Symmetry 7b: End of the Circle
Title: Symmetry 7b: End of the Circle
Author:princess72385
Pairings/Characters: Logan/Veronica, Duncan (mentions of: Duncan/OC and Veronica/Duncan)
Word Count: 4,906 (4,810 without lyrics)
Rating: R (a little bit of language and little bit of violence)
Summary: There are similarities to the past and now. History always repeats itself, whether we realize it or not and breaking the circle is always the most difficult part of it all.
Spoilers/Warnings: Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes)
Future Fic
Disclaimer: None of it’s mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don’t sue, because I have nothing and it’d be a waste of both our time. The Song is By Your Side by Sade
Chapter 1: Everything Has It's Beginning... And It's End
Chapter 2: Leave My Heart Behind
Chapter 3a: When It's All Unraveling
Chapter 3b:When It's All Unraveling
Chapter 4a:The Lines That Cross
Chapter 4b: The Lines That Cross
Chapter 4.5:Almost Had It
Chapter 5: Everything You're Running From
Chapter 5.5: Steal the Night
Chapter 6:Wrap the Night Around Me
Chapter 7a: End of the Circle
A/N: Here’s the second part… enjoy.
Symmetry
7b
End of the Circle
Veronica stared at Logan’s plate sitting across the table from her. His food was getting colder by the second and would have to be thrown out soon, there’s no way he could eat it now. No way she could eat hers either, she thought as her eyes drifted to her own plate in front of her. She hadn’t even taken a single bite, and neither had he. Fifty dollars of food gone to waste. Hopefully it wouldn’t be a day of wedding plans, hundreds of dollars spent on it and her heart gone to waste. Hopefully Logan would be able to at least forgive her enough to stay with her.
“I didn’t.” Veronica said aloud to the empty kitchen, her voice barely audible. And she hadn’t. She hadn’t been able to forgive Logan enough to stay with him when he did the same thing to her. She hadn’t been able to forgive him for Madison for over a year, and it had taken another year and a half for them to reconcile. Veronica didn’t want to wait that long to be with him. But if she was honest with herself she knew he was totally justified in walking.
Duncan was Logan’s Madison.
Worse. Duncan was still friends with Logan, even if he was fake about it. And even worse than that was the fact that Duncan had been the cause of their last breakup and a sore point before that. He was an ex-boyfriend. Duncan was worse than Madison. Logan had every right to walk out on her and never speak to her again. It’s not like he was speaking to her now. It would have been better if he yelled, she had been prepared for that. But silence scared her, silence was when he was unpredictable.
Veronica took a deep breath and stood, her chair squeaking as it slid across the floor before it made a loud clatter when it fell. After the echo of the sound died, she finally released the breath. She was going to march into that bedroom and start in on him. She would badger and pester until he finally started yelling. After she got him yelling she would wheedle him into fighting for their relationship. Maybe he wouldn’t cancel their wedding, just postpone it or even go through with it in a month like they had planned. Maybe.
Veronica turned and began taking long and confident strides towards her bedroom door, not letting her hesitance at this action falter her footsteps.
She had gotten halfway before the loud knocking sounded from the front door. It sounded like they were trying to break down the door.
~*~
Duncan’s face hurt as he drove towards the beach house. It was an old and familiar road, a road he had taken several times on his way to Logan’s house since Veronica’s return.
Veronica’s return.
She was like some great and epic story, his Veronica. She was like this mythical queen that went away to fight legendary battles like a man, and return home greater than ever. A hero and no longer just a queen, but a goddess. That was what Veronica was now, a goddess. She had grown up and grown out of being permanently on the defense, grown to accommodate the man she was with. He had seen it when she was with Max. Veronica had accommodated him in almost anything he asked of her. It was unfair that Logan get that when Duncan had been forced to deal with prickly and defensive Veronica Mars all throughout their last relationship.
Logan had never deserved her. Not when they were young, before Lilly died. Duncan had seen the way Logan had looked at her then. It may not have been the lustful gazes that he sent Lilly’s way, but in a way they were worse. Logan wasn’t different from any other guy in school. Lilly was the girl all the guys wanted, the perfect girl. Veronica was the girlfriend they all wanted, the perfect girlfriend. Logan had wanted her and Duncan would be damned if he let him get something that was so clearly marked for Duncan. Of course Logan had backed down.
Logan didn’t deserve her Junior year of high school when he had her, and he definitely didn’t deserve her Senior year after he lost her. They never should have pulled their relationship into college, it just stunted them and hadn’t allowed them to grow up and apart. Which would have worked much better for him than what did happen. If they hadn’t been together their Senior year at Hearst then they wouldn’t be in this situation.
Duncan took the corner too sharply and felt his back tires slide, heard them squeal over the pavement. Duncan tapped on his breaks lightly, it wouldn’t do for him to arrive dead. That wouldn’t get him anything but a funeral, and he was too close to getting everything for that.
Finally, after passing all the familiar landmarks, Duncan arrived and parked in Veronica and Logan’s driveway. He slid off the leather seat and swung his keys around wildly as he slammed his car door shut. Jogging up the front walkway to the door Duncan wondered what they were doing, seeing as most of the lights in the house were off. Raising his hand he began to pound on the heavy door in front of him, not sure who he wanted to answer.
His hand was starting to hurt from the force in which he was knocking when the door swung open, and angry Veronica standing on the other side.
“What?” she demanded, her tiny body seeming to take up all the space in the foyer.
~*~
Logan lay back on the bed, his mind racing with thoughts. He couldn’t help turning his head to gaze at the wide expanse of the mattress to his right. He couldn’t stop picturing it, like he had done Senior year of high school.
Veronica and Duncan. Having sex.
