Muffin just told me that he wants "cool" hair. I'm glad he told me via text because I don't think I could've kept a straight face. I mean, I guess it's one thing to want to be cool, and it's another just being naturally cool, and another to admit that you aren't naturally cool but are trying to be cool because you aren't comfortable being who you ( Read more... )

I'm thinking about breaking up with Muffin. One drunkin' day while in the throws of passion I told him that I loved him and immediately realized that I didn't. Too late. So now I am (according to him) his first love. Yikes. Now, I enjoy our relationship, but I don't particularly enjoy him. At this point I view our relationship as symbiotic. We each ( Read more... )

Hmm. Trashy people never seem to realize that they are trashy so long as there are trashier people out there.

So it's been quite sometime since I've cared about The Ex. At first, I cared about him, then I tried not to care about him, then I cared enough to wish he would get his life in order, but then I started caring less and less until I can say that I don't care at all ( Read more... )

Mystery post colloidal bleeding has been solved! But now I have to abstain from lovin my Muffin Man for over two weeks. But I guess there is always oral...mmmmmmm...oral sex for two weeks? That's really like a dream come true! Muffin is pretty damn good at it, my past partners would lick it like it was a chore. BORING. Snore. Yawn. But Muffin gets ( Read more... )

So I get home and Mother tells me to go look in Grannies bathroom at the "Do Not Remove..." sign.

It was torn up and smeared with shit.

Waka Waka Waka!

It's like she did it on purpose like, "Feces? FECES? I'll show you feces." And shat all over it just to spite Mother ( Read more... )

Mother taped some news paper onto the floor around Grannies toilet. She also wrote in big letters on it, "Do Not Remove. This is to catch the FECES you flick onto the floor.LOL ( Read more... )

I like being freinds with a bunch of girls that bitch about how fat they are. I like it even more whan I show them up and become the first to actually loose weight.

Yeah, you are fat.
I was fat.

That means I am the hot one.
I win.

Living with an old lady has it's perks. She pays the bills ( Read more... )

Hmmm, nothing too neat has been happening as of late. I finally got an appointment to see my obgyn. I hope this mystery bleeding can be solved so I can get back to my regular fucking schedule, emphasis on the fuckMy face has been so gross and greasy. I swear, in this heat, you could deep fry an egg on my face. Yum ( Read more... )