LJ Idol Week 32, in which a spear of mockery is lodged deep in the heart of Texas

[porn_this_way]

This entry is dedicated to m_malcontent and alien_infinity, who dared me to use the armadillo. No Texans were harmed in the making of this post, although many pieces of poor, unsuspecting clipart were brutally Photoshopped for the greater good. While I actually *am* from Texas, I ask that you please lock your sarcasm receptors securely in the ON position, and yes, a text-

Comments

[theafaye]

Curse you armadillo!!!! It took my wife too, you know.

[porn_this_way]

DAMN that armadillo is giving the best little whorehouse in Texas a run for its money!

[m_malcontent]

Oh stop pretending I didn't see you at the Alan Jackson concert at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo wearing a hat and your Cowboy Butts Drive Me Nuts T-Shirt.

I could tell you were staring at my big enough to eat a 4 course meal off of it belt buckle and wondering if I had a package of skoal tucked into my drawers or was just happy to see you.

[porn_this_way]

I stole that shirt from you BTW. And you were PISSED. It was either that or your "save a horse, ride a cowboy" shirt, and I figured the first one was slightly less horrific.

Also, I heard your belt buckle is being purchased by NASA for use as an artificial satellite. Just sayin'.

[whipchick]

I really enjoy how out there you are willing to go - you had me from "nice and straight. Just like is says in Leviticus."

Deceptively simple and very sly :)

[porn_this_way]

"how out there you are willing to go"

Translation: Damn, woman, have you no shame?!

Glad I was able to give you a laugh at this ridiculous State's expense, and now the only problem remaining is whether I tag this entry as fiction or real life.

[xo_kizzy_xo]

Now you've got me making up lovesick armadillo ballards in my head ;)

Texas is...interesting. I've only been down there once (Dallas/Ft. Worth area), and the two things that stuck out to me were 1) how huge the sky is down there, and 2) that the mileage around the Metroplex is the same as my driving from here to the state border :boggle:

[porn_this_way]

Ugh DFW. That place...THAT PLACE. I could have just posted a fucking map of that damn metroplex for the "cesspool" prompt and been done with it. (In other words: that's where I grew up). Texas is really weird in that we don't really have *cities*, we have urban sprawls. Everything is SO spread out, it's just insane! Sorry you had to ever experience this hellhole, though I hope you found a particularly cute armadillo to take home with you as a souvenir :P

[mstrobel]

Haha oh my god so I just saw the musical Moonshadow on Tuesday and the lead character in THAT was called Stormy so now I have all this Cat Stevens running through my head as WELL as all the awesome LOLs from this entry WHICH I LOVED SO HARD! I'm now creating MANY a country song :D

[porn_this_way]

OMG now those are two worlds that should never, EVER collide!

Glad you enjoyed the entry, however! Hopefully the country songs won't give you too many recurring nightmares about amorous goats and thieving tractors.

[mstrobel]

Or amorous tractors!

Oy, vodka.