It was a vision he would do anything to get rid of, but could think of nothing to expel it. Every time he blinked they had changed positions. How was he ever going to get over this, past this, if he saw it every time he closed his eyes? How could he be with Veronica if he thought about it constantly?
Shifting to his side so he was facing the left, he turned his back on the majority of the bed. Maybe if he didn’t see the mattress it wouldn’t taunt him with vision of his fiancée and his ex-best friend. His ex-friend.
It seemed to work, no more sex visions and Logan finally began thinking.
He hadn’t pushed her into it completely, but he had allowed Veronica to walk though that door of cheating. Logan had left her with very little reasoning, and she hadn’t ever recovered from it. She had been unhappy the years following their last breakup and Logan was all too familiar with the stupid and harmful things one could do when they’re unhappy. He was lucky she hadn’t burned anything down or started any gang wars.
A quick and satisfying rush of relief washed over him as he silently rejoiced over the fact that it hadn’t been Weevil. He wouldn’t have been able to handle it this well if it had been Weevs, he’d be screaming by now.
A loud screech followed by a clatter brought Logan out of his thoughts and drew his attention to the fact that he had left Veronica at the dinner table. Sliding off the bed Logan went to the door, waiting to hear her feet shuffle across the floor so he could meet her at the door.
They could work through this, talk through this. After all, he’d risked his heart one last time for her and he was confident that this would be the time she didn’t make him regret it.
Then the banging on the door started, making Logan jump in surprise. The knocking persisted for another minute before it stopped.
The angry “what?” carried down the hall to Logan and he knew exactly who was at the door.
~*~
Veronica couldn’t believe the nerve of him standing there on her doorstep and the audacity of his sheepish look. Like he was trying to be cute and sorry at the same time. Like that could work with anyone but Logan. Like he was even sorry.
Duncan’s shoulders were pushed up around his ears, like he was stuck in a perpetual shrug, with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. A seemingly innocent smile was plastered across his face, the corners of his lips pulled so far up and so wide that it made his lips thin and press tightly together. Even his eyes seemed to smile a bit, in a joyful “I’m-getting-what-I-want” way. The only thing throwing off his affected look of sheepish innocence-which she still thought looked smarmy-was the fact that he had a black eye.
The whole act made Veronica want to blacken his other eye. So they would match.
Veronica knew that he knew he was in trouble, but he probably thought a little sweet talking would get him out of it and what he wanted. She wanted to give him a black eye, a split lip, a broken nose and a few other things for what he had done.
She had always known she would have to tell Logan about that stupid night with Duncan. She had put it off and put it off until the last possible moment, but she had always intended on doing it. It was her thing to tell in her time. At first she had wanted to settle back into him and the relationship. Then it was too new and fragile, and with the added stress of wedding plans it hadn’t seemed like the right time. As time had continued to run out Veronica had realized there was never going to be a right time for this particular conversation. Then Duncan had forced her by threatening to tell Logan about it himself.
Now he had the nerve to come here and put on this act?
“What?” Veronica demanded angrily, glaring at Duncan from her side of the threshold.
“Hey.” Was all Duncan could get out, he was starting to get really nervous about this. Her greeting was not what he had expected.
“Hey? Hey? That’s all you have to say for yourself is hey?” Veronica asked, her voice starting to raise into a yell. “You have to be kidding me! I told you when you basically cornered me this morning not to say anything to Logan because I had been planning on explaining things to him. I had planned on breaking this thing that I done to him in a way that wouldn’t hurt him as much as you flat out telling him that we slept together! It was my mistake, my news, my thing. You however took this opportunity to manipulate the situation to your advantage. Even though he didn’t say anything about the conversation you had with him, I’m willing to bet that you insinuated that I had cheated on him with you, instead of Max. Right?”
Veronica was yelling full blast now, gesturing wildly with her hands and arms. Duncan opened his mouth, presumably to protest, but was cut off by Veronica who plowed forward into her rant.
“Of course you did, because you know as well as I do that that is something Logan won’t tolerate. Cheating on him. I can’t believe I ever thought I loved you.” Veronica’s chest was heaving in anger now, her breath coming out in short bursts. “Before Lilly died I thought I loved you so much, that you were the perfect boy. And maybe then I was right. But since then you’ve become cruel and manipulative and opportunistic. Since then you’ve become a Kane.”
The insult to his character and his family name caught his attention even more than the mention of his dead sister. The anger flashed in his eyes and too late Veronica realized her precarious position. She wasn’t dressed in a particularly casual outfit, making it hard to get away from him, and even if it hadn’t happened in a while he was prone to violent outbursts.
“Excuse me? Thought you loved me? You were basically a fucking puppy dog Veronica, both before Lilly died and senior year of high school. The moment I wanted you back you dropped Logan so fast he barely had time to realize it was ending before it was over. You screwed him over then, he needed you and you bailed on him to be with me. I’m manipulative? What about you?” Duncan took a step towards her, and while he wasn’t usually intimidating he somehow was now, in his anger.
“I’m opportunistic? You take advantage of every situation you can, you never miss an opportunity to screw somebody over, even if is fucks someone else in the process. And cruel? I’ve seen the way you were, are. You’re a drunk and a slut like your mother, and a screw up like you’re father. Since Lilly died, you’ve definitely become a Mars.”
Veronica’s retaliating retort died in her throat at the insult aimed at her mother, then her father. She couldn’t believe that he was bringing her dead mother into this, and calling her a slut and a drunk while he was at it. Veronica couldn’t even process the slur against her father.
“So even when you make me the bad guy we still belong together. Don’t you see Veronica? Logan’s a jerk and loser, you should be with me. We’re better together.” Duncan concluded, his anger dying down, but he was still towering intimadatingly over her. A low creak sounded from the end of the dark hallway, followed by footsteps.
