Three quick questions

[hotchpot]

1. My husband and I are in the process of meeting with and interviewing doulas. What are some questions I should ask her, in your opinion? I've got a pretty long list, but I want to make sure I'm not leaving anything out

Comments

[thekatiepants]

I had a doula and got an epidural. She helped me relax as I went through the rest of labor, rubbed my feet, etc and made it an overall enjoyable experience. Then when it came time to push, she helped me move into different positions, stood by my side and encouraged me throughout pushing (3 hours!) and such. She also took pictures of the baby right away, which was wonderful! It was a great experience for me.

[hotchpot]

This sounds fab! I didn't even think to ask if the doula would take pictures for us, but it sounds like a great idea. That way my husband doesn't have to worry about it.

Thanks for responding. :)

[thekatiepants]

It worked out really well because my husband was so overwhelmed and happy about seeing the baby that I don't think he would have been in any state to be taking photos. Also, she has a really nice camera, much nicer than our point and shoot ;)

[hotchpot]

Thanks--I really hope I can find that perfect doula! :)

[ahavah]

As a doula, I've definitely supported women who chose different forms of pain meds. I actually feel that a doula can really help with minimizing or managing side effects, in addition to usual pain relief techniques. I really wish that more people understood that a doula supports a woman through her choices, no matter what those are. I have actually heard of doulas who say they only do natural births, and that seems against our entire calling. If you run into that, please realize that it is definitely not the norm!

[hotchpot]

I wish you lived near DC!

I hope you won't mind me asking one more question of you, specifically...One of the doulas we're looking at lives almost 2 hours away from my hospital. I really like her, but I'm worried that that's just too far. However, she told me that most standard doula contracts say to allow 2 hours for your doula to reach you. Does this sound standard in your area? Do you think 2 hours is too far?

Thanks so much for your response! It's definitely made me feel more confident about my wishes for my birth scenario.

[ahavah]

I'm so glad to hear it! I'm also very honored, and I wish I were near DC too

[hotchpot]

OMG I love you. Thanks SO much.

[coolrunning]

I started to get freaked out in the last trimester too, to the point where I kept thinking, "OMG WHAT AM I DOING?!" I wasn't afraid of the birth itself so much as the lifetime of taking care of a kid. After I had my son I wasn't so much afraid of him, but I felt pretty disconnected from him for a while. It really did feel like he was a stranger. It took a few weeks for me to adjust and really get to know him, but I feel very close to him now and definitely feel that mother-child bond. I think the feelings are completely normal, especially towards the end of pregnancy. And even if you feel that way for a while after giving birth, it can be normal too (though it can also be a part of PPD). It takes time to adjust and get used to each other and form that bond. It's not always instant, and that certainly doesn't make you a bad mom.

[sandokai]

We hired a doula. I think the important thing is when you're meeting with them, can you picture them being there as your support network during such a vulnerable time. And ask regarding what would really wonder... "What would you do if..."

I liked the doula we interviewed because it was clear she wasn't a stickler for following every hospital rule if we ended up there. (Like she was all "Make sure to bring food you can sneak-eat in the bathroom since the hospital doesn't want you to eat during labor.") LOL

Do mention you are considering an epidural. Some (IMO bad) doulas won't take cases where an epidural is planned. But really they offer so many types of support I think they should be there for any type of birth.