The Paternal Catalyst 5
The Paternal Catalyst
Rating: PG
Word Count: Over 44,000 in all
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize except California. That I rule.
Spoilers: Up to the Maternal Congruence
Summary: Because of Penny's father, Penny finds herself hiding in the laundry room while Sheldon constructs a dating formula and Leonard performs human experiments.
Author's Note: In this fic, Bernadette and Howard are broken up. I originally had a subplot that revolved around their break-up and make-up. However, I couldn't really work it in without disrupting the flow. I MAY write it as a companion piece but as of now, consider this fic AU in that respect.
(This fic was beta'd by the charming talkingmetaphor without whom I would still have the shoddy grammar that comes from writing while an insomniac)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
5
Sheldon
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter PHD,
I have taken your suggested methods of falsification and trickery and have begun to apply them to various situations. Such opportunities have arisen and thus far my deceit has been a success. So far I have only had a chance to use the omission and fabrication lying strategies, though on both occasions I have had no problems.
The most recent lie was to your son, Leonard. In an effort to lure him from our home, I asked him to take me to the comic book store. As you may have surmised this was not my reasoning for getting him out of the household. I did say I wanted to go to the aforementioned destination, though I did not specify when. Leonard assumed I meant tonight and took me. I had always mistakenly clumped all methods of lying to be the same in the essence that if I could not do one, I couldn’t do the rest. Clearly this was a mistake on my part as simply placing a truth in place of a lie, and taking a proverbial eraser to the parts I didn’t want Leonard to see was surprisingly easy.
An interesting factor I had neglected to consider came into play, as lying to different people will take different strategies. The basic methodology might be identical but as people have different thought patterns, and their relative relation and familiarity of my idiosyncrasies posed intriguing obstacles. Leonard has lived with me for numerous years now and is probably most intimate with my habits. Indeed when I made my statement he was suspicious of my motive. However I took your advice and did not waver in my lie. You are correct, Doctor, Leonard will believe anything you tell him so long as you are persistent enough. This would explain his career choice.
I am not so close to Penny as I am to Leonard, this comes with the added benefit of her not residing in my household. However, she does possess an acute awareness of other’s emotions; something that I read is necessary in both food service and acting.
Last night, in the middle of my previous email to you, in fact, Penny showed up severely intoxicated. I will not bore you with the details but suffice it to say I was forced to allow her to stay the night. When not in REM cycles, as you know, my sleeping patterns are very weak and I’m prone to easy awakening. At approximately four in the morning, Penny moved from sleeping in Leonard’s bed, to mine. An hour ad forty-six minutes later she awoke and quickly vacated both my bedroom, and my apartment. When inquired after this I lead her to believe I hadn’t been aware of her sleeping situation. Fortunately she was deprived of sleep and still had the effects of last night’s inebriation so her awareness level was severely depleted.
I look forward to more lessons from you.
Sheldon Cooper PHD
Chapter 6
Rating: PG
Word Count: Over 44,000 in all
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize except California. That I rule.
Spoilers: Up to the Maternal Congruence
Summary: Because of Penny's father, Penny finds herself hiding in the laundry room while Sheldon constructs a dating formula and Leonard performs human experiments.
Author's Note: In this fic, Bernadette and Howard are broken up. I originally had a subplot that revolved around their break-up and make-up. However, I couldn't really work it in without disrupting the flow. I MAY write it as a companion piece but as of now, consider this fic AU in that respect.
(This fic was beta'd by the charming talkingmetaphor without whom I would still have the shoddy grammar that comes from writing while an insomniac)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
5
Sheldon
Dr. Beverly Hofstadter PHD,
I have taken your suggested methods of falsification and trickery and have begun to apply them to various situations. Such opportunities have arisen and thus far my deceit has been a success. So far I have only had a chance to use the omission and fabrication lying strategies, though on both occasions I have had no problems.
The most recent lie was to your son, Leonard. In an effort to lure him from our home, I asked him to take me to the comic book store. As you may have surmised this was not my reasoning for getting him out of the household. I did say I wanted to go to the aforementioned destination, though I did not specify when. Leonard assumed I meant tonight and took me. I had always mistakenly clumped all methods of lying to be the same in the essence that if I could not do one, I couldn’t do the rest. Clearly this was a mistake on my part as simply placing a truth in place of a lie, and taking a proverbial eraser to the parts I didn’t want Leonard to see was surprisingly easy.
An interesting factor I had neglected to consider came into play, as lying to different people will take different strategies. The basic methodology might be identical but as people have different thought patterns, and their relative relation and familiarity of my idiosyncrasies posed intriguing obstacles. Leonard has lived with me for numerous years now and is probably most intimate with my habits. Indeed when I made my statement he was suspicious of my motive. However I took your advice and did not waver in my lie. You are correct, Doctor, Leonard will believe anything you tell him so long as you are persistent enough. This would explain his career choice.
I am not so close to Penny as I am to Leonard, this comes with the added benefit of her not residing in my household. However, she does possess an acute awareness of other’s emotions; something that I read is necessary in both food service and acting.
Last night, in the middle of my previous email to you, in fact, Penny showed up severely intoxicated. I will not bore you with the details but suffice it to say I was forced to allow her to stay the night. When not in REM cycles, as you know, my sleeping patterns are very weak and I’m prone to easy awakening. At approximately four in the morning, Penny moved from sleeping in Leonard’s bed, to mine. An hour ad forty-six minutes later she awoke and quickly vacated both my bedroom, and my apartment. When inquired after this I lead her to believe I hadn’t been aware of her sleeping situation. Fortunately she was deprived of sleep and still had the effects of last night’s inebriation so her awareness level was severely depleted.
I look forward to more lessons from you.
Sheldon Cooper PHD
Chapter 6