“I’m the loser? You’re the one that can’t get over your girlfriend from high school. You’re the one that has spent the last eight years since high school pining and chasing after her.” Logan said as he came up behind Veronica, placing one soothing hand on her shoulder. He had been listening at the bedroom door, and heard everything. Not that he had to have his ear pressed against the door to hear what they were shouting at each other. But the cruel blow about her mother had made him so fiercely protective that he could no longer stay in there and not defend her.
“Why can’t you just leave her alone? Leave us alone? You left her, repeatedly, and she moved on. That’s what you’re supposed to do, not sit alone and pine for something that’s never coming back.”
“If I hadn’t had to take Lilly away-”
“But you did.” Logan interrupted, his voice raising to overpower Duncan’s. “You did have to leave with Lilly, so there’s no point in playing that game. And saying that you wouldn’t have broken up since then is preposterous. You can’t know that, and you’re not going to find out. Veronica and I are getting married in just over a month, and you’re just going to have to deal with that!”
As Logan ended his rant Duncan lunged at him with his fist, one of his hands actually connecting as they went down in a mass of limbs and fists.
“Stop it! Enough!” Veronica yelled out, promptly ended the fight. Logan’s bottom lip was starting to swell a little already by the looks of it. She raised her hand to cup his jaw in her palm as her thumb ran lightly over the lip.
“Get out.” Veronica gritted through her teeth as she stared at Logan’s injured lip. Logan’s eyes widened and rounded out as he stared at her in confusion and a little bit of what looked like resignation. She thought she meant him.
Veronica dropped her hand and turned to face Duncan, her own tiny little fists starting to clench and unclench.
“Get. Out. You’re no longer welcome here, and I want you to leave now. I want you out.” Veronica stood protectively in front of Logan, daring Duncan to make another move on him. Duncan still dared to take a step forward, but this time his eyes were trained on her face, they were soft as he pleaded with her.
“You’re mother always regretted not being with my dad, for letting it end. And although I’m thankful, because it means that I got to have you, I saw what it did to my dad. He loved her, just like I love you. He was her true love, and true love stories never have endings, remember? Do you-”
“I’m not my mother, I’m not going to be eternally in love with you. And I’m not going to regret marrying Logan, or ever have an affair.” Veronica interrupted, her chest starting to heave a little. “And no, true love stories never have endings, but I never said you were my true love.”
Duncan’s head began to slowly shake from side to side, silently denying her words before she continued on.
“If you can’t accept us then we can’t know you, because we’re together. I can’t be around someone that seems to be completely incapable of accepting Logan and I. You’re my oldest friend Duncan, but Logan comes first and that’s just they way things are going to be.”
“So this is your choice?” Duncan asks insolently, practically daring Veronica to hold her ground.
“No, it’s not my choice.” This caught the attention of both men, but Veronica pushed forward, ignoring Duncan’s smug smile and Logan’s incredulous look. “It isn’t a choice Duncan, it’s the way things are now. You’re just my past now, not anything else. And maybe it’s time that I left you there, in the past. That Logan and I left you there, maybe our friendship can’t last past now. Maybe it was never meant to.”
Duncan’s eyes lost that confident sheen they had held all night, at least until now. The determined look from that morning was long gone, and the sheepish innocence from fifteen minutes ago had morphed into an arrogant and then cruel smirk before disappearing completely. Now Duncan’s eyes looked confused and lost, like he had suddenly lost some great purpose in life.
“You should go home, call your wife and beg forgiveness, Duncan.” Logan suggested from behind Veronica, his voice full of pity. No matter how much Duncan screwed him over and let him down, he was his oldest friend and Logan couldn’t just turn his emotions off.
“Can’t. Especially after telling her that they’re Veronica’s panties. She hates both of us now. I didn’t… I…” Duncan told his two oldest friends, stalling for time and hoping that she would change her mind.
“Although being honest is good, it’s probably not necessary to just show up at her hotel and tell her that I turned down your offer of you divorcing her to marry me. Okay? Salvage as much as you can Duncan, because we’re done here. You’re out of my life, for good. I want you out. From this moment on, you are no longer my friend. You don’t exist.” Veronica choked out, her voice strained with the stress of keeping herself from yelling.
With the end of her tirade Logan turned to go down the hallway when he heard Duncan say in the smallest voice he had ever heard the man use.
“But, you’re mine. You were mine first.”
“When will you get that she’s not yours? First of all, she’s not a piece of property, she is not something you own. Secondly, if she was anybody’s, she’d be mine. Right, baby?” Veronica nodded enthusiastically at that, using the moment to reassure Logan as well as discourage Duncan.
“Right.” Veronica answered, and sparing one glance down the hallway she watched as Duncan picked up the black jacket she hadn’t even noticed he’d thrown down on the floor when he came in.
With the slamming of the door Logan and Veronica both sighed in relief as Logan reached out to wrap his arms around her waist from behind.
“Did you mean it?” her voice barely above a whisper was thick with tears.
Oh when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me
When you're low
I'll be there
By your side baby
Duncan stared at the glowing windows of the beach house, resenting the people currently inhabiting it. They were in there, together, and he was stuck out here in the car. Alone.
He’d never thought it would matter this much that they’d turned their backs on him. He never thought that Logan mattered that much to him. But Duncan had seen the look in his eyes, the resignation and anger. Logan had finally given up on him, pulled his never-ending support and loyalty. Logan had finally saw the truth.
Duncan hadn’t realized how much he counted on Logan’s inability to object Duncan’s authority. Logan had been the king of Neptune high and had ruled without apology, while Duncan looked to be the passive and kind one. The one that kept Logan in check. In reality Logan had never really done anything without Duncan’s approval, whether Logan was consciously aware of it or not. His one goal after Lilly’s death was to protect Duncan. To protect Duncan and destroy Veronica for betraying him.
