4491: Into Our Darkness - Aliana

[pottersues]

There is an entry either the writer and/or their defenders continue to wank. If you're having to say the writer "does a lot better of a job than someone that just rewrites a story scene for scene like a lot of people do" the story most likely isn't amazing like you think it is.

Title: Into Our Darkness
Perpetrator: Merakiart
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic

Comments

[darth_gojira]

You know, I really do hope this ends with the Sue accidentally vaporing Draco. It'd be kind of hilarious.

[yemi_hikari]

While that would be funny for a crackfic, I think the writer is actually serious with this one.

[yemi_hikari]

Fanfic go boom! That's what popped into my head after reading about her powers. Boom!

[indigoneutrino]

“This little girl took out an entire block within a quarter-mile radius. It’s going to take weeks, maybe even months to repair the damage she’s caused.”

They repaired a considerably bigger region of New York within a few minutes in the first Fantastic Beasts. Though, maybe that’s more a criticism of the movie than the fic. It did seem like a rather convenient way to avoid lasting consequences.

I actually really like the writing style in this. And I could get behind the premise. It’s just kinda prone to excess and and a few cliches. With more development and some proper consideration of the character’s motives (and probably a fresh overhaul of what’s written so far) I think this could be good.

[pottersues]

That makes me ponder as well, whether New York could be fixed so quickly. It might be easier to blame it on a non-magical event.