see your gentle smile.

Uh...

[prodigal_axe]

It's rare alright. I don't remember the last time I even wanted to smile.

...so how come you sound like a greeting card?

[pursuestruth]

You ought smile more oft'n. Perhaps days are rainy, but it will be no weight on you if you're happy.

I believe it was the candy that cursed me with this wretched way of speech! I cannot stop, though my cheeks burn hotly with embarrassment. I'm not sure why I am narrating myself out loud, but regardless, I do so anyway.

[prodigal_axe]

That ain't so. The weight on me isn't gonna go away, no matter what. So I've gotten used to it.

...you ate those too, huh? I bet the Scientists are having a damn good laugh right about now.

[elects]

…Ha?

[prodigal_axe]

[And he laughs back at you.]

[elects]

So it's gotten you, too?

[prodigal_axe]

I'm never eatin' candy again, I swear.

What about you?

[cantsaygao]

Uryu? Why shutting up?

[prodigal_axe]

I wouldn't normally say that stuff. Guess I'm usually embarrassed or something.

...see, this is why I shouldn't keep talking.

[cantsaygao]

Shouldn't feel embarrassed. Uryu.

[prodigal_axe]

Must be easier for some people...

Who are you? I don't remember seein' this frequency before?