Logan had felt that Veronica’s decision to stay with her dad had been an outright betrayal against Duncan. She had gone against him and now she must pay. Duncan had ignored Logan’s antics, only stepping in when it was absolutely necessary and Logan had gone too far. Or when Duncan himself was present.
Secretly he had enjoyed it a little. Lilly had been so good at the vengeance thing, so good at being able to let herself openly hate someone. Like that Yolanda girl. Duncan had been expected to be nice, and kind to everyone. It had been exhausting, playing the knight in shining armor to everyone. Including Veronica. Better yet, it had taken perfect little Veronica down a notch, made her not so perfect and untouchable. Made him want to touch her less.
But after all that loyalty, Logan had finally defected. Logan had joined the other side, the side against Duncan. After all that, he had finally pushed Logan too far.
Duncan punched his steering wheel in anger, swearing as his knuckles connected hard with it.
What had he been thinking? Risking everything like that. Her friendship. His friendship. Their love. Now he was alone.
Duncan let his thoughts wander to Lindsay. She was staying in the Presidential Suite at the Neptune Grand now, with Lilly. There was no telling what was going to happen now, but if Duncan had to guess he would say that he was going to be getting divorced.
He’d come right out and told her exactly why the panties had been in the bed. He’d never been one for a fight, but he’d been waiting for this one ever since their honeymoon, when he’d remembered the panties were still in the bed. He hadn’t had time to get rid of them before the wedding, so he had just made the bed over them. After that it had been a whirlwind of activity.
Then she had found the underwear and yelled at him for it, without even pretending to give him the benefit of the doubt. So he admitted to cheating. She had said she knew, that he had been acting strange since the wedding. They’d decided to sleep in separate beds that day, so he slept in what she had called “the soiled guest room”.
Mac and Dick’s wedding rolled around and he had gotten sullen and more detached. Lindsay had begun to get suspicious once again, and Duncan had no doubt that Nicole had been in the background asking about the pre-nup. If Lindsay got everything in the even that he was unfaithful. Of course a week later Lindsay learned that Nicole and Logan had broken up and he was back with Veronica. Things had gotten really bad then.
It was when Lindsay had threatened to have Veronica find out who he was sleeping with that he had confessed. Actually, he had laughed at her first, told her good luck with that one since she would just be taking pictures of herself. After a screaming match and a broken vase he had finally told her everything. That he was in love with Veronica, always had been. That he should have called off the wedding, but she had disappeared that morning and he had misread everything. The next morning she and Lilly had been gone, but he had only noticed after he listened to her voicemail about where they would be.
Starting up the car, Duncan pointed it in the direction of the hotel. Now that Veronica had rejected him and subsequently kicked him out of her life he had to fix this. He had to go and get his wife and daughter back before Lindsay put the divorce into action. Later he would ask his father how to keep the little fact of being in love with another woman from ruining his marriage.
Right now he just needed to figure a way to manipulate his wife back into his life.
~*~
Logan buried his nose into Veronica’s hair from behind, breathing in deeply as he tightened his grasp a fraction.
“Are we going to be okay? Is this going… Just, are we going to be okay?” Logan asked in a husky whisper before pressing his lips into her hair.
“Maybe I was right. Once upon a time Lilly and Duncan and you and me were the best of friends and so close. But if Lilly hadn’t died we probably wouldn’t have made it anyway. Maybe you and I would have found our way to each other, eventually. But our friendships and our relationships as they were then wouldn’t have lasted.” Taking a deep breath, Veronica turned in Logan’s arms to face him. She looked deeply into his eyes, letting out her breath and taking another one before continuing.
“And it’s about time we all quit pretending that they could have. That we can somehow get back any of what we lost. We can’t and even though you and I learned that lesson long ago, it was time Duncan learned it too. It’s just too bad that he had to lose us in the process, that we had to lose him. Because the three of us could have been great, but we’ll never know that kind of friendship. The strong and lasting friendship that is built through such a loss as we had, and that’s sad.”
“We did.” Logan contradicted. “It took us a while, but that’s my fault…”
Logan released her waist and held a finger to her lips as she opened her mouth to interrupt, to argue his guilt.
“It was my fault. We lost someone that was instrumental in our lives and I lashed out. I always lash out, it’s basically what my father taught me. To attack when I’m hurt. But eventually we got there and we learned how to be friends again. Eventually.”
“He’s not… Logan…” Veronica said sympathetically, misunderstanding what it was he was saying.
“I’m not saying that he’s going to come around. What I’m saying is that he’s probably not. Ever. That you’re right, we could have been great. The three of us could have been amazing, the three musketeers or something. We’re not all close like that, we grew apart, the three of use, but you and I… You and I are different. We made it.”
“Yeah, we made it. We’re going to make it.” Veronica agreed as she stood on her tip-toes to press her lips to Logan’s.
Logan responded and lifted her up with one arm wrapped around the back of her waist and on sweeping behind her knees. She giggled against his mouth before deepening the kiss. Logan carried her into the living room, only bumping into the walls twice on the way to the couch. Placing her gently on the sofa, he leaned back.
“You and I, we still need to talk about some things, don’t we?” Logan questioned, his eyes searching hers. Veronica’s eyes drew together in confusion.
“We should talk about the other things, like the thing with Max? I think we should talk about that. And…” Logan trailed off at the sight of Veronica’s distressed look. It was obvious that the subject would do nothing but upset her. Perhaps right now was not the time to pursue this, it could wait.
“And it can wait.” Logan whispered as he leaned forward to kiss her again, pressing against her until she laid back on the cushions. He settled on top of her and let his hands wander to the button of her pants.
The moment the button snapped open things kicked into high gear as they desperately undressed each other, pulling at the other’s shirts.
