well, worrying that you have baby blues could GIVE you baby blues. if you're not crying 87 times a day I don't think I'd worry about it. It sounds to me like you're perfectly normal... I had my baby June 9th and if I had to deal with all the crap you've got going on I'd be INSANE. I mean seriously, "she sleeps most of the day"? I'd stab a man who told me that, and would not blame hormones.
Oh there is crying at 4am when I have poop on my hands, my shirt is leaking, baby boogers in my hair and Ellenie wants food two minutes ago! All I want is to feed her shower and nap at the same time.
The first 2 weeks were the MOST stressful for me. Caring for a little one is a huge life adjustment & doing more than caring for yourself & your baby shouldn't be expected of you. Those 2 things trump dishes, laundry, vacuuming or anything else chorewise. You need time to learn your baby, learn her patterns & scrambling to do housework in between is going to stress you out & make you tired, the perfect formula for feeling depressed!
My boyfriend also is the sole provider, and while he knew caring for a baby wasn't easy he truly had NO idea how overwhelming it can be until I left him home alone while I went out for a movie & cocktails with friends. Since that night he has had a NEW appreciation & has admitted it feels easier & less stressful to work than care for the critter alone.
To be honest, I was SO worried about leaving him alone with Finn.. I worried the entire end of the movie if Finn was screaming crying, if he was hungry, was Daddy overwhelmed?? I came home to Daddy slow dancing with a swaddled baby, listening to old blues, tears in his eyes- he said it was the most overwhelming, but most amazing night of his life.
I think it's good to see things from other people perspectives, especially the ones you love.
I agree with runlotusrun. Both will survive the time together and it probably will be a significant bonding time for them. And if he's overwhelmed and you've got a nudie baby...I'm sure the baby'll be fine and the father will have a bit more respect for your situation and will be a bit more supportive now that he knows what you are going through.
First: take this from someone who is 22 weeks pregnant with child #1 (aka- no experience with actual newborn babies)
You don't need to accept that the blues/stress are normal but know that you are normal even though you feel them.
If you need to have the house be dirty to take care of yourself and your little girl then do that.
Don't let the worry about why you are feeling what you are feeling create more stress in your life. Accept you are feeling down and stressed and see if you can figure out what you need to feel better.
Almost every new mother has a let down feeling during the first couple weeks. It's a normal reaction to the hormone fluxuations your body is going through. It usually lasts a couple of weeks and starts to clear up as you get used to the changes in your life.
When the baby blues last beyond the first couple of weeks or get worse it's considered post partum depression. If things get worse or continue on past the next week it might be time to talk to a doctor. You might be going through the normal adjustments of new motherhood. A professional will help you determine if you need help.
Hon, before you stress yourself out about producing enough milk, please get yourself to a qualified IBCLC to be evaluated. You are almost definitely producing enough milk, but she can help you confirm or disavow your fears. She will also assist you with helping your baby latch and, if she's not ready to do that, she'll get you on a SNS. We had to do the SNS for several weeks, then my son was on a nipple shield for three months before he was finally ready to latch directly.
In the mean time, the ladies in breastfeeding can help. It's also not too late to apply for an adopt_a_mom mentor. Best wishes.
Supplemental nursing system. It uses a tube with one end attached to a bag or large syringe and the other end feeding into a nipple shield to help your baby learn to latch.
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My boyfriend also is the sole provider, and while he knew caring for a baby wasn't easy he truly had NO idea how overwhelming it can be until I left him home alone while I went out for a movie & cocktails with friends. Since that night he has had a NEW appreciation & has admitted it feels easier & less stressful to work than care for the critter alone.
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I think it's good to see things from other people perspectives, especially the ones you love.
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You don't need to accept that the blues/stress are normal but know that you are normal even though you feel them.
If you need to have the house be dirty to take care of yourself and your little girl then do that.
Don't let the worry about why you are feeling what you are feeling create more stress in your life. Accept you are feeling down and stressed and see if you can figure out what you need to feel better.
Reply
When the baby blues last beyond the first couple of weeks or get worse it's considered post partum depression. If things get worse or continue on past the next week it might be time to talk to a doctor. You might be going through the normal adjustments of new motherhood. A professional will help you determine if you need help.
I liked this Q&A about the baby blues, PPD and PPP. It was simply laid out and might help answer some of your questions.
http://www.afterbaby.com/postpartum_depression.htm
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In the mean time, the ladies in breastfeeding can help. It's also not too late to apply for an adopt_a_mom mentor. Best wishes.
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Thank you very much, we are supposed to go to a La Leche league meeting in a few weeks
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I hope you get some answers at the LLL meeting.
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