DUMBLEDORE IS ALIVE? WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME?

I MEAN THERE'S NO POINT LIVING IF NO ONE CARES ENOUGH TO TELL YOU DUMBLEDORE DIDN'T DIE!

YOU KNOW, I'M SO GLAD EVERYONE'S BEEN CELEBRATING MY RETURN TO SOCIETY AFTER NEARLY FOUR MONTHS OF BEING TRAPPED IN A SHODDY BOOK. (NOBODY WILL EVER READ IT.) I MEAN, THE RECEPTION HAS BEEN ENORMOUS ( Read more... )

NOW FOR WRATH! NOW FOR RUIN! AND A RED DAWN!

ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

OKAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW WORRISOME I SHOULD FIND THIS, BUT THE MUGGLE STUDIES PROFESSOR IS TAILING ME. EVERYWHERE I GO, SHE IS THERE ( Read more... )

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

AFTER POPULAR DEMAND, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO A FEW GIRLS MAILING ME SOME UNDERCLOTHES BEGGING ME FOR THIS, I PRESENT YOU WITH:

LARRY HOTTER AND THE TRAGEDY OF HOGWASH PAST/PRESENT/FUTURE ETCA LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY, THERE WAS THIS BOY, ALL RIGHT? ARE YOU FOLLOWING THIS? HIS NAME WAS LARRY HOTTER. THIS IS BECAUSE HE WAS ( Read more... )

SO I WAS THINKING ABOUT ENTERING THE SHORT STORY CONTEST.

I HAVE A GREAT IDEA.

IN OTHER WORDS...DON'T BOTHER. I'M GOING TO WIN, ANYWAY.

AND YOU KNOW, IF I DON'T, I MIGHT SERIOUSLY HAVE TO RECONSIDER MY POSITION AS SAVIOR OF THE WIZARDING WORLD.

SO APPARENTLY, AFTER I GOT MAD AT MY COMPUTER AND IT BROKE AFTER I ACCIDENTALLY THREW IT AT A WALL THREE OR FOUR TIMES AND THEN OUT OF A WINDOW, I MISSED MOST OF A PRETTY GOOD GAME OF DEATH EATERS.

BUT BABIES, I'M TELLING YOU, I HAVEN'T EVEN READ IT, AND I KNOW IT'S VOLDEMORT'S (YES, I SAID HIS NAME) FAULT.

THEY SAY IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT, YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING, BUT LATELY, I'M NOT SO SURE ( Read more... )