Oh when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me
Oh when you're low
I'll be there
By your side baby
Epilogue: A Good Start
Author:princess72385
Pairings/Characters: Logan/Veronica, Duncan (mentions of: Duncan/OC and Veronica/Duncan)
Word Count: 4,906 (4,810 without lyrics)
Rating: R (a little bit of language and little bit of violence)
Summary: There are similarities to the past and now. History always repeats itself, whether we realize it or not and breaking the circle is always the most difficult part of it all.
Spoilers/Warnings: Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes)
Future Fic
Disclaimer: None of it’s mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don’t sue, because I have nothing and it’d be a waste of both our time. The Song is By Your Side by Sade
Chapter 1: Everything Has It's Beginning... And It's End
Chapter 2: Leave My Heart Behind
Chapter 3a: When It's All Unraveling
Chapter 3b:When It's All Unraveling
Chapter 4a:The Lines That Cross
Chapter 4b: The Lines That Cross
Chapter 4.5:Almost Had It
Chapter 5: Everything You're Running From
Chapter 5.5: Steal the Night
Chapter 6:Wrap the Night Around Me
Chapter 7a: End of the Circle
A/N: Here’s the second part… enjoy.
Symmetry
7b
End of the Circle
Veronica stared at Logan’s plate sitting across the table from her. His food was getting colder by the second and would have to be thrown out soon, there’s no way he could eat it now. No way she could eat hers either, she thought as her eyes drifted to her own plate in front of her. She hadn’t even taken a single bite, and neither had he. Fifty dollars of food gone to waste. Hopefully it wouldn’t be a day of wedding plans, hundreds of dollars spent on it and her heart gone to waste. Hopefully Logan would be able to at least forgive her enough to stay with her.
“I didn’t.” Veronica said aloud to the empty kitchen, her voice barely audible. And she hadn’t. She hadn’t been able to forgive Logan enough to stay with him when he did the same thing to her. She hadn’t been able to forgive him for Madison for over a year, and it had taken another year and a half for them to reconcile. Veronica didn’t want to wait that long to be with him. But if she was honest with herself she knew he was totally justified in walking.
Duncan was Logan’s Madison.
Worse. Duncan was still friends with Logan, even if he was fake about it. And even worse than that was the fact that Duncan had been the cause of their last breakup and a sore point before that. He was an ex-boyfriend. Duncan was worse than Madison. Logan had every right to walk out on her and never speak to her again. It’s not like he was speaking to her now. It would have been better if he yelled, she had been prepared for that. But silence scared her, silence was when he was unpredictable.
Veronica took a deep breath and stood, her chair squeaking as it slid across the floor before it made a loud clatter when it fell. After the echo of the sound died, she finally released the breath. She was going to march into that bedroom and start in on him. She would badger and pester until he finally started yelling. After she got him yelling she would wheedle him into fighting for their relationship. Maybe he wouldn’t cancel their wedding, just postpone it or even go through with it in a month like they had planned. Maybe.
Veronica turned and began taking long and confident strides towards her bedroom door, not letting her hesitance at this action falter her footsteps.
She had gotten halfway before the loud knocking sounded from the front door. It sounded like they were trying to break down the door.
~*~
Duncan’s face hurt as he drove towards the beach house. It was an old and familiar road, a road he had taken several times on his way to Logan’s house since Veronica’s return.
Veronica’s return.
She was like some great and epic story, his Veronica. She was like this mythical queen that went away to fight legendary battles like a man, and return home greater than ever. A hero and no longer just a queen, but a goddess. That was what Veronica was now, a goddess. She had grown up and grown out of being permanently on the defense, grown to accommodate the man she was with. He had seen it when she was with Max. Veronica had accommodated him in almost anything he asked of her. It was unfair that Logan get that when Duncan had been forced to deal with prickly and defensive Veronica Mars all throughout their last relationship.
Logan had never deserved her. Not when they were young, before Lilly died. Duncan had seen the way Logan had looked at her then. It may not have been the lustful gazes that he sent Lilly’s way, but in a way they were worse. Logan wasn’t different from any other guy in school. Lilly was the girl all the guys wanted, the perfect girl. Veronica was the girlfriend they all wanted, the perfect girlfriend. Logan had wanted her and Duncan would be damned if he let him get something that was so clearly marked for Duncan. Of course Logan had backed down.
Logan didn’t deserve her Junior year of high school when he had her, and he definitely didn’t deserve her Senior year after he lost her. They never should have pulled their relationship into college, it just stunted them and hadn’t allowed them to grow up and apart. Which would have worked much better for him than what did happen. If they hadn’t been together their Senior year at Hearst then they wouldn’t be in this situation.
Duncan took the corner too sharply and felt his back tires slide, heard them squeal over the pavement. Duncan tapped on his breaks lightly, it wouldn’t do for him to arrive dead. That wouldn’t get him anything but a funeral, and he was too close to getting everything for that.
Finally, after passing all the familiar landmarks, Duncan arrived and parked in Veronica and Logan’s driveway. He slid off the leather seat and swung his keys around wildly as he slammed his car door shut. Jogging up the front walkway to the door Duncan wondered what they were doing, seeing as most of the lights in the house were off. Raising his hand he began to pound on the heavy door in front of him, not sure who he wanted to answer.
His hand was starting to hurt from the force in which he was knocking when the door swung open, and angry Veronica standing on the other side.
“What?” she demanded, her tiny body seeming to take up all the space in the foyer.
~*~
Logan lay back on the bed, his mind racing with thoughts. He couldn’t help turning his head to gaze at the wide expanse of the mattress to his right. He couldn’t stop picturing it, like he had done Senior year of high school.
Veronica and Duncan. Having sex.
It was a vision he would do anything to get rid of, but could think of nothing to expel it. Every time he blinked they had changed positions. How was he ever going to get over this, past this, if he saw it every time he closed his eyes? How could he be with Veronica if he thought about it constantly?
Shifting to his side so he was facing the left, he turned his back on the majority of the bed. Maybe if he didn’t see the mattress it wouldn’t taunt him with vision of his fiancée and his ex-best friend. His ex-friend.
It seemed to work, no more sex visions and Logan finally began thinking.
He hadn’t pushed her into it completely, but he had allowed Veronica to walk though that door of cheating. Logan had left her with very little reasoning, and she hadn’t ever recovered from it. She had been unhappy the years following their last breakup and Logan was all too familiar with the stupid and harmful things one could do when they’re unhappy. He was lucky she hadn’t burned anything down or started any gang wars.
A quick and satisfying rush of relief washed over him as he silently rejoiced over the fact that it hadn’t been Weevil. He wouldn’t have been able to handle it this well if it had been Weevs, he’d be screaming by now.
A loud screech followed by a clatter brought Logan out of his thoughts and drew his attention to the fact that he had left Veronica at the dinner table. Sliding off the bed Logan went to the door, waiting to hear her feet shuffle across the floor so he could meet her at the door.
They could work through this, talk through this. After all, he’d risked his heart one last time for her and he was confident that this would be the time she didn’t make him regret it.
Then the banging on the door started, making Logan jump in surprise. The knocking persisted for another minute before it stopped.
The angry “what?” carried down the hall to Logan and he knew exactly who was at the door.
~*~
Veronica couldn’t believe the nerve of him standing there on her doorstep and the audacity of his sheepish look. Like he was trying to be cute and sorry at the same time. Like that could work with anyone but Logan. Like he was even sorry.
Duncan’s shoulders were pushed up around his ears, like he was stuck in a perpetual shrug, with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. A seemingly innocent smile was plastered across his face, the corners of his lips pulled so far up and so wide that it made his lips thin and press tightly together. Even his eyes seemed to smile a bit, in a joyful “I’m-getting-what-I-want” way. The only thing throwing off his affected look of sheepish innocence-which she still thought looked smarmy-was the fact that he had a black eye.
The whole act made Veronica want to blacken his other eye. So they would match.
Veronica knew that he knew he was in trouble, but he probably thought a little sweet talking would get him out of it and what he wanted. She wanted to give him a black eye, a split lip, a broken nose and a few other things for what he had done.
She had always known she would have to tell Logan about that stupid night with Duncan. She had put it off and put it off until the last possible moment, but she had always intended on doing it. It was her thing to tell in her time. At first she had wanted to settle back into him and the relationship. Then it was too new and fragile, and with the added stress of wedding plans it hadn’t seemed like the right time. As time had continued to run out Veronica had realized there was never going to be a right time for this particular conversation. Then Duncan had forced her by threatening to tell Logan about it himself.
Now he had the nerve to come here and put on this act?
“What?” Veronica demanded angrily, glaring at Duncan from her side of the threshold.
“Hey.” Was all Duncan could get out, he was starting to get really nervous about this. Her greeting was not what he had expected.
“Hey? Hey? That’s all you have to say for yourself is hey?” Veronica asked, her voice starting to raise into a yell. “You have to be kidding me! I told you when you basically cornered me this morning not to say anything to Logan because I had been planning on explaining things to him. I had planned on breaking this thing that I done to him in a way that wouldn’t hurt him as much as you flat out telling him that we slept together! It was my mistake, my news, my thing. You however took this opportunity to manipulate the situation to your advantage. Even though he didn’t say anything about the conversation you had with him, I’m willing to bet that you insinuated that I had cheated on him with you, instead of Max. Right?”
Veronica was yelling full blast now, gesturing wildly with her hands and arms. Duncan opened his mouth, presumably to protest, but was cut off by Veronica who plowed forward into her rant.
“Of course you did, because you know as well as I do that that is something Logan won’t tolerate. Cheating on him. I can’t believe I ever thought I loved you.” Veronica’s chest was heaving in anger now, her breath coming out in short bursts. “Before Lilly died I thought I loved you so much, that you were the perfect boy. And maybe then I was right. But since then you’ve become cruel and manipulative and opportunistic. Since then you’ve become a Kane.”
The insult to his character and his family name caught his attention even more than the mention of his dead sister. The anger flashed in his eyes and too late Veronica realized her precarious position. She wasn’t dressed in a particularly casual outfit, making it hard to get away from him, and even if it hadn’t happened in a while he was prone to violent outbursts.
“Excuse me? Thought you loved me? You were basically a fucking puppy dog Veronica, both before Lilly died and senior year of high school. The moment I wanted you back you dropped Logan so fast he barely had time to realize it was ending before it was over. You screwed him over then, he needed you and you bailed on him to be with me. I’m manipulative? What about you?” Duncan took a step towards her, and while he wasn’t usually intimidating he somehow was now, in his anger.
“I’m opportunistic? You take advantage of every situation you can, you never miss an opportunity to screw somebody over, even if is fucks someone else in the process. And cruel? I’ve seen the way you were, are. You’re a drunk and a slut like your mother, and a screw up like you’re father. Since Lilly died, you’ve definitely become a Mars.”
Veronica’s retaliating retort died in her throat at the insult aimed at her mother, then her father. She couldn’t believe that he was bringing her dead mother into this, and calling her a slut and a drunk while he was at it. Veronica couldn’t even process the slur against her father.
“So even when you make me the bad guy we still belong together. Don’t you see Veronica? Logan’s a jerk and loser, you should be with me. We’re better together.” Duncan concluded, his anger dying down, but he was still towering intimadatingly over her. A low creak sounded from the end of the dark hallway, followed by footsteps.
“I’m the loser? You’re the one that can’t get over your girlfriend from high school. You’re the one that has spent the last eight years since high school pining and chasing after her.” Logan said as he came up behind Veronica, placing one soothing hand on her shoulder. He had been listening at the bedroom door, and heard everything. Not that he had to have his ear pressed against the door to hear what they were shouting at each other. But the cruel blow about her mother had made him so fiercely protective that he could no longer stay in there and not defend her.
“Why can’t you just leave her alone? Leave us alone? You left her, repeatedly, and she moved on. That’s what you’re supposed to do, not sit alone and pine for something that’s never coming back.”
“If I hadn’t had to take Lilly away-”
“But you did.” Logan interrupted, his voice raising to overpower Duncan’s. “You did have to leave with Lilly, so there’s no point in playing that game. And saying that you wouldn’t have broken up since then is preposterous. You can’t know that, and you’re not going to find out. Veronica and I are getting married in just over a month, and you’re just going to have to deal with that!”
As Logan ended his rant Duncan lunged at him with his fist, one of his hands actually connecting as they went down in a mass of limbs and fists.
“Stop it! Enough!” Veronica yelled out, promptly ended the fight. Logan’s bottom lip was starting to swell a little already by the looks of it. She raised her hand to cup his jaw in her palm as her thumb ran lightly over the lip.
“Get out.” Veronica gritted through her teeth as she stared at Logan’s injured lip. Logan’s eyes widened and rounded out as he stared at her in confusion and a little bit of what looked like resignation. She thought she meant him.
Veronica dropped her hand and turned to face Duncan, her own tiny little fists starting to clench and unclench.
“Get. Out. You’re no longer welcome here, and I want you to leave now. I want you out.” Veronica stood protectively in front of Logan, daring Duncan to make another move on him. Duncan still dared to take a step forward, but this time his eyes were trained on her face, they were soft as he pleaded with her.
“You’re mother always regretted not being with my dad, for letting it end. And although I’m thankful, because it means that I got to have you, I saw what it did to my dad. He loved her, just like I love you. He was her true love, and true love stories never have endings, remember? Do you-”
“I’m not my mother, I’m not going to be eternally in love with you. And I’m not going to regret marrying Logan, or ever have an affair.” Veronica interrupted, her chest starting to heave a little. “And no, true love stories never have endings, but I never said you were my true love.”
Duncan’s head began to slowly shake from side to side, silently denying her words before she continued on.
“If you can’t accept us then we can’t know you, because we’re together. I can’t be around someone that seems to be completely incapable of accepting Logan and I. You’re my oldest friend Duncan, but Logan comes first and that’s just they way things are going to be.”
“So this is your choice?” Duncan asks insolently, practically daring Veronica to hold her ground.
“No, it’s not my choice.” This caught the attention of both men, but Veronica pushed forward, ignoring Duncan’s smug smile and Logan’s incredulous look. “It isn’t a choice Duncan, it’s the way things are now. You’re just my past now, not anything else. And maybe it’s time that I left you there, in the past. That Logan and I left you there, maybe our friendship can’t last past now. Maybe it was never meant to.”
Duncan’s eyes lost that confident sheen they had held all night, at least until now. The determined look from that morning was long gone, and the sheepish innocence from fifteen minutes ago had morphed into an arrogant and then cruel smirk before disappearing completely. Now Duncan’s eyes looked confused and lost, like he had suddenly lost some great purpose in life.
“You should go home, call your wife and beg forgiveness, Duncan.” Logan suggested from behind Veronica, his voice full of pity. No matter how much Duncan screwed him over and let him down, he was his oldest friend and Logan couldn’t just turn his emotions off.
“Can’t. Especially after telling her that they’re Veronica’s panties. She hates both of us now. I didn’t… I…” Duncan told his two oldest friends, stalling for time and hoping that she would change her mind.
“Although being honest is good, it’s probably not necessary to just show up at her hotel and tell her that I turned down your offer of you divorcing her to marry me. Okay? Salvage as much as you can Duncan, because we’re done here. You’re out of my life, for good. I want you out. From this moment on, you are no longer my friend. You don’t exist.” Veronica choked out, her voice strained with the stress of keeping herself from yelling.
With the end of her tirade Logan turned to go down the hallway when he heard Duncan say in the smallest voice he had ever heard the man use.
“But, you’re mine. You were mine first.”
“When will you get that she’s not yours? First of all, she’s not a piece of property, she is not something you own. Secondly, if she was anybody’s, she’d be mine. Right, baby?” Veronica nodded enthusiastically at that, using the moment to reassure Logan as well as discourage Duncan.
“Right.” Veronica answered, and sparing one glance down the hallway she watched as Duncan picked up the black jacket she hadn’t even noticed he’d thrown down on the floor when he came in.
With the slamming of the door Logan and Veronica both sighed in relief as Logan reached out to wrap his arms around her waist from behind.
“Did you mean it?” her voice barely above a whisper was thick with tears.
Oh when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me
When you're low
I'll be there
By your side baby
Duncan stared at the glowing windows of the beach house, resenting the people currently inhabiting it. They were in there, together, and he was stuck out here in the car. Alone.
He’d never thought it would matter this much that they’d turned their backs on him. He never thought that Logan mattered that much to him. But Duncan had seen the look in his eyes, the resignation and anger. Logan had finally given up on him, pulled his never-ending support and loyalty. Logan had finally saw the truth.
Duncan hadn’t realized how much he counted on Logan’s inability to object Duncan’s authority. Logan had been the king of Neptune high and had ruled without apology, while Duncan looked to be the passive and kind one. The one that kept Logan in check. In reality Logan had never really done anything without Duncan’s approval, whether Logan was consciously aware of it or not. His one goal after Lilly’s death was to protect Duncan. To protect Duncan and destroy Veronica for betraying him.
Logan had felt that Veronica’s decision to stay with her dad had been an outright betrayal against Duncan. She had gone against him and now she must pay. Duncan had ignored Logan’s antics, only stepping in when it was absolutely necessary and Logan had gone too far. Or when Duncan himself was present.
Secretly he had enjoyed it a little. Lilly had been so good at the vengeance thing, so good at being able to let herself openly hate someone. Like that Yolanda girl. Duncan had been expected to be nice, and kind to everyone. It had been exhausting, playing the knight in shining armor to everyone. Including Veronica. Better yet, it had taken perfect little Veronica down a notch, made her not so perfect and untouchable. Made him want to touch her less.
But after all that loyalty, Logan had finally defected. Logan had joined the other side, the side against Duncan. After all that, he had finally pushed Logan too far.
Duncan punched his steering wheel in anger, swearing as his knuckles connected hard with it.
What had he been thinking? Risking everything like that. Her friendship. His friendship. Their love. Now he was alone.
Duncan let his thoughts wander to Lindsay. She was staying in the Presidential Suite at the Neptune Grand now, with Lilly. There was no telling what was going to happen now, but if Duncan had to guess he would say that he was going to be getting divorced.
He’d come right out and told her exactly why the panties had been in the bed. He’d never been one for a fight, but he’d been waiting for this one ever since their honeymoon, when he’d remembered the panties were still in the bed. He hadn’t had time to get rid of them before the wedding, so he had just made the bed over them. After that it had been a whirlwind of activity.
Then she had found the underwear and yelled at him for it, without even pretending to give him the benefit of the doubt. So he admitted to cheating. She had said she knew, that he had been acting strange since the wedding. They’d decided to sleep in separate beds that day, so he slept in what she had called “the soiled guest room”.
Mac and Dick’s wedding rolled around and he had gotten sullen and more detached. Lindsay had begun to get suspicious once again, and Duncan had no doubt that Nicole had been in the background asking about the pre-nup. If Lindsay got everything in the even that he was unfaithful. Of course a week later Lindsay learned that Nicole and Logan had broken up and he was back with Veronica. Things had gotten really bad then.
It was when Lindsay had threatened to have Veronica find out who he was sleeping with that he had confessed. Actually, he had laughed at her first, told her good luck with that one since she would just be taking pictures of herself. After a screaming match and a broken vase he had finally told her everything. That he was in love with Veronica, always had been. That he should have called off the wedding, but she had disappeared that morning and he had misread everything. The next morning she and Lilly had been gone, but he had only noticed after he listened to her voicemail about where they would be.
Starting up the car, Duncan pointed it in the direction of the hotel. Now that Veronica had rejected him and subsequently kicked him out of her life he had to fix this. He had to go and get his wife and daughter back before Lindsay put the divorce into action. Later he would ask his father how to keep the little fact of being in love with another woman from ruining his marriage.
Right now he just needed to figure a way to manipulate his wife back into his life.
~*~
Logan buried his nose into Veronica’s hair from behind, breathing in deeply as he tightened his grasp a fraction.
“Are we going to be okay? Is this going… Just, are we going to be okay?” Logan asked in a husky whisper before pressing his lips into her hair.
“Maybe I was right. Once upon a time Lilly and Duncan and you and me were the best of friends and so close. But if Lilly hadn’t died we probably wouldn’t have made it anyway. Maybe you and I would have found our way to each other, eventually. But our friendships and our relationships as they were then wouldn’t have lasted.” Taking a deep breath, Veronica turned in Logan’s arms to face him. She looked deeply into his eyes, letting out her breath and taking another one before continuing.
“And it’s about time we all quit pretending that they could have. That we can somehow get back any of what we lost. We can’t and even though you and I learned that lesson long ago, it was time Duncan learned it too. It’s just too bad that he had to lose us in the process, that we had to lose him. Because the three of us could have been great, but we’ll never know that kind of friendship. The strong and lasting friendship that is built through such a loss as we had, and that’s sad.”
“We did.” Logan contradicted. “It took us a while, but that’s my fault…”
Logan released her waist and held a finger to her lips as she opened her mouth to interrupt, to argue his guilt.
“It was my fault. We lost someone that was instrumental in our lives and I lashed out. I always lash out, it’s basically what my father taught me. To attack when I’m hurt. But eventually we got there and we learned how to be friends again. Eventually.”
“He’s not… Logan…” Veronica said sympathetically, misunderstanding what it was he was saying.
“I’m not saying that he’s going to come around. What I’m saying is that he’s probably not. Ever. That you’re right, we could have been great. The three of us could have been amazing, the three musketeers or something. We’re not all close like that, we grew apart, the three of use, but you and I… You and I are different. We made it.”
“Yeah, we made it. We’re going to make it.” Veronica agreed as she stood on her tip-toes to press her lips to Logan’s.
Logan responded and lifted her up with one arm wrapped around the back of her waist and on sweeping behind her knees. She giggled against his mouth before deepening the kiss. Logan carried her into the living room, only bumping into the walls twice on the way to the couch. Placing her gently on the sofa, he leaned back.
“You and I, we still need to talk about some things, don’t we?” Logan questioned, his eyes searching hers. Veronica’s eyes drew together in confusion.
“We should talk about the other things, like the thing with Max? I think we should talk about that. And…” Logan trailed off at the sight of Veronica’s distressed look. It was obvious that the subject would do nothing but upset her. Perhaps right now was not the time to pursue this, it could wait.
“And it can wait.” Logan whispered as he leaned forward to kiss her again, pressing against her until she laid back on the cushions. He settled on top of her and let his hands wander to the button of her pants.
The moment the button snapped open things kicked into high gear as they desperately undressed each other, pulling at the other’s shirts.
Oh when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me
Oh when you're low
I'll be there
By your side baby
Epilogue: A Good Start